In not making child do homework

[Qwerty21]

My child is given spellings to do 4 nights a week, a homework sheet per week and a school reading book. In year 3. I used to battle with them most nights to do that spellings and get the homework sheet done. We occasionally read the school book but that was another fight too. I've got to the point now where I've said enough is enough and I'm not forcing it anymore. Our evenings have drastically improved, there's far less moodiness and raised voices. But I'm wondering if I'm doing them an injustice but not enforcing it. They aren't falling behind at school, in fact in most areas they are ahead. And we read every night before bed, just not the school book.
I'll be honest in saying I found fitting in the homework a pain around my work, and my child's after school activities, there's only one evening a week we're actually free from after school pick up til bedtime. But if the general consensus is that doing the homework is more beneficial than the stress it causes us both then I'll reconsider my decision.

We are represented with the same amount in yr1... My child is 6 ffs. I was honest and told the teacher the homework would not be done unless DS opted to himself.. we've had a huge push on reading as his confidence was dropping and with that the spellings have come. If DS wasn't 'behind' as such then I wouldn't have but I can't see the benefit in his confidence levels alone. So it was really more to make his school day more enjoyable for him than for him to 'keep up' as such. So no I don't think yabu but would be prepared to dip the toe in a few times a half term to keep the flow

I work in a primary school, yr3 in fact. That doesn’t sound like a lot of homework really - reading, practicing spellings and one other thing.

My school are not bothered if you read the school reading book at home, we just want to see evidence you are reading something! So I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Do you record what you are reading in a reading diary?

Practicing spellings at home makes a real difference if the child finds them tricky as we do not have much time to do this at school. On the other hand there are also good spellers who do not need to do this - if your child is getting full/good marks on their spelling tests then I wouldn’t worry too much about it, maybe just a quick practice once a week to check.

While I don’t believe any young child should be doing hours of homework last night, doing the above plus one other homework sheet really does not seem excessive, and I do believe it’s a good way to be involved in what your child is doing at school, to support them and to show them you think education is important.

What activities are you doing that prevent you from 15 minutes homework a day with your child? You do spellings in the car, walking home it shouldn't be a ball ache.

It doesn't sound like that much really. What's the problem?

Besides reading, I think homework in primary school is ridiculous. I certainly wouldn't be doing it 4 nights a week, if at all.

YABU and lazy. We have activities every night after school plus Saturday mornings, and my husband doesnt get home until the kids are asleep. I still manage to fit in spellings and a reading book with both. Usually in the car, while waiting for a sibling, sometimes for five minutes before bed. Do they occasionally moan about it? Sure. Would life be easier without having to fit it in? Definitely. But they're both fantastic at reading and writing, so I wholeheartedly believe it does some good.

I had this with my eldest. How do you approach it? If you are negative in approach which is certainly understandable in recent episodes your child will pick this up.
You could do in the car etc. try not to make out like it’s a chore

Lazy parenting.

Life is full of things that we don't want to do, but they are beneficial to us. That's the lesson you should be teaching your child.

I don't work purely for the love of it. I work because I have to. I hate cleaning but clean because it needs to be done. Both things enrich my life in the long run. Among many other things.

Doing homework will teach displine, and its benefits far outweigh the "hassle" of getting it done.

You aren't doing your dc any favours. Being a parent sometimes sucks and making homework part of the routine is not fun, but it can be.

For example when dc1 was that age we did rainbow spelling practice and used coloured pens, magnetic letters on the fridge or a magnet board, quick word scrambles, did time trials to see of we could beat the timer on the homework sheet. Stickers and rewards for completing all the work for the half term and letting dc choose a half term treat (ie day out at the farm, coral reef etc). Before long it was routine and rewards weren't expected. We now celebrate at the end of the school year with a "hard work" treat.

I think it’s about the principle, as she goes through school she will get more and more homework. That homework supports her development and learning and education is a foundation for so much. Why should she do that then if her behaviour now has resulted in her being able to avoid it.

I get that it’s miserable but perhaps it’s reframing it, sometimes I tickle their backs when they are reading as they loovvve that! Sometimes I get a bar of choc from the shop so that they can have a couple of squares, when I am feeling flush we may go to a cafe for coffee and cake on a weekend and spend twenty minutes going through it then.

You could, if funds allow consider a tutor for an hour a week - we have one and it’s always been a thing that they would have one. However I appreciate that it isn’t a possibility for many families.

It needs a balanced approach. If causing disharmony in the family then talk to the school. My DC are young adults now. Things must have changed a bit if it’s optional and you can just say no because in my DC’s junior school (state) if homework was not completed they were kept in at break or lunchtime to complete it. You couldn’t just opt out. It used to annoy me because there was little evidence that homework was a benefit for juniors, apart from in year 6 when they were getting ready for secondary school. I would just keep with the reading and a short bit of spelling at the weekend.

That really doesn't sound that much, surely 15 or 20 minutes would complete that after school? My DD of a similar age has 10 spellings to revise each week, a different reading homework every night and a literacy or numeracy worksheet every night. Sometimes we do some of the numeracy/literacy apps too depending on what time we have. It really doesn't seem that much at all!

It's great that they are reading at home, even though it isn't the school text, but do speak to the teacher about it and ensure it is of the appropriate level.

Do you have school age children?

We used to do spellings at the breakfast table, and reading before school too, much less stress for us.

I don't enforce homework but gently push towards tt rockstars and the other spelling app if they are home before 6pm. My children have always read and are excelling in school, I'm not fighting about homework at 8.

I work full time, one child is SEN and I just can't face my evenings being a battleground. We do other things such as board games, cooking, random spelling tests as playing so I don't follow the schools method but both are doing well so I don't care.

It says in OP, year 3.

I say YANBU OP. My kids are year 2 and year 5 and we get a grid of homework half termly - choose one thing from each column, so about 5 things per half term.

Weekly spellings but we never do them at home as they do them in school and always get them all right so 🤷‍♀️

Reading when we can. Again, they read in school and are doing more than fine.

I’m starting to think ahead to high school and hoping year 6 involves and increase in homework otherwise he’ll have a shock in year 7, but for now we’re remaining chilled.

I do and work full time in a stressful job and my husband often works away and my kids do their homework. Don’t patronise someone who is asking why they can’t do it. Yeah you can.

I've yet to see anything that supports homework during primary school age to be important as long as someone is reading to them at home which is the case.

I wouldn't make it a battle either.

We don’t do homework and never have. My kids are year 4 and 6. The year 6 does her own by herself the year 4 doesn’t do any. If they can do it by themselves then fine but I’m not forcing my kids to do homework when they have much better things to do outside of school

Yeah, and then we're talking about underfunded education, private school getting better results only because of privilege, bla bla bla.

This all starts at home. No teaching can compensate for lazy parenting.
In Y3 ffs! What will you do when he refuses to revise for GCSE?

I recently picked a primary for my child. Outstanding rating and really great results.

Was super surprised they have a specific no homework policy!

They do have a book club thing (so disguised homework) which they expect you to do. But the children pick their own books from the library so it’s led by their interests.

But no sheets or spellings or anything else.

Was really pleased with that 😅

So now I wonder if it really matters. 🤷‍♀️

I don't understand how anyone thinks it's possible to do spellings in a car. How am I supposed to read the words to my child when I'm driving and how are they supposed to right it down?
I agree doing a few spellings and completing a homework sheet shouldn't take long, but the reality is it does. The spellings take a good 20-30 mins alone. I have to constantly encourage them to keep going. I might have to remind them of the word 3 times before they even begin to write it. If they get it wrong they get upset or angry at themselves. It's a horrible environment.
I didn't say in my op because fundamentally it doesn't make a difference to whether it's important to my child's education for us to do them or not, but my child's being assessed for ADHD and Autism, so I wonder if this affects how much of a battle homework is (I don't have another school aged child for comparison). As it really isn't a quick or easy thing for us to do.

The books we read at home are much more advanced than the school ones so I know they're challenging enough.

My child doesn't get into any trouble for not completing it.

My child isn't the only one who doesn't do it amongst their peers.

My main worry about not doing it is the adjustment to doing it in secondary school which makes me question if I should be enforcing it now