Page 7 | To say that living alone is better than sharing a home with anyone?

MintZebra · 2025-02-11T17:57:36+00:00

Even the best relationships or friendships don’t compare to the peace of living by yourself. AIBU to think solo living is the ultimate goal?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/02/2025 13:16

CaptBirdsEar · 12/02/2025 11:24

Living alone with my dog I worry about what I'd do with him if I got ill. Being just me and him there is a strong bond. I know he'd fret without me.

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I've got my kids to agree that one of them will take my dog should anything happen to me (they've all got suitable homes and pets of their own). Dog is used to them looking after her when I go on holiday, so I hope she'd be all right.

EmpressaurusKitty · 12/02/2025 14:26

CaptBirdsEar · 12/02/2025 11:24

Living alone with my dog I worry about what I'd do with him if I got ill. Being just me and him there is a strong bond. I know he'd fret without me.

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Have you heard of the Cinnamon Trust, @CaptBirdsEar?

At the moment, my cat would go back to the rescue she came from if anything happened to me, but if they closed this would be my next plan.

https://cinnamon.org.uk/

Welcome to The Cinnamon Trust - The Cinnamon Trust

https://cinnamon.org.uk

KeepSmiling89 · 12/02/2025 14:38

I've been living with my mum for the last couple of years after leaving my controlling ex and, while it has its perks (live-in babysitter for my 3 year old, dinner made after work, I only look after parts of the house I inhabit), I do look forward to having my own house, my own space, my own rules etc...

CaptBirdsEar · 12/02/2025 21:24

@EmpressaurusKitty

I hadn't heard of the cinnamon trust, so thanks, I'll look at registering.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 12/02/2025 21:29

I used to find living alone very peaceful and relaxing, but after decades of living with DP and enjoying it, I think I would find it very hard. I love it when he goes out for the day but that's it - I want him back in the evening! Guess you can get used to anything though, and perhaps I will have to get used to living alone again one day.

LillyPJ · 12/02/2025 21:51

I love living alone but I don't think it's reasonable to think that's the best goal for everyone.

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:41

BatchCookBabe · 11/02/2025 21:31

I hated it too. When I first moved out (19-ish) I moved in with 4 people into a big Victorian House, (9 months I stayed,) then I moved into a flat share with 2 other women. (Stayed 15 months.) 2 years with other people. Then I got my own place. Stuck it for a year. I was really bored and lonely on my own, and was always phoning my parents, my cousin, and one of my friends. Was harder financially too. I moved back to my parents at 22, then met my now DH shortly after that and moved in with him at 23 and a half. Lived with him ever since. (Over 30 years!)

I think women who are very happy alone are far more likely to be people aged 45-50+ who have been in rubbish relationships. (For many years.) Most people I know who are younger and never married, have no desire to be alone forever. Why on earth would anyone want THAT?!

As has been said, that myth that single women are the happiest is a load of shit. It was done via a survey YEARS ago, with about 1000 people participating. Single women have clung on for dear life to this load of bollocks for YEARS now, to try to convince themselves that they are happier than married women. Methinks the ladies doth protest too much! 😆

As a pp said on another thread almost identical to this! (bedeepkoala)

As far as I know, the entire myth is literally based on a single sentence that some random academic said at a low tier conference which the Guardian picked up on and endlessly repeated since it fits their agenda.

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Single == alone.

I have never wanted to live with other people since my late 20s / early 30s and have not changed how I feel about that even in my mid 40s. But living alone and being alone are not the same.

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:43

BatchCookBabe · 11/02/2025 23:06

Are you taking the piss?! 😆 It's a well documented fact that this is a myth. 😆 It's a silly little bit of bullshit that has escalated - because some single women try and convince themselves that they're superior to married women and soooooo much better than them, so they keep repeating this bullshit.

It was a tiny survey done YEARS ago, with just a 1000 women, and it's a load of bollocks that is repeated constantly on this type of thread. As I said, methinks the ladies doth protest too much. There wouldn't be so many millions of women on online dating, if all women were happy single.

You don't get married women/women in long term relationships desperate to convince everyone how sooooooooo very happy they are! 😂

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Married women definitely do this. Married people generally.

Every time they badger and pester their single friends about needing to find somebody!

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:45

BatchCookBabe · 11/02/2025 21:00

This is the second thread in 2 days about how 'amazing' it is to be single and alone.... 🤔And how much 'stronger' and 'better' single people are than married people/people in long term relationships... 🤔

I don't see people blathering on about how great it is to be married, how much they wubz their hubby, and how they are 'stronger' and more 'successful' than SINGLE people.

Batshit! 😆Methinks the ladies doth protests too much! Who you tryna convince @MintZebra

The thread is not about being single. It’s about living alone. There are married couples who live in separate homes.

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:49

BatchCookBabe · 11/02/2025 23:05

This. ^ It's OK to be alone short term, but shit long-term. I guess it's OK if you have had a shit relationship for some years, and a relief to be alone for a bit. But I don't believe the vast majority of people want to spend their entire life living alone. I find it rather odd actually. JMO.

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It’s shit to live alone long term if that is not what you want.

If it’s what you want it’s not shit at all.

That’s one of the great things about humanity - how different we all are!

Kitchensinktoday · 13/02/2025 11:52

BeaBachinasec · 11/02/2025 19:31

I don't understand the attraction.

People will say "I can do what I want, when I want"

Well, so can I. But I like having DH around to do nothing with.

Yes! I know what you mean

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:53

BlondiePortz · 12/02/2025 01:54

solo living is the ultimate goal? so this would include every individual so we would all have to stop having children?

I presume living alone works for some people not everyone?

Where did you get that from?

BigFatLiar · 13/02/2025 15:38

JHound · 13/02/2025 11:53

Where did you get that from?

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Which bit?
Living alone works for some not all I would have thought that obvious, some enjoy company.
we'd have to stop having children Well if you want to be on your own having children sort of screws that up.
Solo living is the ultimate goal? seems to be, isn't that what the majority of this thread is about.

JHound · 13/02/2025 16:01

BigFatLiar · 13/02/2025 15:38

Which bit?
Living alone works for some not all I would have thought that obvious, some enjoy company.
we'd have to stop having children Well if you want to be on your own having children sort of screws that up.
Solo living is the ultimate goal? seems to be, isn't that what the majority of this thread is about.

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No the thread is not about everybody living solo and nobody having children.

TwistedWonder · 13/02/2025 16:02

BigFatLiar · 13/02/2025 15:38

Which bit?
Living alone works for some not all I would have thought that obvious, some enjoy company.
we'd have to stop having children Well if you want to be on your own having children sort of screws that up.
Solo living is the ultimate goal? seems to be, isn't that what the majority of this thread is about.

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Children leave home. Many of us are past the child rearing years

sammylady37 · 13/02/2025 16:37

BigFatLiar · 11/02/2025 20:55

Depends on your relationship. DH makes my life easier. Coming home to a bath, glass of wine and a rest followed by dinner being ready after a rough day. I can totally understand that being alone is better than being with someone but being with the right person is nice.

It’s very individual - I’d hate to come home to someone having drawn a bath for me. It would take me 10 seconds pour myself a glass of wine, so that’s not a perk, and I enjoy cooking or can get a delivery if I don’t feel like it.

GreenYellowBrown · 13/02/2025 16:42

Living alone is boring. There’s nothing like a lovely cuddle with DH and having someone to share my life with ❤️

EmpressaurusKitty · 13/02/2025 17:30

sammylady37 · 13/02/2025 16:37

It’s very individual - I’d hate to come home to someone having drawn a bath for me. It would take me 10 seconds pour myself a glass of wine, so that’s not a perk, and I enjoy cooking or can get a delivery if I don’t feel like it.

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It’s extremely individual!

I’m at the worst stage of a stinking cold at the moment, so I had a mini delivery mainly consisting of soup & medicine & I’m mostly moving between bed & sofa. The absolute last thing I want is human company.

MedusaAndHerFavourites · 13/02/2025 17:48

I would love to live alone in a little chocolate box cottage or smart terrace.

I'd have it so pretty. I'd eat what and when I liked, come and go as I please.

Unfortunately I have a husband and children, so not likely to happen to me for a long while.

sammylady37 · 13/02/2025 18:01

GreenYellowBrown · 13/02/2025 16:42

Living alone is boring. There’s nothing like a lovely cuddle with DH and having someone to share my life with ❤️

I don’t find it in the slightest bit boring. Each to their own.

ThinWomansBrain · 13/02/2025 18:03

Always room for a cat though😺

BatchCookBabe · 13/02/2025 19:28

sammylady37 · 13/02/2025 16:37

It’s very individual - I’d hate to come home to someone having drawn a bath for me. It would take me 10 seconds pour myself a glass of wine, so that’s not a perk, and I enjoy cooking or can get a delivery if I don’t feel like it.

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Why on earth would you HATE someone running a bath for you for when you come in? What a bizarre reason to not want to live with someone. All you have to do is say 'no need to have a bath ready for me.' At this point you're sounding like you're protesting too much. No reason on earth why you couldn't just ask your (live in) partner to not have a bath ready, if it makes you so very angry!

Gwenhwyfar · 13/02/2025 19:31

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 11/02/2025 18:05

I'm lonely as hell

Yep. I think the ideal would be to live with someone else, but in a massive home so that you can have your space if you need it. Could also be living next door to your OH.

sammylady37 · 13/02/2025 20:24

BatchCookBabe · 13/02/2025 19:28

Why on earth would you HATE someone running a bath for you for when you come in? What a bizarre reason to not want to live with someone. All you have to do is say 'no need to have a bath ready for me.' At this point you're sounding like you're protesting too much. No reason on earth why you couldn't just ask your (live in) partner to not have a bath ready, if it makes you so very angry!

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Please don’t make things up. I never said it made me angry, much less ‘so very angry’. Hate is not the same as anger.

And I would hate to arrive home to a bath having been drawn for me. I have never wanted to have a bath the minute I arrive home. When I take a bath, I like to do so late at night, when I can go to bed immediately afterwards, not early evening to be followed by a rest and dinner, as per the poster to whom I was replying. I’d hate to find someone had decided I should have a bath on arrival home and I’d hate to disappoint them by saying I didn’t want it after they’d gone to the effort.

But, actually, I didn’t list ‘someone running a bath for me’ as a reason to not want to live with someone, that’s something else you’ve made up. I was simply replying to a poster who listed things her partner does that she perceives make her life easier, and my point was that this was very individual, and the things that make her life easier would not be benefits for me. Because we’re all individuals, with different wants, needs and desires. A concept you seem to struggle with, given that you keep posting “protest too much” comments on the thread… you seem to be unable or unwilling to understand that others may want different things from life than you do, and how you choose to live your life is not necessarily how others choose to live theirs. Is your world view and life experience really that narrow, that you assume we all want live-in relationships?

EmpressaurusKitty · 13/02/2025 20:29

Because we’re all individuals, with different wants, needs and desires. A concept you seem to struggle with, given that you keep posting “protest too much” comments on the thread… you seem to be unable or unwilling to understand that others may want different things from life than you do, and how you choose to live your life is not necessarily how others choose to live theirs. Is your world view and life experience really that narrow, that you assume we all want live-in relationships?

BatchCookBabe does sound quite angry.

I think it’s obvious & good that everyone feels differently about how they choose to live.