AIBU to think family should wait for us to order

[CatherineRose16]

I am away for 2 nights in a hotel with my 2 sisters and our families to celebrate my oldest sisters birthday. I am the youngest sister. My older sisters are very close and I often feel a little left out with my sisters. Anyway we had a meal booked for 6.30 in the hotel restaurant last night. My kids wanted to go for a swim so we did that before the meal. My sisters and their families went for a drink in the bar. Anyway at 6.15 my sister texts me to ask were we coming for the meal. We were just getting dressed after the swim so I replied yes, we will be there at 6.30. We arrived at 6.30 and they were already seated and had ordered their food. So it ended up that they were eating their food and were completely finished by the time our food arrived. My kids had to sit and watch their cousins eat and it just made me very uncomfortable. My nephew told my kids that they were late (we were perfectly on time for the booking). If we had known sisters were going early we could have spent less time in the pool. AIBU to be upset about this? I obviously didn't say anything to my sisters as I didn't want to argue on my sisters birthday but it's just another time where my sisters have made me feel bad about myself.

Disagree completely. In rl no one would think this is rude.
It's only on MN thst anyone would say this because it's AIBU and you've probably got nothing better to do.

Yes, they were incredibly rude.

YANBU to be upset, or cross with them.

YABU to not say anything to them.

I have got 100 things I could be doing! But thank you.

Yes in real life people get there early so say hi, to make small talk, to get a drink. The OP was rude, she went swimming instead, the fact they had to text her doesn't bode well, she obviously
has form

I didn't really think of going to the bar tbh and my kids really wanted to use the pool.
I probably should have been more thoughtful.

Why are people calling the op rude for not arriving early somewhere? If I arrange to meet people at a time, I don't expect to have to be there before that time. She wasn't even invited to drinks at the bar beforehand, so how should she have known to do that? Bizarre comments here!

But it’s very rude to text chasing someone up when they weren’t actually late!

This is the issue, the fact they had to text you to ask where you were, you must have form for being late. Get there early, get a drink, look at the menu.

I actually don't have form for being late/not turning up.

Or they have history of being late and keeping others waiting

Ridiculous. If the sister had wanted OP to join her for drinks beforehand, what was to stop her saying “Booked table for 6.30 - fancy a drink in the bar first?”? Then OP can either plan to be there for 6, or say that the kids want to go for a swim, so she’ll see them in the restaurant at 6.30.

You know - like normal adults.

I would have arrived a little earlier than that but its rude that they couldn’t wait.

You’re just making stuff up now.

They were rude. It would have cost them nothing to wait for you to wait for you and order when you arrived.

Yanbu, your sisters sound mean x

You keep saying they “had” to text her. They didn’t. She wasn’t late!

I don't think they did it to be deliberately mean. They probably didn't really think about how it would make me feel. I tend to take things very personally.

As you were on time they should have waited for you. They were rather rude.

I wouldn't be so bothered though as to get worked up about it. Don't let it spoil your break.

Just because you presume something, doesn't mean it's correct. I am really surprised that anyone thinks OP is in the wrong. She would be in the wrong if she had turned up at 6.45, but she didn't. She was on time. The sisters were very rude, and it sounds as if OP's nephews were rude as well (although no doubt they've learned that from their mum)

Is this like tipping - where a clear price or meeting time is given, but you're supposed to know that they actually wanted more money or to meet at an earlier time - and you're rude for not having known that they meant B (or C, or D...) when they said A?

Unless if was McDonald's or somewhere similar, if they had already ordered and received their meals, they must have got there closer to 6pm - so not even just a case of arriving 'ready' 5 minutes early.

It's a simple formula: if you want to meet somebody at X time, tell them X time. By that reckoning, OP could have turned up at 5:30 and then berated her sister for being 'late' if she 'only' arrived for the agreed 6:30 meeting time at 6!

Thanks, yes I do tend to overthink things. I often feel like there are rules I don't know about and I mess up. Like the restaurant was booked for 6.30, I did not know I should have arrived at 6.15.

How on earth was OP rude 😂

Her family arrived early, ordered food without her and ate while she and her children watched.

You can't really get much ruder than that.

Very rude and not very sociable for anyone! At a push I might order a drink whilst waiting but I wouldn’t even look at menu until all guests are seated.

Arriving at 6.30 was absolutely fine and normal.

No, you didn't need to turn up at 6:15 at all.

If a table was booked for a certain time (I don't know if you had to book here) and you turned up 15 minutes early, most busy restaurants wouldn't thank you and would shuffle you off to the bar until your actual booked time.