AIBU to think family should wait for us to order

[CatherineRose16]

I am away for 2 nights in a hotel with my 2 sisters and our families to celebrate my oldest sisters birthday. I am the youngest sister. My older sisters are very close and I often feel a little left out with my sisters. Anyway we had a meal booked for 6.30 in the hotel restaurant last night. My kids wanted to go for a swim so we did that before the meal. My sisters and their families went for a drink in the bar. Anyway at 6.15 my sister texts me to ask were we coming for the meal. We were just getting dressed after the swim so I replied yes, we will be there at 6.30. We arrived at 6.30 and they were already seated and had ordered their food. So it ended up that they were eating their food and were completely finished by the time our food arrived. My kids had to sit and watch their cousins eat and it just made me very uncomfortable. My nephew told my kids that they were late (we were perfectly on time for the booking). If we had known sisters were going early we could have spent less time in the pool. AIBU to be upset about this? I obviously didn't say anything to my sisters as I didn't want to argue on my sisters birthday but it's just another time where my sisters have made me feel bad about myself.

Ha ha

What bollocks

I reckon the time to turn up for a 6.30 booking is 6.25.

So they were ten mins early, you were 5 mins late. They were worse.

They were then more worse (whoops) by ordering before you got there. If they're starving then you get olives and flat breads or whatever whilst you wait for everyone.

I'm surprised though that there was such a disparity in eating time though if you only ordered 15 mins apart. I'm surprised the restaurant didn't even it out themselves.

Every family meal out I've ever had, if we have a table booked at X time, we... meet at X time. If someone specifically wanted drinks beforehand, we'd agree drinks in the bar at X-30, meal at X.

Also, OP has young kids and it's hard enough to keep them corralled and behaving nicely through a long family dinner without adding on extra bar time beforehand. Tiring them out by swimming beforehand sounds entirely sensible to me.

I think it's rude. Surely the staff would have realised there were more people to arrive (by the empty seats at the table). Usually in this situation a waiter/waitress will take a drinks order for those who have arrived and then take the food order when all are there.
It was an arranged meal, not a drop in situation so I don't know why they were so impatient about ordering ahead of you.

Yes it was booked for 6.30.

Quite surprised by these answers. If a table is booked for 6:30 you turn up at 6:30. Unless you agree with everyone “the table is booked for 6:30 but let’s meet at 6 to have a drink beforehand”. They were really rude.

Yes really rude of them. I would not continue to spend time with people who behaved this way.

If you had all agreed on 6.30 pm then they were rude to order and start before you,, however if we had a table booked for 6.30pm we would aim to be there for 6.20pm.

Why would you feel bad about yourself? You know you did nothing wrong. They know you did nothing wrong. I would have quite clearly responded to your nephew, that you weren't late and that it was prearranged to meet at 6:30pm and no one had let me know that the times had changed so that's why you cam eon time for 6:30pm.

They were the rude ones. They knew you'd be there at 6.30. They could have just ordered a drink and had a look at the menu if they'd been seated early (which obviously they were)

What on earth for? They were in the same hotel, it's not like they were going to get stuck in traffic, so all that would do is annoy the restaurant staff who are expecting you at 6:30.

Yes, there's nothing wrong with ordering drinks or maybe nibbles straightaway; but when it comes to the actual meals, you look at what you want to order and then, when everybody is there, you all order.

Only if somebody turns up considerably later than agreed can they not really be upset if the others go ahead and order meals without them.

That's not a rule. If they wanted to meet at 6:15 they should simply have say so, and I don't believe for a minute that they just happened to get there at the same time with all their kids just by chance. They has discussed it before hand, and didn't tell you.

Arriving 15 min before your booking in most restaurants would be completely stupid, they would just ask you to wait outside.

Yes, I am not sure exactly what time they ordered but we probably ordered 10 minutes after we arrived at 6.40. Their food arrived very quickly after we ordered. I'm not sure when our food arrived, probably around 7 but they were all definitely finished eating. We didn't have starters.

It also seems quite intentional. It's not usual that you all sit down for your meal order and have you food arrive within in 15 minutes. They certainly weren't hanging around to give you a minute to get there.

If you are going to meet them again for anything, I would stress "are we actually meeting at 6:30pm this time or are you meeting earlier again?"

6:30 is 6:30. There is no chance of me arriving there ‘15 min early for a chit chat and hanging my coat’ lol 😂
and what? Would I be standing next to the table where previous booking still might be finishing their food? Your sisters don’t like you.

Those saying they'd turn up early for a table booking, would you also then go on and order before everyone had arrived?

If you say you would then I call bull shit

@Lanzarotelady you really are making huge assumptions here !
I actually think it’s rude to arrive to early,make previous diners uncomfortable standing around waiting,staff will be hassled etc
Likewise I would be annoyed if guests arrived early and I was hosting!

That was so rude of them.

YANBU. It is rude to order first before everyone gets there especially as you weren't late. Don't most people order a drink first while deciding if had they been perusing the menu in the bar first. She should have said they were meeting at the bar at 6.15. If they commonly exclude you I would not bother with them going forward. Your nephew was out of order telling your kids they were late. Maybe your sisters kids were pestering them to order food. Hope tonight goes better

This is reminding me of the other recent thread, about people who always arrive considerably earlier than the agreed time - even when it's to somebody's own home.

Beginning a joint activity before the agreed time is very rude; it's very self-centred to arbitrarily change an agreed meeting time - whether earlier or later by more than a few minutes - and then blame the others who did keep to the agreed time for 'keeping you waiting'.

If they arrived 15 minutes before you, how on earth could they have finished their food before your food even appeared?

Really bad form on their part. Even if you were late it's manners to wait before ordering. For a few minutes at least. If it's a social thing to meet 15 minutes before booking time that's certainly news to me, 6 30 booking means 6 30.

The only time you were given was 6.30. You tuned up at 6.30. You're not the rude ones here.

The bar is separate to the restaurant, so I think they went to the bar maybe at 5.30, had a drink and then finished the drink around 6.10 so decided to try the restaurant rather than have another drink. I am not sure of timings, I didn't really want to get into it with them.