What do you have no bandwidth for

[ToxicFrenemy]

Having caught up with women's hour from the other day there was a chat about what fo you no longer have the bandwidth for. What are you now no longer doing, to keep yourself sane! Eg not making everyone's beds or picking up socks whatever

Anyway as it was an old one now, I couldn't text in but found that really interesting so wanted to ask "what do you no longer have the bandwidth for..."

I'll go first!!!! 2022 dh and I gave far too much of ourselves to friends who were going through a hard time, they seperated and it was awful They both needed alot of emotional support it was constant. We were supporting on both camps. Our marriage suffered with the emotional strain. And I get divorce is HARD but it nearly brought us to divorce and so we now no longer have the bandwidth to overly emotionally support others in that way outwith our marriage

Aibu? Or what's your own bandwidth boundaries

People with health anxiety who wont go to the doctor but just go on and on about their ailments.

Dinner parties. What is the point. I have no interest in meeting new people or small talk. Luckily nobody seems to have them anymore. A meal with good friends is always lovely though.

You must drink 8 glasses of Water - it’s hideous I don’t like it, it tastes like crap.

people who run off the the doctor every five minutes or got to a&e for something which is neither an accident or an emergency.

Clothes that match - it fits which is more than a lot of people can say

answering machine messages - it’s not the 80’s fgs send an email.

work socialising - just no - I’m nice to you because it’s work and if I punch you in the face I get fired - I do not want to go out to eat with you on my own dime and my own time.

I’m coming up to 50 there’s bound to be more

While I’m at it, I also have no bandwidth for parties

Radio 4 - ironically

Radio but specifically Amanda Holden on heart breakfast I listen to pod casts about serial killers to avoid her - if you are here Amanda sorry bout that

I have zero time for people who complain about the younger generation. Or the older generation, for that matter. Have a bit of compassion! We have all been there or will be there one day, we don't need to pile fabricated/generalised age division on top of gender/race/class division. To me, calling young people snowflakes or woke or entitled signals a lack of intelligence, imagination and empathy for their circumstances.

Neither can I tolerate litterbugs, people who are racist, sexist, homophobic or transphobic, people who make a big fuss about not liking dogs, people who accept lifts but never offer them, people who are happy to split the bill when they have had loads of wine but pay itemised when not drinking...and people who are liberal in their criticism but stingy with praise.

SAME

I'm 60, running a foul, streaming cold and I've got a chapter of my PhD to sort out. At the moment, I haven't the bandwidth for anything or anyone beyond my cats, my DH and my lovely supervisor, bless her. I like "bandwidth" and use it a lot. It implies time, energy and f*s to give or shortage thereof.

Thank you - was just about to double check this was what it meant! Twice in one week I’ve had to ask the meaning of something on here (negging was the other one).

People who 'can't cope', by which they mean 'I don't want to, you do it.' I don't want to do your shit, I get on and do my shit. It feels like being punished for being able to deal with normal life - 'oh, you're capable, here have some of the tedious, annoying crap that I don't fancy.' I don't mean the occasional moment of crisis - I'm a normally empathetic person and will pitch in. I mean the intentionally helpless, throw-my-hands-up and let someone else do it because I can't be arsed.

Maybe I should just start being one of life's non-copers. Seems like a nice easy ride.

Accommodating other people’s food preferences.

If im the one spending the time and energy planning/shopping for food then I’m cooking a meal I want. If you don’t want some then make yourself something else.

(dc are 20 and 21 and are more than capable)

🥱

Lorraine Kelly.
People with health anxiety (particularly when I’m stage 4 cancer)
People with no common sense (like recent poster who received paperwork for a house sale by accident and had to create a pay to ask what to do with it)
People whose dogs have no recall and they continue to let them off their leads
hmm guessing just people in general actually ( which is why my friendship group is small but all the best things come in small packages)

At the moment, my job 😬

At the moment my colleagues. Everyone is so busy but one team member has become very directive telling us what to do.. just go away please

...... And yet these people do zilch to improve their health/change their bad habits/ try to help themselves

Totally agree ⬆️

I know one

Voice notes and „how to“ videos - I can read faster than other people speak, just give the info in written form and stop droning on.

Boring small talk
Can't bear it

Oh yeah and ice breakers or fun facts.

Seems like a fairly normal loving and involved relationship with the child to me! Am just amazed (envious) at the chess/scrabble part, thought most teens would be more interested in their devices...Mine won't even do family movie nights any more, says he doesn't want to 'waste his screentime' and would rather watch things on his phone!

I don't interpret it as just time though.
For me bandwidth means time and also head space!

I utterly loathe cooking and gave up years ago.

Thank goodness for toast

Most of the wittering twats on Radio 2 apart from Tony Blackburn, Dermot O'Leary and Bob Harris. Used to listen to it practically all day.
Similarly, Radcliffe and Maconie on 6 Music. Talking crap about crisps, and sneering at popular music.

Working for a company. Thankfully I am self-employed now and never, ever have to listen to corporate bullshit again.

Drinking culture.