In not making child do homework

[Qwerty21]

My child is given spellings to do 4 nights a week, a homework sheet per week and a school reading book. In year 3. I used to battle with them most nights to do that spellings and get the homework sheet done. We occasionally read the school book but that was another fight too. I've got to the point now where I've said enough is enough and I'm not forcing it anymore. Our evenings have drastically improved, there's far less moodiness and raised voices. But I'm wondering if I'm doing them an injustice but not enforcing it. They aren't falling behind at school, in fact in most areas they are ahead. And we read every night before bed, just not the school book.
I'll be honest in saying I found fitting in the homework a pain around my work, and my child's after school activities, there's only one evening a week we're actually free from after school pick up til bedtime. But if the general consensus is that doing the homework is more beneficial than the stress it causes us both then I'll reconsider my decision.

Oh no op I suspect dd 2 has sen, and she stepped up admirably for a huge increase of work when we put her into a temporary 3 month program.
Her school thankfully dropped hw.
She's stepped up with no issues for secondary. Her self esteem was shocking in early primary and now she wants to do well and learn.

The key here is know your child and support your dc to navigate our old fashioned schools system that crushes many dc

There are different types of help….as I’ve tried to explain already if the OPs child is suspected ADHD or ASD there are better strategies than “forcing” them/it becoming a miserable battle.

I’ve never made my kids do homework, they spend 6 hours a day in school 5 days a week. Where is the time to do it at home? Parents are under enough stress and kids deserve a childhood. I have one in high school she’s getting top marks in all her classes and a primary school child who is also doing amazing and right on track.

we read every night at bedtime, we have very little screen time, we encourage games like hangman, snap, board games in the evening and one night a week we have a themed family meal everyone pitches in this week it’s pasta and pizza made from scratch, the adults have been finding it great learning new recipes and the kids are learning how to actually cook meals that aren’t full of crap.
do what works for you and your family, school isn’t the only form of education

I would try and do the reading and spellings, and depending on the homework sheet I would do that too.

With the reading are you reading to your child or do they read to you? You say your books are more advanced, but can your child actually comprehend them? Some children can read the words in front of them, but have no idea what any of it means. This might be why the books don't seem that advanced, and many schools use a quiz system to check their understanding. If they are scoring low on this, then while they might be capable of reading, it shows they need more support with the meaning of words.

Spellings is another area depending on your child to focus on. If you know your child does well on the weekly test and that what they do in school is enough, then don't worry about it. If they are scoring low, then you again need to think about how you are supporting them with this. For some children it is very disheartening to see a low score every time, but it also frustrating as a teacher to know that child doesn't do any learning outside of school to help them. If they are crying and distressed then it is an issue a parent could help try to prevent.

If you are going to drop anything, then depending on what it is, the homework sheet would be the thing to go. If it's something like maths though and reinforcing what they have done in school, then I would do it, but if it's a wordsearch or something like that I would be more likely to skip it.

Is your child reading at bedtime or are you? The school book will be teaching them to read. Just do two pages a night. It doesn't have to be a full book.

Spelling just write them out once or twice a night. They can be doing this while you cook tea/tidy up. In year 3 they should be able to independently copy out 10 spellings. Assuming you can spell the words they can shout them out to you as they right so you can follow along.

You need to make time and support school by completing homework. If you opt out now how or when do you reintroduce? Year 6 for sats? Yr 7 for high school? Yr 11 for GCSEs.

It's a habit they need to develop now.

Spelling take 2-3 minutes a day here for similar aged child,
I created a simple grid on the computer and printed a term’s worth of blank copies.

Then every Saturday I write out the 10 spellings, 5 times before their test, they sit at the kitchen table with a pencil and look at the word, then covers it up and writes it out. Just fold the paper over. First time is basically copying, by 5th time Quick Look, hide word and copy it out.

takes as long as it takes to write 10 words.

Just don't do the homework. I don't believe in homework at primary age.

Neither does my DC school either thankfully. They just want you to read together at home, which we do anyway for fun pretty much every day. But I keep it child led and don't enforce it because I don't want to suck the joy out of reading. Children should enjoy learning at such a young age and not feel stressed by it.

Spelling tests are pointless. Children learn them for the test and don’t apply in their writing. If you are doing it for
the discipline fine, but they do not improve spelling long term, so if it’s a battle I would leave it, focus on the reading which absolutely does have an impact.

I actually feel sorry for your kids reading that, they need time to be children

It’s because schools don’t have time to teach children that need a bit of a push. It’s tough and unlike all the amazing parents who have posted about their baby Einstein’s who love learning, it can take hours with whiny child and makes learning something they hate. Especially at the end of the day when they are tired. I stopped because it was making us both miserable-but outsourced with a tutor as he fell behind.

You sound a good parent. When mine were this age (7-8) the school gave homework because lots of parents asked for it. But it wasn’t a requirement.

My DC are older now and educated to uni level. My strong advice is don’t make homework a battle. It turns them off learning. It should be fun at that age. They should want to do it and enjoy it. And the most important thing is a love of reading. So, if your DS enjoys you reading with him, and the books are as advanced as the school books, you’re doing exactly the right thing: focus on keeping that up. I used to take it in turns with mine to read a paragraph or a page each at bedtime, so it didn’t wear them out when tired and they could learn how I read by looking at the words as I read.

Do anything that gets them to read without realising. Reading out your shopping list items in the supermarket. Reading recipes out for you when you cook. Buying them comics or games (football cards or Top Trumps) that involve reading. Going to the library and letting them choose a book or two. Non fiction books with lots of pictures can be good too: e.g. about space, sharks or football. Reading them teaches them how to spell.

With spellings, little and often can be easier: one or two words a day. Get them to say the letters out loud as well as writing them down. That way, you can test them while you’re doing anything together: watching TV, coming home etc. Don’t move onto the next words until they know them. Group words, e.g. shame, frame, game.

But don’t battle or make it a chore. The most important thing about learning is it should be enjoyable and lifelong.

Oh no! You must of misunderstood, I was being sincere.

I don't agree that the consolidation work is one that teacher should be doing.

The class I teach are slightly older (I'm in Ireland) For homework they get
Spellings (in Irish and English )(3 a night) they all have individual spelling lists in English so they would need to be done at home.
Reading in Irish and English: no way could I listen to 33 reading a day so to get an opportunity to read aloud it needs to be done at home. We are reading a class novel at the moment so if it is not done at home they are not ready for the next lesson.(Doesn't need to be read aloud)
Tables; again we do lots of practice in school but they need to go over them at home
3-5 sums on the topic we are working on that week so parents can see what they are doing.

Most research I have read on homework (like the Stanford research) focuses on the amount of homework and using "busy work" as homework.

It doesn't sound excessive to me but perhaps it doesn't fit into your routine.

That’s really not a lot of homework at all.

Oh the usual replies insulting the OP for having autistic children, I bet all those posters are proud of themselves for being so great.
@Qwerty21 my child is autistic and getting them from the school door, home, eaten, toilet and bed often takes the whole time in the evening, let alone trying to force him to do homework when he is demand avoidant.
The school (actually the government) decree what should happen in schools, but you are the one who knows your child and knows what they are capable of it.
Don't kill yourself and your child just to jump through some hoops, by all means have a conversation with school, but if the standard thing doesn't fit your neuro divergent child then don't do it at their cost.
Good luck!

I used to nanny for school age kids. Spellings in the car or walk to school definitely easier. I have a homework not essential attitude but no screens until it's done rule this has worked for every child get the work done without whining and much faster as they are motivated/ except my own high needs autistic child. It's not hard to fit into a busy routine at all when the kids are motivated to get it done usually it doesn't need much adult input at all if any.

Reading I'm with you. If you read at bedtime every night that's enough

I think it's a good idea to get into a routine of doing a small amount of homework during primary school otherwise it can come as a shock when they start secondary school. A few spellings, a reading book and a homework sheet doesn't sound like a huge amount.

a bit of reading and spelling ? gosh. very lazy. of course you can do spelling in a car.

Both my children have SEN. Reading and homework was really tough going during primary school. I agree that there is a marked difference in family life when that is removed from the equation. Ultimately though, I’m glad I persevered, or I think doing secondary school homework would have been really challenging.

I had no homework whatsoever in primary other than a school reading book. There were thirty eight kids in my class. Are children now at a significant advantage statistically when they leave school because there is more homework in primary school? If not then I don't know what we are doing it for.

There's a big difference in not forcing my child to do homework, and not caring about my childs education and attainment.

I never said I was too lazy to do it, I said I didn't want to struggle to fit it into our schedule and deal with the resulting arguments and meltdowns over it if there's no benefit to my child in doing so. But of course if it makes you feel better to call me a lazy parent go ahead.

To those of you who replied with kindness and decency, thank you.

I've read all the replies. It's interesting to see there's a big split on the topic.

I think I will try and introduce homework once a week and give my child the option of whether they'd prefer to do the spellings or the sheet as some choice in it for them might alleviate the battle a bit. And I'll look into that Rockstars for their times tables.

Regarding the reading, my child reads two pages to me and I read the rest to them. However they read along with me as they often join in , and correct me if I miss a word or something! Any words they don't understand they ask me to explain.

School has them for years and years, and for hours and hours a day. Then homework in case they cheer up. Consider it optional. If they are good enough (or bad enough) it will make little difference.

As long as you’re reading then don’t worry about the rest. I’ve taught primary for 20 years and the only thing that has been proven to be effective is reading and times tables practice. The rest is usually to please parents and tick boxes. I imagine your child’s teacher feels the same if she’s not pushing it.
My youngest hated most books so we would read everything and anything while we were out and about; signs, maps, food labels, anything. My oldest who did very little homework is now a graduate and out-earning me by miles.
Children are quite adaptable, they pick it up fine at secondary.