What do you have no bandwidth for

[ToxicFrenemy]

Having caught up with women's hour from the other day there was a chat about what fo you no longer have the bandwidth for. What are you now no longer doing, to keep yourself sane! Eg not making everyone's beds or picking up socks whatever

Anyway as it was an old one now, I couldn't text in but found that really interesting so wanted to ask "what do you no longer have the bandwidth for..."

I'll go first!!!! 2022 dh and I gave far too much of ourselves to friends who were going through a hard time, they seperated and it was awful They both needed alot of emotional support it was constant. We were supporting on both camps. Our marriage suffered with the emotional strain. And I get divorce is HARD but it nearly brought us to divorce and so we now no longer have the bandwidth to overly emotionally support others in that way outwith our marriage

Aibu? Or what's your own bandwidth boundaries

Regular weeknight commitments

I no longer have bandwidth for people who have no interest in helping themselves, but just prefer to moan about things in their life without looking for solutions to change them.

People treating me like shit. I try to always respond to an insulting comment

@ThatWordDoesNotMeanWhatYouThinkItMeans

I hear you! Used to drive me mad!

Several years ago there was a recommendation from an enraged wife (based on her having done it) to perfectly iron the shirts, cut the sleeves short and put them back in the wardrobe!

People that bore on about themselves all the time and show no interest in others
People that bore on about their dogs like they are people
Showing an interest in a baby or toddler that I don’t know - been there, done that, next!
Sexist pricks

I second the wittering twats, but they are everywhere not just on Radio 2.

TV
Crap parkers
Tailgaters. If I ever see the unbelievable bell end that nearly drove me off the road I may get a mugshot in the paper for punching him.
Virtue signallers

I have no time for lady called Sarah. She spent a good year of my life 10 years ago being absolutely hateful. Unfortunately, Sarah is also in a few groups that I’m in too (she has recently rejoined).
My favourite group unfortunately is no longer able to come to my house because I just won’t have Sarah in it.

Other people's opinions of me

This no fucks given any more

Pairing socks - they just go in a box and me and the kids grab 2 in the morning and hope they match.

Ironing - have ironed maybe 2 or 3 times in the last 8 years (since children came along!)

Mowing the lawn - pay a local guy to mow it once a month now.

Dusting - get the kids to do it.

Be flowery in emails in case I offend people. Now I am probably quite blunt but very succinct and get twice as much done.

Trying to facilitate a relationship between my kids and their dad - it's up to him to put the effort in.

Changing plans for other people - no, sorry, I'm busy that day, I have errands, I have plans, I have told the kids we will do X....

Love love this. I'm taking this as inspiration!

Has to be done x

What's the point of replacing the correct word 'time' with the incorrect word 'bandwidth'?

Why? Why would you do that?

People like that is who I have no TIME for.

Saying you have no "time" for something is a metaphor in itself. We all have time for all sorts of things. Bandwidth is a metaphor for the things you could make time for but don't have the mental or emotional capacity to be arsed dealing with it.

I think bandwidth means headspace more than it means time.

I have 'time' to listen to Radio 4 whilst I'm washing up but my head just doesn't want to listen to the depressing serious droning on anymore.
I have 'time' to pair socks but I seriously can't be arsed.

etc etc etc

My youngest sister. She is maybe neurodiverse , but maybe not, she's selfish, behaved appalingly at Christmas with our elderly parents, who have a lot of health stuff going on. Middle sister and I called her out on it afterwards and now she's not talking to either of us. Which is fine with us. It's been going on for years, and we cracked.

Our street WhatsApp group. One busy man is dominating with stuff that can't be fixed

Hmrc, But I still need to call them tomorrow, just give me the money you owe me.

I know it's good for me but - eating salad. Chomp chomp chomp argh - so boring.

Colleagues who spend 90% of their shift chatting shite about others, gossiping about others time keeping/sickness days etc... just why?

Because often the ones that moan are the ones that cover for sicknote Annie's

Voluntary work that took up my whole weekend every second weekend. 140 mile round trip, expensive specialist outdoor safety gear and no remuneration. Did that for 20 years, it stopped during lockdown and when it started up again I realised life was better without it. I can watch motorbike racing on TV without the stress of running/assisting with the event.

Ironing, gave that up 20 years ago unless DH needs a shirt for a funeral.

Small talk.
Working full time
Needy people
A surprising amount of social engagements

So this came from women's hour. And I believe from the name of a comidienes upcoming show....https://www.offthekerb.com/news/kerry-godlimans-bandwidth-2025-uk-tour-announced/#:~:text=Actor%2C%20writer%2C%20podcaster%2C%20broadcaster,running%20sitcom%20in%20her%20head.

Bandwidth is absolutely the correct word. I have time to do things, but I do not have the bandwidth.

For me, just from yesterday it’s a hen weekend. No I don’t want to spend £250 being away from my son for 3 days, drinking with ladies I don’t know. Feck off. So I’ve said no, and I shall say no forever more, not that I anticipate many more weddings coming up.

Also, men.

One of the first posters said her parents and her mother slagging off her father. Same for me, I just can’t take it on any more.

Work.

Miserable people.

Men.

The news.

Colleagues who video call without warning.

I have a colleague who has a lot of anxiety and overthinks absolutely everything in his job.

Every interaction we have with a client or boss prompts the need for a long debrief afterwards. I find it to be massive drain on my time and emotionally depleting.

@TemporaryPosition
I thought only Scottish people said 'outwith' - seems not!
do you think that should be a hard rule? odd comment
I have little bandwidth for those ignorant of anywhere other than where they live.