To say that living alone is better than sharing a home with anyone?

[MintZebra]

Even the best relationships or friendships don’t compare to the peace of living by yourself. AIBU to think solo living is the ultimate goal?

10 years ago I was in a nuclear family of 4 then my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. Children left home and I’ve lived alone for 6 years now. Obviously I would have preferred not to be left alone by my husband’s death but having my own place is blissful.
I don’t think that many people get the chance to live alone really. With the cost of housing many of us live in shared accommodation before we move in with partners or marry.

I was about to say that I can do whatever I want whenever I want to, but I have cats and they are in charge.

I love living alone. I'm in a good area with many amenities, I have friends nearby and I'm currently in a happy relationship. It would be harder without those. I've had housemates, good and bad, and lived with partners, good and bad, but the sanctity of your own space isn't to be beaten. I see it as a privilege. It's such a freedom.

This fills me with dread . Living alone never ever again. So lonely empty.

I've never lived alone, went straight from my childhood home to living with DH.

The thought terrifies me.

Same here. I think if I ended up like that I would rent a room to someone to share with and make a bit of money.

This. ^ Whilst it's OK now and again/for the short term, living alone forever, NEVER living with anyone else, ever, sounds incredibly depressing and lonely. I think some people are kidding themselves here. It's not a life I would choose -being alone forever.

You can tell the ladies doth protest too much, by the way they keep posting threads stating how 'wonderful' and 'amazing' it is to live alone (and be alone.)

Why do you need to tell everyone how amaaaaaaaaaaazing it it?

Weird.

We could spend the whole thread arguing about who’s protesting too much

Some people hate / would hate living alone.

Some people hate / would hate sharing their home.

Neither group can understand why the others feel as they do, but that’s fine.

I hated living alone. Of course, the peace and quiet and having your own space is lovely but eventually coming home to an empty house every night and not having anyone to chat about the day with did start to get me down and after a while I definitely felt lonely. It was bloody dreadful when I was sick too and had nobody to bring me a drink or medicine etc.

I now live with DH and DDs and wouldn't change it. But DH is extremely easy to live. If I was in a crap relationship I could see living alone would be very appealing!

I do relish an evening to myself though and enjoy when he goes out with his friends and if he ever goes away for work trips I'm pleased to have the house to myself. But wouldn't want it to be the default.

I know. But what grinds my gears is how some 'singletons' seem to crow and parp on about how being alone/single is sooooooooo much better than being with someone, and act sooooooooo superior, like their 'choice' is the better one, like they are more clever, like they have made the better life choice!

There is an air of smugness and superiority in every thread like this from (some) people who are 'proud singles.' Like it's 'empowering' and like they're 'better people,' and 'more independent.' Someone started a thread the other day saying single people are braver than people in relationships. Well, duh, not really, you're just single (and in some cases, probably not by choice.)

I see the same smugness and air of superiority in some (not all) child free by choice women. And I think the same about the boastful singletons as I do about the childfree (who act all superior.....) That they're protesting too much. If you have to keep on about it, (and start threads about it.) who are you trying to convince?

I'm out now. Said all I need to.

One last thing @GameOfJones I agree 100% with your post at 21.58!

@BatchCookBabe

I'm single and no children and live alone, so triple whammy. I don't think I'm smug - just making the best of my circumstances.

So long as I'm happy in my life and you are living your life, what does it matter.

Just me and DCat in a dinky wee cottage with great views (no garden though).
Bliss.
It had taken me 52 yrs to get to this, and never having lived alone. And 14 years of DV relationships. Still pinching myself

My job is very full on and chaotic with the general public, so this is my sanctuary. It's not quiet in terms of traffic noise (which doesn't bother me; rural setting but a v busy road) but it's away from the masses , and too small for anyone to want to move in with me, result ! ;)

I've always loved alone time.
Live with a teenager now and when she goes, I'll only need a lover who spends limited time then goes.
That plus time spent with friends and family fills my quota.

Maybe have a think about why this annoys you so much.

Never living with anyone ever is fine for me
I don't find it lonely or depressing and I've never been bored. If I was lonely I would go out or invite someone over

Not saying it's better or worse but for ME, I'm perfectly happy living by myself. It might change in future, it might not but I know that I'm always capable and fine alone

The constant “doth protest too much” comments are giving me flashbacks to the proliferation of “frothing” during the covid years.

Everyone is different, thankfully. I definitely couldn’t live with anyone else, much prefer my own space. But completely understand why someone else would feel the complete opposite.

I enjoy popping over to a friend’s place. It’s a multi-gen family set up, there’s always something going on and I’m made to feel like part of the family. But am still happy when I get back to my own space. Conversely, she loves coming over to mine for an evening of food and a couple of glasses of wine for an uninterrupted catch-up, but she wouldn’t swap what she has for anything.

Solo living is great when it’s what you really want. There’s a huge difference between living solo when you don’t want to and trying to make the best of it vs knowing that anything else would really not suit you.

So I find it odd when some people try really hard to assert that it simply isn’t possible that anyone can be happy living alone and that we’re making it up to make ourselves feel better. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a huge privilege to be able to make that choice and long may it continue.

Hmm I live alone but also have a long term partner ( who lives 2 mins walk away) if someone is ill then the other will help. We both cook and share meals. My bills are much less than his so I'm better off not paying half of those. We can share time together - and do . It's not necessary to live in same house to do that

YANBU. I can't ever imagine living with a man again (divorced 12 years).

Last time I had a man stay over, I lied to him in the morning that my daughter was on her way home, so he'd need to skedaddle

Umm, divorce?!

.
It's the worst thing.
I liked the independence at first but years down the line the loneliness is like damp in my bones, my soul and it's inescapable.

I can't wait til the kids leave home and I get to live alone.well only human in the home,I have 4 cats.

Well you're a rarity then.

No, she isn't.

Wow. You really don’t like your narrow world view being challenged, do you?

is this your tactic to try shut down everyone who disagrees with you about anything (repeatedly stating they’re ’protesting too much’) or do you have other debating skills?

There's no peace like living alone. No one shouting, losing their temper over nothing, being in a grump, muttering and moaning, or else simmering with rage and giving me the silent treatment for weeks.