DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

Chocolate, Sanitary products, paracetamol and hot water bottles are provided automatically in our house. I don't think it would matter who needed them! I never expected my DC to get their own. It's something we do keep a stock of for such occasions.

@Aroundthetwistyvines here are hardened US cowboys being floored by it for just a few minutes. It is a good compilation.

Same, I didn’t have “the best” parents and was only allowed downstairs for dinner.
I’ve got one daughter and another on the way and I hope to treat them a lot better than I was. I crave that close Mum/Daughter relationship so I’ll create one myself 😅

Sorry… did you just compare a teenage girl wanting some chocolate with an adult female infantry soldier who is fighting for her country?
I’m pregnant so don’t currently have periods but I’ve always been very lucky to never suffer through mine so I crack on as normal.
I was rearranging my daughter’s bedroom furniture last weekend because I can still do it myself. My daughter helped with what little she could (she’s 7). So am I raising an entitled adult? Because I believe in moderation.
A mini pamper (a film night and some ice-cream) once a month is not raising an entitled adult. It’s strengthening a Mother/Daughter relationship and creating a well-rounded adult.
An entitled adult comes from parents who tell their children “you’re special, you’re the best, you’re a winner in my eyes” despite the fact they might be behaving little shits.
Good god.

Surely there's a middle way with this?

Yes, we need to be sympathetic with our daughters.
But making it a 'special occasion' and 'demanding' chocolate as a default setting is going too far.

I had terrible period pains in my teens but not every month.
My Mum would run me a hot bath and give me a hot water bottle.
Once, I was sent home from my Saturday job as I couldn't stand up and serve in the shop for the pain.

That prompted me to go to my GP who gave me meds for PMS (to reduce bloating) and pain killers to use as needed. That was decades ago, and treatment has moved on. I've friends now (who are older, retired women) who were given the Pill in the early 1970s to help with periods.

If DDs need support with their periods, do it, maybe take them to the GP, or do whatever they need.

But 'demanding chocolate' seems (as some posters have said) to be something they're picking up from their peer group as if it's a necessity!

Eating chocolate when you're on your period I don't think is the reason for the obesity crisis (it's not only women who are overweight for a start!)

I eat chocolate every day, and I barely get periods. Both DD and I love chocolate and it's a staple in our household. (I used to have an ED and feel shit about eating all kinds of things, now i eat chocolate because i enjoy it) She probably eats more of it when she's on her period. The only (very slightly) overweight person in the house is DH and he neither menstruates or eats chocolate regularly!

It's normal to crave sweet things when on a period .
I wouldn't stop her having them but I wouldn't take kindly to demanding from anyone.
Just have a cupboard stocked with a few things it's reasonable to feel you need sweet things at this time of the month you don't need to fall out over it .

No. If she wants chocolate she can buy her own - presumably she has some sort of pocket money?

See I think what your Mum did is perfect, and for you looking back, it’s something your Mum did for you that helped.
However, if you demanded a bath and a hot water bottle, I’m sure you’d have received a different result.
I don’t agree with giving in to anybody’s demands, but I also don’t agree with some poster’s view of “get on with it, we all had to”.

@xRobin the issue is OP hasn't clarified if her DD simply asked or actually demanded.

If nothing is ever done voluntarily, I can see a child asking for chocolate/hot water bottle/a bath/some sympathy.

That’s true, plus I think sometimes kids just want a hand to hold (so do I and I’m an adult).
If that hand comes in the form of chocolate from Mum then it’s something small, inexpensive but might mean a lot to the teenager.

Periods are so horrible, particularly for teenagers, shouldn’t there be a little sugar to offset that salt?

If she wants chocolate and has her own money then she can buy her own bloody chocolate

Otherwise OP pick your battles and make sure you always have it in the house if this becomes a regular

I think it depends. If daughter is clearly finding her periods very hard and it might feel like a struggle for her to get chocolate when she wants, then yes I might well get her some chocolate to be kind. On the other hand, if it's just a matter of "I am on my period therefore you should get me chocolate because everyone else has chocolate" then I'd tell her she's welcome to get it herself! (we don't have chocolate in normally, not a big deal, we just don't)

My mum looked after me when I had my period as a teenager. She would buy me magazines and some choc, make me a HWB/cup of tea and let me relax and recharge. Now my DH does it for me. No harm in having some chocolate, unless she's asking for huge slabs constantly. Periods are awful and it's important not to dismiss her feelings and simply tell her to "get on with it". Feels weird that you even have to ask this Q tbh. (Obviously if she is demanding in a rude way, then you need to have a chat with her).

I provided heating pads and ibuprofen. They could eat whatever snacks were in the house. I was busy working 12 hours shifts during some of the teen years and their dad was dying so chocolate and "pampering" whatever the daughter means by that and if that means not doing chores and expecting someone to fetch for her, wasn't happening.

I have a trans son so periods are mentally and physically painful.
They had a very heavy one out of the blue last week (on LARC) and I got chocolate on the way home from work and turned up with lots of cuddles. I made sure there was spare in the cupboard and will when my daughter starts her periods.

Hermitta, I would like to know why my comment was funny.
Believe me there is nothing there that is funny and you seem a little sick.

For goodness sake what is it with this generation and their sense of entitlement and need for attention. Yes periods can be uncomfortable, even painful, but in life we just have to get up, get dressed, and get on in with it. Pampering and cosseting every touch and turn does not prepare us for the real ‘grown up’ world.
chocolate will only exacerbate pms and mood swings (which we all know is still there on day 1 and 2) due to the sugar highs and lows.

This

Not everyone has chocolate in the house

I'm in my late 30s, don't live with my parents (they live close though) and my mum would still buy me chocolate when I'm on my period.

Periods can be horrible and women have spent generations being forced to shut up about them. I don't think there's anything wrong with buying a £2 extra chocolate bar once a month.

Not hard to do

I'm 36 and my husband is more than happy to go and buy me chocolate and bring me a hot water bottle when I have cramps. I'm not bringing up my daughter to be a pick me or a worker bee, sacrificing her health to "get on with it" when she's in pain, I'm raising her to know her worth and expect to be treated as well as I expect her to treat others.

I’m 36 too, I am not bringing my daughter up to be so utterly lacking in resilience that a totally normal period would floor her.

Yes, periods for some can be hugely debilitating - because of underlying conditions such as endometriosis.

Otherwise no, they’re fine. Irritating and costly, but fine. I’d be more interested in seeing all the motivation towards commercialising periods being redirected into seeing sanitary products made free, rather than further commercialised and costly.