DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

I'd have hated my mum fussing over me.

@ERthree some women have awful, long, extremely painful periods , with a ridiculous amount of blood loss. Periods might be part of life, but they're not all the same. If you're lucky enough to not know any different, you're just lucky. Not stronger or some type of superior woman.

Omg cinnamon buns! You just reminded me of being a teen! Dad would go and buy some of these, and a packet of those instant coffee cappuccinos when I was on. I had totally forgotten until now! Memory unlocked. Thank you!

Chocolate is a God send when I’m hormonal, I gave DD chocolate for her first period.

I think that this treats periods as an illness. OK I never had pms or period pain so perhaps I'm biased. It could also lead to a disorderd relationship with chocolate. Feeling ill chocolate, in pain choco, having a bad day, choc.

We don't have chocolate in the house as a matter of course.

Calm down Miss Minchin.

Both my girls will always be my princesses, especially when they are in pain and bleeding.

'Cycling' Are you 100 years old? I can't help but laugh, you seriously think a 14 year old in pain, moody and bleeding doesn't deserve a bit of sympathy, a face mask and some chocolate? Being a teenager is fucking awful, being a teenager on your period is unbearable. Lighten up, develop some empathy and soften your heart!

@ERthree it depends on your periods. Yeah I do have to stay in bed for a couple of days sometimes around then

My periods were horrifically painful at that age and I flooded. Would have been nice to get some painkillers, chocolate and a hot water bottle. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t for a child who’s not feeling great.

Jeezo…. As someone else said. It’s chocolate not crack cocaine!

Buy the girl some chocolate!

Her DP most likely

Ignoring the (very predictable) lack of imagination/empathy posts, what is striking in this thread is the gulf between the "I have always had to get on with it, that's life" and the frankly touching caring shown by families and partners to women and girls. I grew up in the former mold and happily have moved closer to the latter.

But one thing I will say is that it's not just that it feels nicer to rest and eat sugar or salt when your body asks for it, you are actually not 'pushing through ' as well as you think you are! You are irritable, fatigued, uncomfortable and eventually this does impact the people around you! You are not doing a favour for people who rely on you at work or home if you do not make any adjustments to care for yourself, however trivial you think they are.

I am late in life to learning this so say it with humility.

Thanks to the parents described in this thread who are teaching their children through their actions.

Demanding and pampering aren't words I'd be interested in but responding to and supporting reasonable needs/desires are.
I used to really crave chocolate when I was on my period in my teens. But funnily enough that totally stopped when I ate a better diet (I want getting enough fruit and veg), so I actually think it was actually my body wanting better nutrition, which of course is more needed at that time.

Why isn't she capable of buying chocolate herself?

I don't understand all the comments about craving chocolate when on a period, but then I crave it everyday.

So you've never experienced anything akin to what OP's daughter might be, and have no idea how it feels to feel: faint, severely bloated, sick, migraines, emotionally strung, pelvic pain, back pain, joint pain.

We also don't keep chocolate in the house here. I don't turn to it for anything - aside from literally two out of seven days a month when I've got the lift scene from The Shining flooding into my knickers.

Ffs, competitive misery on this thread is astounding.

Chocolate can cause bloating whilst on a period and although it tastes nice it will make her feel worse!

A good parent would make her eat iron rich foods so buy her a bag of spinach 🤣🤣

Seems a very combative approach on both sides.

Is chocolate in your budget? If yes, does it really need to be a big deal to buy her some?

There is a physiological reason we crave chocolate around our period. Cocoa is high in magnesium (dark chocolate is particularly high) and this is what eases the cramps and relaxes you. Loads of info and research online.

Or liver 😆

This reminds me of the thread recently where the OP was putting together a period hamper for her daughter (including money for takeaways and treats) because that’s what all her friends were getting. No wonder the younger generations as so weak willed these days.

Periods are just a fact of life for women and girls and whilst I agree ensuing they are comfortable with pain relief if needed, making it into a big deal each month is not necessary.

I would however get my daughter chocolate if she asked (not demanded!)

She is your daughter.. why wouldn't you take a moment to make sure she has a few little treats and check in with her mentally/emotionally?

I'm not a 'pamper' mum, but i do make sure she's ok, and will sort out pain relief, a hot water bottle, a snack and a cuddle, and just take a little extra care if she is in pain.. its basic fucking parenting.

I remember what it was like the first day of my period, it was hell on earth, and my mum couldn't have cared less that i was writhing in bed crying my eyes out, DD is lucky that she isn't experiencing what i did, and i'm glad she doesn't, i wouldn't wish it on anyone, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a little extra love & attention from her mum on those days.

Does she not get chocolate otherwise? I’d assume there will be some in the house

Exactly this! Some pain killers and a hot water bottle if needed and get on with it. No need for all the fuss the Instahuns are creating.

I would take issue with a demand like that.

I wouldn't have any problems with it if she said she feels like she could do with some chocolate. I would gladly buy some if my daughter thought it would help her feel better. It's the "everyone else gets it, why don't I?" that I would consider a problem.

Also, not everyone craves chocolate while on their period - she should be encouraged to actually feel for what it is she wants. What would make her feel better while on her period? Personally, I need ginger ale in my life once a month, not chocolate.