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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

614 replies

Homeymum2 · 04/02/2025 16:35

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/02/2025 16:36

She can demand all she wants. Whether you give in or not to her demands is up to you.

Quinlan · 04/02/2025 16:37

Maybe I’m a bit weird but surely there is chocolate available in the house? I mean, not loads but it’s a pretty normal thing to have in the snacky box for when someone fancies a treat snack.
Just buy some chocolate?

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 16:37

FGS OP it’s chocolate not crack cocaine. Why won’t you buy her any?

UninterestingFirstPost · 04/02/2025 16:37

Would you buy yourself a bar of chocolate in that situation? I don’t see why you wouldn’t if she wants it. Fair enough that she should ask you politely, though

SpringBunnyHopHop · 04/02/2025 16:37

At 14 she’s old enough to decide what she wants to eat.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 04/02/2025 16:37

Don't be so miserable and buy her some chocolate.

Swellbowler23 · 04/02/2025 16:38

I always fancy a little bit of chocolate when I'm on. I only have boys but if I had girls I think I'd buy them the odd treat. Periods suck. That said, there's a way to ask nicely and if she's being rude in her requests then I have to speak about that!

TheSmallAssassin · 04/02/2025 16:38

I'd ask her who she thinks buys you chocolate and pampers you when you are on your period?

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 04/02/2025 16:38

Chocolates and pampering?! 😂 No, YANBU.

Yawningisinfectious · 04/02/2025 16:38

Well dark chocolate is known to help with menstrual pain so she has a point in wanting to eat it then.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 04/02/2025 16:38

I agree with PP, surely there is some form of chocolate already in the house? If not I can't see why she can't be bought some. No need to 'pamper' her though.

Neveragain35 · 04/02/2025 16:39

I wouldn’t say they ‘demand’ it but I do tend to get a big bar of dairy milk in when the girls in the house are due on- me included! As PP said, there is generally chocolate around anyway, or I will get them some with the shop if they ask for something specific.

Yotoyoto · 04/02/2025 16:39

“Pampering” absolutely not. Appropriate care and attention, just like any day, then of course. It’s a normal part of life, don’t make it into an event that needs to be pitied and mitigated. If she has medical issues like excessive pain or heaviness, then deal with those appropriately.

WhereAreWeNow · 04/02/2025 16:39

Are you quite strict on chocolate in general? We're a house of chocoholics and we generally have chocolate in the cupboard. I've always eaten more chocolate around my period and happy for DD to do the same. I know it's not healthy but we generally eat well and we are slim so I feel it's fine to enjoy a treat.

passtherichteas · 04/02/2025 16:40

Just get her some choc. Periods suck. I always fancy choc when on my period. Why wouldn't you?

Scentsitive · 04/02/2025 16:41

I think I'd give her an allowance and she could get her chocolates out of that. But if my daughter was suffering and didn't have any to hand and it was convenient then yes, I'd get her some. It certainly helps me!

Quinlan · 04/02/2025 16:41

She must have her own money at 14 too. Is she allowed to buy chocolate or do you control that as well?

It’s all a bit odd. At 14, why isn’t she allowed chocolate? Why has she even had to ask more than once that you get some in the weekly shop?

OnyourbarksGSG · 04/02/2025 16:42

My dd is 16 and had terrible periods. I always buy her a few treats to get her through it. She typical gets a few standard bars of chocolates, some crusts and a new coffee for her machine or some hot chocolate. She gets a pass on dishes on day 2-3 aswell. But she really struggled due to PCOS and tbh my mum was absolutely brutal and a bit of a twat so I don’t mind at all.

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 04/02/2025 16:42

When my dds are on their periods they get a bunch of chocolate, hot water bottles and painkillers and sympathy because periods are miserable and if I can do anything to make them feel better than I will. Just like I look after them any time they are ill or in pain.

What harm would it do to give her some chocolate?

cestlavielife · 04/02/2025 16:43

Give her enough allowance so she can buy the chocolate she wants

GiddyRobin · 04/02/2025 16:43

Well, there's no need for pampering but what's wrong with some chocolate? When I was that age, my dad used to get me dark chocolate and jasmine tea. DH now immediately goes out to grab chocolate and a few boxes of herbal tea when he knows I'm due on. He cooks nice meals or gets picnic style food in, runs me baths, etc. 🤷‍♀️ Cheers me up from horrible cramps and I feel loved.

By pampering does she just mean this? I wouldn't call it pampering. It's just a few things spread out to take my mind off it. I've never demanded it though. Maybe she's just feeling crap and wants a bit of sympathy? Periods are fucking shit, especially at that age.

custardpyjamas · 04/02/2025 16:43

If she's feeling a bit off when she's on her period and wants to be cheered up a bit, why not, assuming it's not meant to be a huge box of expensive chocolates every month. But I'm surprised she wants attention drawn to it, my DD didn't like it mentioned, is that a new thing. Perhaps some of her friends are getting really painful periods so parents are being sympathetic.

DarlingSophieImHome · 04/02/2025 16:43

TheSmallAssassin · 04/02/2025 16:38

I'd ask her who she thinks buys you chocolate and pampers you when you are on your period?

Edited

Dh does this for me, he hides my favourite chocolate so there is always stock and my children who are both boys know where the chocolate is kept. They have in the past run me a bath, Dh will do foot massages basically anything I ask for. The children make me cups of tea too.

I will say I do have endometriosis so period pain is horrific but Dh has set a lovely example for our sons, now adults. Because being on your period can feel like shit so it is nice when someone does nice things for you.

OP buy her chocolate.

Owl23 · 04/02/2025 16:44

I'm clearly too much in baby mode, I keep reading comments as chocolate and pampers and thinking there's better options than nappies!

And she should be polite bit a little chocolate is fine

MaltipooMama · 04/02/2025 16:44

Can't she just have some chocolate? And it's not pandering to a teenage child on their period to offer them a hot water bottle/some hot chocolate/anything nice when they're struggling is it? I would probably do this for adults as well if they were struggling with period pain! I definitely think she'll remember it fondly when she's older as well, and presumable it's only once a month for a few days!