In not making child do homework

[Qwerty21]

My child is given spellings to do 4 nights a week, a homework sheet per week and a school reading book. In year 3. I used to battle with them most nights to do that spellings and get the homework sheet done. We occasionally read the school book but that was another fight too. I've got to the point now where I've said enough is enough and I'm not forcing it anymore. Our evenings have drastically improved, there's far less moodiness and raised voices. But I'm wondering if I'm doing them an injustice but not enforcing it. They aren't falling behind at school, in fact in most areas they are ahead. And we read every night before bed, just not the school book.
I'll be honest in saying I found fitting in the homework a pain around my work, and my child's after school activities, there's only one evening a week we're actually free from after school pick up til bedtime. But if the general consensus is that doing the homework is more beneficial than the stress it causes us both then I'll reconsider my decision.

YABU. It's a small amount of homework and it's your responsibility at that age. Age 13, fine, leave them to it. But not helping a year 3 is just laziness.

Time spent instilling good habits now although a chore will pay off when you have teenagers who just get on and do their homework without thinking about it because for as long as they can remember mum has said it is not negotiable and backed the school up (regardless of her own preferences).

You don't want to be trying force a 6ft 16 year old boy to get on and do his maths equations or a 16 year old girl on her period whose bf has just dumped her to revise her irregular French verbs.

You want them not to realise there is any option not to do it.

I would cut the homework down rather than not do it at all. The reading book is irrelevant if you are reading together anyway (ie both reading some of it, not just your child being read to). However, to do one day of spellings and one day the maths piece (I assume that is what the other homework is) is very manageable. If your child is getting stressed trying to spell the words, just have them practice writing them. In school, we draw a squiggle pattern and get them to fill each of the sqiggle areas with one of the spelling words in a coloured felt tip. The overall pattern is lovely. You could also play hang-man with the words - anything to get them interacting with the words. It need not be a battle.

PS if evenings are busy do the HW in the morning e.g. get them to come spell the words to you while you get dressed etc.

Children are at school 6 hours a day for how many days a year?

If you read to your child on a frequent basis, take them out for enriching experineces and teach them life skills, interact with them outside of the daily humdrum; then there is NO reason why you as a parent should have to do the work of consolidation that the teacher should be doing.

In the 80s and 90s we never had homework until secondary school. It's nonsense.

Well, good luck when they get to secondary and have fuck all work ethic to study for exams is all I while say..!

My child went to a school where loads was given in reception. Trying to be a good parent I made them do it. It was so stressful. Then we ended up changing schools hardly any homework in comparison! I look back and think why did I bother? Reading book and one piece of h/w. No one struggled and it’s a good school.

We encouraged them to read and do some of the work, take to the library, museums, etc. We also had a battle when they were little, they were tired from school; if they are not in the mood to learn there is not point. They are in secondary school now and quite responsible.

I was at school 1990 to 2002, definitely had primary school homework, including during the summer holidays.

Totally. What happened to showing respect to the school and teachers? Parents shouldn’t pick and choose what homework their children do. No wonder kids don’t have any respect for their teachers nowadays.

You are allowed to opt out of homework.
i know a primary school teacher who wrote to her children’s school and requested to opt out of homework. She doesn’t believe in homework for primary age. Waited until secondary. Both are straight A students.

As someone who has been teaching and leading in primary schools for years, I would say read, read , read which by the sound of it you already do. I think times-table practise can be beneficial . I rarely see any correlation between those that do spellings homework and those that spell word correctly in extended writing pieces. The best spellers are usually the children who read lots!

My DC’s school only does things where there is evidence that it is beneficial and has links a top university for educational research. The research shows that homework makes no difference to overall attainment and so our school does not set any. We are encourage to read to and with our kids often as research shows this is beneficial.

This!

This is why all these Labour initiatives on education are silly when this is the typical attitude of many parents.

People will say my children do well due to privilege, how about I can actually be arsed to do some reading and spellings with them?!

Children can still do well without homework in primary school as long as they are read to at home which OP says is happening.

I've worked I'm primary schools for years across all year groups and you can see the huge difference in the children that read snd do homework at home and the ones that don't, unfortunately those children that don't tend to be at a huge disadvantage and do not progress as well

Wow we have a super mum here! Bravo! #mummyoftheyear

@PrincessPeache agree over learning is good for some children with sen, but again I'd rather do that in a non formal way

Spiteful

There is little to no evidence that homework is beneficial for primary school children
Read here:
https://www.hull.ac.uk/work-with-us/more/media-centre/news/2022/primary-school-children-get-little-academic-benefit-from-homework

Schools don't do it to encourage independence, build relationships with parents or to teach them how to handle homeworks when they're older. They do it because they are obsessed with results, attainment and progress and because Ofsted is always looming. Children have ridiculous targets that the school will do anything to achieve, even if it means giving homework every night and taking children out of their afternoon lessons (usually when the creative and sports lessons are) for 'intervention', where they will be set more homework.
Teachers end up setting homeworks to prove that they are doing all they can to help children make progress.
Ofsted also look at home/school communication and some interpret this as homework.
Many parents complain when there's no homework so schools set it just to keep them happy.
I was a yr6 teacher for 10 years and hated setting homework. I also hated the hours it took me to set and mark it on top of my normal workload, when many wouldn't do it (fair enough) but I'd get pulled up on not making them. Meanwhile behaviour was worsening as the poor kids were doing English, maths and intervention all day then homework in the evening!
I'm very jaded as you can tell.

Hi OP. I didn't enforce homework at Primary school until year 6.
We always read to them and bought books etc. and encouraged reading, we played family games together and watched films together, went on walks together etc.
To my mind, there is a lot more value in this time together, and not all education is about completing worksheets or spellings.
They are both in Grammar secondary now, and they are completing the homework as it's non-negotiable now.
Yes it took a bit of getting used to, but now I don't even have to say do homework, they do off their own bat. To me it was family time spent together, playing together that was beneficial. To each their own, but it worked for us.

Yes, you're being unreasonable. It'd take 10 minutes to do that homework if you do a little before and after school. It isn't arduous and reading particularly is something that you should be doing twice a day with your child.

You're building the habit and the expectation that school work is something that is done and supported at home.

I have a 7 year old and a rushed, busy life. But we allow enough time in the morning to do it and also do a short bout in the afternoon. No real option, because my child is SEN and if I just abdicate the responsibility, their progress will stall and they will fall even further massively behind. BUT if an SEN child can do it, a NT child can too. The only difference is your attitude.

@Claudiand

Did you read my post? I've always fostered an actual love of learning and she was doing so well from year 2 the school /teacher let us drop what was killing that love :pointless hw

Spellings... give the child the list the day he gets it and then just practice the words they can't yet spell. You can be creative with it, bubble writing, rainbow writing, use it to play hangman etc.

Reading is reading. Doesn't matter if it's the school book or not. As long as they are reading regularly, it's all good.

What does the homework sheet consist of? Can it be chunked down? Can it be adapted so he does a project/powerpoint/presentation instead? If not, start with the tasks he finds easiest/more interesting and see how you get on.