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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think family should wait for us to order

252 replies

CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:24

I am away for 2 nights in a hotel with my 2 sisters and our families to celebrate my oldest sisters birthday. I am the youngest sister. My older sisters are very close and I often feel a little left out with my sisters. Anyway we had a meal booked for 6.30 in the hotel restaurant last night. My kids wanted to go for a swim so we did that before the meal. My sisters and their families went for a drink in the bar. Anyway at 6.15 my sister texts me to ask were we coming for the meal. We were just getting dressed after the swim so I replied yes, we will be there at 6.30. We arrived at 6.30 and they were already seated and had ordered their food. So it ended up that they were eating their food and were completely finished by the time our food arrived. My kids had to sit and watch their cousins eat and it just made me very uncomfortable. My nephew told my kids that they were late (we were perfectly on time for the booking). If we had known sisters were going early we could have spent less time in the pool. AIBU to be upset about this? I obviously didn't say anything to my sisters as I didn't want to argue on my sisters birthday but it's just another time where my sisters have made me feel bad about myself.

OP posts:
Cattery · 08/02/2025 16:26

Rude. Wait until everyone is there before you order. Plot up in the bar for a while

MidnightPatrol · 08/02/2025 16:28

How old are the children?

Zanatdy · 08/02/2025 16:29

Really rude behaviour on your sister’s part, who even does that? Unless it was confirmed someone wasn’t coming, you wait. Even if late (which you weren’t)

Original poster
CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:29

My kids are 6, 8 and 10. Their cousins are slightly older.

OP posts:
PiastriThePastry · 08/02/2025 16:29

I suppose the aim is to arrive slightly before the booked time, but honestly they were being awkward for the sake of being awkward. If you genuinely were there at 6:30 and not late at all, then yes, theyWBU.
As a wider point, if they make you feel shit, stop spending time with them.

KezzaMucklowe · 08/02/2025 16:31

It's rude isn't it.
As long as you would have been there on time they could have waited

Onlyvisiting · 08/02/2025 16:31

Sounds like they thought the table was booked for 6? Did you not say/check the booking time when they said you were late?

Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:31

If the meal was booked for 6.30 surely you'd meet them in the bar at 6.15ish, the fact they had to text you and ask you if you were coming to me seems like you have form for being late or for not turning up?
But yes once they knew were coming they should have waited for you, but I wouldn't have turned up at 6.30 for a meal

HeddaGarbled · 08/02/2025 16:32

I disagree. It’s your sister’s birthday and the table is booked for 6.30. Turning up on the dot of 6.30 rather than joining them in the bar beforehand isn’t nice. Different if you’d been delayed through no fault of your own but you made a deliberate decision to take it right to the wire. That sends a message.

Maboscelar · 08/02/2025 16:32

Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:31

If the meal was booked for 6.30 surely you'd meet them in the bar at 6.15ish, the fact they had to text you and ask you if you were coming to me seems like you have form for being late or for not turning up?
But yes once they knew were coming they should have waited for you, but I wouldn't have turned up at 6.30 for a meal

If the booking is 6.30 then you arrive at 6.30! That's not late, that's when you all go in and sit down. Together.

YANBU OP they were really rude.

Sirzy · 08/02/2025 16:32

Had there been a discussion about what time and where to meet?

Original poster
CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:33

PiastriThePastry · 08/02/2025 16:29

I suppose the aim is to arrive slightly before the booked time, but honestly they were being awkward for the sake of being awkward. If you genuinely were there at 6:30 and not late at all, then yes, theyWBU.
As a wider point, if they make you feel shit, stop spending time with them.

We were there at 6.30 on the button.
I think they arrived at 6.15.
I normally would arrive at a restaurant at the booked time, should I be arriving early?

OP posts:
User67556 · 08/02/2025 16:33

HeddaGarbled · 08/02/2025 16:32

I disagree. It’s your sister’s birthday and the table is booked for 6.30. Turning up on the dot of 6.30 rather than joining them in the bar beforehand isn’t nice. Different if you’d been delayed through no fault of your own but you made a deliberate decision to take it right to the wire. That sends a message.

I agree with this

Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:33

User67556 · 08/02/2025 16:33

I agree with this

Show quote history

So do I

KezzaMucklowe · 08/02/2025 16:34

Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:31

If the meal was booked for 6.30 surely you'd meet them in the bar at 6.15ish, the fact they had to text you and ask you if you were coming to me seems like you have form for being late or for not turning up?
But yes once they knew were coming they should have waited for you, but I wouldn't have turned up at 6.30 for a meal

Confused Or you just meet at the arranged time which is 6.30. It's only 15 minutes. So ride to ho ahead and order.
Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:34

CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:33

We were there at 6.30 on the button.
I think they arrived at 6.15.
I normally would arrive at a restaurant at the booked time, should I be arriving early?

Show quote history

On this occasion yes, and to be fair if the table is booked at 6.30, I would always be there at 6.15 to take my coat off, have a wee, get a drink
You were rude

KezzaMucklowe · 08/02/2025 16:35

CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:33

We were there at 6.30 on the button.
I think they arrived at 6.15.
I normally would arrive at a restaurant at the booked time, should I be arriving early?

Show quote history

No.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/02/2025 16:36

Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:31

If the meal was booked for 6.30 surely you'd meet them in the bar at 6.15ish, the fact they had to text you and ask you if you were coming to me seems like you have form for being late or for not turning up?
But yes once they knew were coming they should have waited for you, but I wouldn't have turned up at 6.30 for a meal

Why wouldn’t you turn up at 6:30 if that’s when the meal is booked for? If they wanted to meet in the bar before then surely they should have mentioned that and OP would no doubt have been there at the prearranged time.

PiastriThePastry · 08/02/2025 16:36

CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:33

We were there at 6.30 on the button.
I think they arrived at 6.15.
I normally would arrive at a restaurant at the booked time, should I be arriving early?

Show quote history

Personally I tend to aim for 10/15 minutes beforehand, just to allow time to say hello, get settled, get a drink etc. I don’t think you were rude or really in the wrong but that’s just what I’m used to I guess!

Anonymous2003 · 08/02/2025 16:38

YANBU this is really rude behaviour

Original poster
CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:38

Thanks for the replies, it's good to get different perspectives.
The restaurant is in the hotel we are staying in so a 1 minute walk from our room. We didn't need coats etc
My sister sent a message to say restaurant booked for 6.30 earlier in the day. She did not mention going for a drink in the bar.

OP posts:
kaela100 · 08/02/2025 16:40

Yes they were rude. Do it to them next time

KezzaMucklowe · 08/02/2025 16:43

Even if some people do get there early which is fine do that , it's obviously not something everyone does . If you wanted to meet early you'd say drinks at the bar st 6.15 sit down at 6.30
However, its no excuse to order early, even if it is your birthday.
I'm a stickler for time keeping but wouldn't dream of this.

Original poster
CatherineRose16 · 08/02/2025 16:45

HeddaGarbled · 08/02/2025 16:32

I disagree. It’s your sister’s birthday and the table is booked for 6.30. Turning up on the dot of 6.30 rather than joining them in the bar beforehand isn’t nice. Different if you’d been delayed through no fault of your own but you made a deliberate decision to take it right to the wire. That sends a message.

Thanks, I did not know they were going to the bar.
I am quite a literal person so 6.30 to me means arrive at 6.30.
In hindsight it probably would have been better to arrive early.

OP posts:
Lanzarotelady · 08/02/2025 16:45

I would just presume, if you're all staying in a hotel, meet for a quick drink first.