Why is it not illegal to cheat on someone

[Miratea]

I don’t want to give too many details. I found it pretty traumatising to be lied to. The person went on about how great of a person they were and how they weren’t like other guys. They acted like they cared about me and would be supportive of me. They were exactly like the “other guys” they described, they were a cheat with a number of others waiting in line, got with someone new every 5-6 months and I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be. I found it really traumatising and have trust issues because of it. They really rushed things and then moved on and I never saw them again. They turned on me and started being really nasty towards me. It feels like emotional whiplash. I know it wasn’t my fault but I don’t understand why these men do it

What’s the point of doing anything, then changing your mind? It’s human nature.

Relationships are far too complicated for the law to get involved. And yes, we might as well live in Iran if these ideas pervade. I mean, some people practice polyamory, or have FWB. How can we police all these different kinds of relationships effectively?

First of all you’d have to define adultery. If it’s sex with someone else, short of filming it how do you prove it?

And this is an even more insane idea than the OP, why does the reason you are splitting up matter?

I agree that being cheated on or love bombed and then dumped can be very upsetting. Yes, the person lying is a nasty fucker but there is no realistic legal remedy that would work.

The only thing you can do is raise your daughters with high self esteem to hopefully put off these disgusting men and bear in mind red flags such a love bombing. Also build resilience and live your life to not be 100 per cent emotionally dependant on one person. Especially after a short period of time.

So not only should cheating be a criminal offence now but one party shouldn't be allowed to LEAVE the other if they fancy someone else?

You were born in the wrong millennium.

Op He has done you a big favour, though you won’t see it now. You can learn a big lesson an how not to trust so fully too early and protect your heart. You could have learned this in an abusive, controlling marriage and your finances wrecked or you life or health out in danger. There could also have been children that he. Dumped and did not support. Most of us have experienced this. He is not worth it and in a while you will be glad and find someone worth of you. Good luck op

🤯

No, no, no.

You'd have to take in to account ALL behaviour by both parties on that basis. Ridiculous.

Jeez, threads like this do indeed serve as a gentle reminder that some people are just weird and bonkers and seem unable to manage daily life without thinking anything they find difficult to manage should involve entire societal reform as the practical solution.

They walk amongst us 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP,
You sound very young, like it was your first serious relationship, and that one always hurts when it goes wrong.

You’re hurting so you're not thinking rationally.

Perhaps the punishment can be getting stoned to death, that exists in some countries still OP.

I too have been very badly affected by relationships, so much so that I have permanently given up on them, but never once has such a ridiculous notion as making it illegal entered my head. What a slippery slope you want.

It is in some places. Are you able to move?

Yessss 🤣

Because we don’t live under Sharia law? 😂

Where do you draw the line at this? At the end of the day, you are not being held against your will. You can end things and move on. You have a choice about what you will and won’t put up with.

Sounds as if iou need a bit more life experience OP. It happens. It hurts like a hell for a bit and then you move on.
Dwelling on retribution will just slow down the healing process for you.

That’s absolutely bloody ridiculous! Give your head a wobble, as they say on MN.

Absurd thought process. There are all sorts of reasons why someone cheats. The one being cheated on is not necessarily an innocent, they could be abusive. I speak as someone who has never cheated on another person so not trying to justify my own behaviour.

Some people are incapable of rational, critical thought. 🙄

This is the part of your post that struck me.

I was nothing special like they’d made me out to be

Part of your emotional devastation is perhaps coming from the possibility that you believe you only have value if someone else says so.

YOU should know your value. At it should remain at the same level whether someone else sees it or not.

But to answer your question - no cheating can not be and should not be made illegal. We can not own other humans.

Absolutely this.

Only women are stoned to death for cheating...so maybe that idea can be skipped.

Unlike in the Reformation Era, we’ve unpacked the difference between a sin and a crime.

You can't do anything about what other people do but you can choose about the way you do things.

I presume this was a partner? He hadn't made any formal commitment to you so in one sense it is not surprising he cheated. Yes I know married people cheat as well but it is a lot easier pre marriage as there are often no consequences.

How would you prove your emotional distress OP?

You need to toughen up and acquire some resilience.

There's allways 2 sides to a relationship breakup and it would be a "he said this" and "she said this" argument which neither party could usually prove. It would never work out.

Wrong - both parties are. It is actually impossible to textually carry this out as four witnesses are needed who actually saw the act of penetration.