Page 6 | Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

GutsyShark · 09/02/2025 14:26

BestZebbie · 09/02/2025 14:18

I do think it makes a bit of a mockery of marriage as a legal contract if there is no potential 'breach of contract' or 'fraud' consequence in the case of adultery.

The traditional set-up in which a lot of weight is put on vows (which have no legal status) as being 'the wedding' rather than the signing of the register (which creates the inheritance, next of kin etc rights but doesn't comment on how many partners you can have other than that you can only have one current marriage at a time) muddies the waters of common perception in this regard, I think.

Divorce has massive financial consequences, it’s not like people get to just walk away from a marriage.

I’m in Scotland which I think has more sensible divorce law but there are still huge financial consequences to a divorce.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/02/2025 14:26

I'm in my late 60s now. Like a lot of people, I have been (back in my early 20s) in a relationship in which I was cheated on. It hurt, I learned lessons, I moved on.

Would I have gained anything from him being taken to court? Not in the least. Might it have stopped him cheating? I seriously doubt it, though if he were concerned, he'd just have dumped me. as it was, I dumped HIM, which was very satisfying indeed. I commend this course of action.

5128gap · 09/02/2025 14:27

Its a slippery slope. There are a range of behaviours that could fall under the definition of 'cheating'. Make it illegal for men to cheat on women and I guarantee its women who will pay the price when they are criminalised for any behaviour their partners consider inappropriate. Do you want to live in a country where a jealous husband not wanting you to have a drink with a male colleague could use the law to control you?

YikesItsLate · 09/02/2025 14:28

Miratea · 09/02/2025 13:17

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

I feel for you, currently going through similar, mine would never cheat, but appears to be lining someone up ready, under my nose, and she is flirting in front of me, quite blatantly.

Odd woman, who really should be ashamed of herself, I am for her, and for my situation, with a deluded creep to deal with.

Not sure if he is just flattered, seriously considering, already secretly chatting to her, or just stupid.

Brooomhilda · 09/02/2025 14:28

Because it's not a crime.

Newusernameforthiss · 09/02/2025 14:29

Lanzarotelady · 09/02/2025 13:28

I would personally rather see watching video's on your phone without headphones a crime punishable by death rather than adultery

Why not... Both? 😈

PeterPipper · 09/02/2025 14:29

Just musing here, but if cheating were to be made illegal, how would you define cheating? Would it have to be PIV? Or would oral sex count, or touching of breasts for example? Would kissing count? How would you differentiate between a full on snog and a peck on the cheek or a hug upon greeting a colleague for example?

Would your doctor nurse be afraid to do a smear test because she could be touching you illegally?

BTW, I don't think it should be made illegal.

TaggieO · 09/02/2025 14:30

The police and prosecution service aren’t able to secure convictions against most people who commit rape and assault. How exactly would you expect this to be policed?? Being cheated on hurts but it’s not a crime for someone to not love you enough.

sometimesmovingforwards · 09/02/2025 14:32

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/02/2025 14:10

Absolutely this.

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Agreed, some are just totally incapable specimens.

NovemberMorn · 09/02/2025 14:32

PeterPipper · 09/02/2025 14:29

Just musing here, but if cheating were to be made illegal, how would you define cheating? Would it have to be PIV? Or would oral sex count, or touching of breasts for example? Would kissing count? How would you differentiate between a full on snog and a peck on the cheek or a hug upon greeting a colleague for example?

Would your doctor nurse be afraid to do a smear test because she could be touching you illegally?

BTW, I don't think it should be made illegal.

"Would your doctor nurse be afraid to do a smear test because she could be touching you illegally?"

Some peoples minds work in very mysterious ways.🙄

onceuponatimelived · 09/02/2025 14:33

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 09/02/2025 14:16

What sort of punishment do you think is suitable? Stoning? Imprisonment?

Jesus Christ, MN is getting worse by the day!

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Imprisonment at the least. Then maybe women wouldn’t hate the patriarchy so much.

sugarandfudge · 09/02/2025 14:34

The courts and criminal system can barely keep up with their current load, and there's a lot they still don't get right. Even if we agree that cheating should be illegal, it's not a realistic goal. But besides that, you can't lower the threshold to that level. Some people are shitty and do shitty things. There should be (and often are) natural consequences for shitty behaviour in life, but the government doesn't need to get involved.

Anxious2024 · 09/02/2025 14:35

Definitely not a good idea and I would not like to live in a country where this was enshrined in law.

I think we lay too much store by others. Humans are flawed and fallible. Maybe it’s better to withhold some trust and keep ourselves independent enough to not be blindsided when/if someone cheats on us or betrays our trust in any other way.

MichaelandKirk · 09/02/2025 14:35

Surely YOU need to decide what you believe and don’t believe. It’s called life…

No one has forced you to be with this man. So why are you?

Please learn from this and move on.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/02/2025 14:36

@Miratea who the hell would you get to police that idea????

MoonWoman69 · 09/02/2025 14:36

@Miratea
I'm sorry to be harsh, but most of us have been involved in shit relationships and suffered heartbreak and upset at one time or another. But you move on, so why on earth can't you? This can't be your first relationship surely? Get over what's happened, dust yourself down and carry on!
Your post is quite batshit, the police and prosecution services have far better things to do than fine or jail people for cheating!
You come across as trusting too soon, sensitive and far too intense!

daysday · 09/02/2025 14:37

NovemberMorn · 09/02/2025 14:18

In some backward countries, women are still being stoned to death for adultery..
Can you find a case where a man has been stoned to death for cheating on his wife?

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The text applies to both genders.

https://www.loc.gov/item/global-legal-monitor/2009-06-22/iran-man-sentenced-to-be-stoned-to-death-for-adultery/

Iran: Man Sentenced to Be Stoned to Death for Adultery

(June 22, 2009) It was reported on May 8, 2009, that a 30-year-old man was sentenced to be stoned to death in Iran on the charge of adultery. Under Islamic law, expression of repentance by a person who has been convicted of committing adultery absolves...

https://www.loc.gov/item/global-legal-monitor/2009-06-22/iran-man-sentenced-to-be-stoned-to-death-for-adultery

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/02/2025 14:38

@Miratea surely it is often down to gullibility and believing the shit they tell you?

Riverswims · 09/02/2025 14:38

No one wants to listen to the Bible or holy books anymore and be stoned to death for that so it can’t be illegal 🤷🏽‍♀️ you want your taxes to go to the police investigating which consenting adult's had sex with which other consenting adult? yeah ok then 🙄

Glorybox2025 · 09/02/2025 14:39

Afghanistan is that way >>>>>

TriesNotToBeCynical · 09/02/2025 14:39

I think it is worth mentioning that if in the course of this short "relationship" the OP paid a significantly large sum of money to the man in question there might be a suspicion of some form of romance fraud. Which could be crime.

NotTerfNorCis · 09/02/2025 14:39

I have sympathy for the OP's position, but this tends to be the law in more conservative countries, and the reality is that women suffer worse under it. Even so, it feels like cheating should be punished in some way.

HelmholtzWatson · 09/02/2025 14:39

I don’t understand why these men do it

Women cheat almost as often as men. It's something like 1 in 5 men have admitted cheating during their marriage, compared to 1 in 7 women.

So, why is it apparently only wrong when men do it?

BadSil · 09/02/2025 14:40

PeterPipper · 09/02/2025 14:29

Just musing here, but if cheating were to be made illegal, how would you define cheating? Would it have to be PIV? Or would oral sex count, or touching of breasts for example? Would kissing count? How would you differentiate between a full on snog and a peck on the cheek or a hug upon greeting a colleague for example?

Would your doctor nurse be afraid to do a smear test because she could be touching you illegally?

BTW, I don't think it should be made illegal.

Would obviously have to be defined beyond the heteronormative PIV...otherwise gays and lesbians could never be accused of cheating!

Notoironing · 09/02/2025 14:41

It happened to me, by my ex husband of 8 years. I understand why you would ask this as it causes permanent emotional damage and when it’s fresh it really is a physical pain you feel. Not a solution to make it illegal however I do think there should be some reflection of this in financial element of divorce proceedings. Would probably be a nightmare for agreement though.