Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

[Miratea]

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

Erm… free will?

No that won't work

I’m asking because it can cause a lot of damage to the women that it happens to.it’s like emotional assault

Understand your upset, but no it's a crazy suggestion the law doesn't need to get involved in matters like this.

I'm sorry to hear that. IMO cheating is abusive. I suggest you do the Freedom Programme and read up on red flags. It sounds like he love bombed you and had a history of cheating.

Imagine the police having to investigate this

Perhaps you might like how the Taliban approach things OP. Morality police and the like. Personally I'm glad we have a degree of free will.

There aren't enough resources to deal with all the actual crime happening so I don't think dragging the justice system into people's relationships would help anyone.

Women cheat as well.

There are countries where it is illegal, I think they stone adulterous women in Afghanistan for example. No thanks

I want to say YABU but I've witnessed the aftermath and it doesn't seem right that someone can unleash such devastating trauma on another and walk away without consequence.

You're hurting, you're angry, but it cannot and will not be made punishable by the law.

Jesus. Think it through!

I wouldn't object to adultery being illegal.

I certainly think that proven adultery should be taken into account when splitting assets in a divorce, in favour of the wronged spouse.

Because to be illegal it would make it a crime, and the police don't have enough time and resources to cope with real crime like theft, without having to investigate whether your partner slept with someone else last Friday night.

It's a personal relationship issue, not a legal one.

You're using extremely emotive language 'traumatised' where I would use 'upset'

You learn from these experiences and develop knowledge and skills to help you navigate future relationships.

It used to be, if you were married.

Back in the seventeenth/eighteenth century it was possible to sue people who had sex with your husband/wife.

It was called criminal conversation.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criminal_conversation

There were a lot of problems with it, most obviously that getting actual proof that someone has cheated is a bloody nightmare.

In the 30s when divorce was only for specific reasons like adultery sometimes people who wanted to get divorced would go to a seaside hotel and hire someone to pretend to be their lover. They'd leave loads of evidence, but not necessarily have sex with them. Then they could get divorced by reason of adultery for which there would be lots of evidence.

A lot of lawyers hated it because it made a mockery of the law. These people didn't actually commit adultery they just wanted to get divorced and this was the easiest way.

Because people aren’t property. It’s a completely insane idea.

I think I would rather deal with it myself than go down to the local nick! Well what happed Officer, my boyfriend got pissed and shagged Mary from the local boozer round the back of the pub!

What is it with these posts? You want to make cheating illegal (!) and another person wants to abolish prisons all together?

the guy is a prick no doubt but FFS it’s just life.

What punishment would you recommend if it were made illegal? A fine? Doesn't sound like it would make the victim feel much better and wouldn't be much of a deterrent. Jail time? Seems far too strong a punishment for the crime - and where exactly are you going to put all these additional criminals?

It's a horrible thing to do to someone, but I cannot see any way it could be made illegal.

I would personally rather see watching video's on your phone without headphones a crime punishable by death rather than adultery

You can't legislate against everything.

How would you confirm and prove he'd cheated? That you were official and monogamous? Would you prosecute both if they knew he had a partner? What kind of punishment would make you feel better? Financial payments? Jail? Castration? And it's not only men who cheat. What if one person leaves so considers them broken up so gets with someone new 6 months later but they're not divorced?

Christ almighty, isn’t there enough evidence of the fucking nanny state as it is?
Some people are totally unable to navigate life without a team of support staff at their elbow.

I suppose you could take out a civil suit for infliction of emotional distress but I have absolutely no idea whether a lawyer would take it or the court system agree to hear it. You could sue for costs for therapy or missing work due to mental health reasons directly caused by the affair.

Making it flat out illegal wouldn't work at all. What about teenagers whose relationships last about 6 weeks on average? The police would be either completely tied up with all that drama or just refuse to touch the whole thing with a barge pole.

OP - grab yourself by the short and curlies, hold your head up high and move on!

Because men and women's prisons would be full to bursting point.

Because children would have to go and visit their mums and dads in prision.

Because essentially most of us don't want to live in a dictatorship.

It hurts being cheated on but relationships are not mandatory, so we choose to enter them at our own risk.