DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

Quite!

I see so many ‘precious’ youngsters it’s untrue. So many fragile drama llamas these days. It doesn’t foster resilience, and does them no favours at all in the long run, even if, as a pp thinks, it’s ‘cute’ to do so.

I can literally tell when my period's about to start because its the sole time I ever want chocolate. Wispa for me, please!

Ask her to describe how her friends are 'pampered' while on their period.

Have some chocolate in the house by all means but I'm sorry, I'm not one to run around fussing over someone because they are on their period. Give them paracetamol, a hot water bottle would be all I could muster up for my daughter but I'd have lots of empathy and be ready to bring them to a GP if their periods required further investigation.

I think at 14 she is able to determine for herself whether chocolate makes her feel better, or spinach for that matter.

Chocolate has never made me feel worse on my period. Ingesting a large amount of fibrous vegetable matter when I'm already feeling queasy probably would.

Eating extra iron once you're already on your period is as useful as downing a bottle of folic acid whilst you're in labour.

jesus, she’s not an adult with adult money who can cater to her own cravings. Get the poor girl some chocolate, what is the issue?

Wow. Don’t you want chocolate when you’re on? I can’t imagine denying this,

I can't see the problem in making sure there's always a couple of bars of chocolate in.

Parent of the year right there, drawing rhe line at a bar of chocolate, 😂

Amazed you won't let her have chocolate. Unnecessarily harsh

I mean I'm 41 and my dad has been known to come and do my food shop if I'm on my period, or take me to hospital because an ambulance is delayed etc because I can't drive in pain
A bar of chocolate is nothing

Same here. I'm usually big on veg and salad, but when I'm on I can't digest it properly which results in vomiting. I want chocolate, cheese, thin broths, fish, etc. Always been the same. At 14 I knew full well what I wanted, and now at 35 it's exactly the same...and I've tried to do otherwise! Doesn't work.

Oh god, it's a bit like wanting a romantic husband.

She sees other mums being all caring & wants you to be spontaneously kind & offering chocolate and hot water bottles but you didn't know that was the expectation so now you've let her down with your lack of sixth sense.

Pull her up on the unacceptable rudeness, but maybe tell her you love her & you're sorry she feels low. Next month make sure there's some dairy milk in & make sure to take the time out ask if she's okay & give her a cuddle over the few days she's on - no doubt you do anyway but make a point of it.

Thank the lord I have boys.

Of course get her a bit of chocolate. And evening primrose or starflower oil and a teen multivitamin.

Yes, you do crave chocolate when you have your period. Why are you denying her this

What unacceptable rudeness. Asking for chocolate or correctly articulating its poor parenting to not even get your kid a bar of chocolate.

Jesus Christ, @Homeymum2, get the poor girl some chocolate.

I agree...I just stick a sanitary towel in my knickers and go to work...never been pampered or bought chocolate in my 40 years of menstrual bleeding.

So chocolate's not healthy, demanding anything's not great BUT getting my 14 year old daughter struggling with her period a bit of chocolate would be a pleasure. Mine are adults now and I'd do anything to provide a treat or comforting thing here or there.

Chocolate and pampering for a normal bodily function? Why on earth does she expect that? If she wants chocolate tell her to go and buy some.

Why can't she have whatever chocolate is already in the houae and go lie down with a hot water bottle? Honestly your DD sounds entitled.

Plus I personally wouldn't want to give teen girls the message that natural bodily functions somehow make them weak and precious and in need of special "pampering".

There's also an element of standard setting.

If I won't nurture my adaughter and show her how she should expect to be treated, why would she expect anyone else to?

It's all very well saying people didn't make a thing of it in our day, but I CAN do better so I WILL do better.

I want my daughter to feel like I'm the mum she wants to live up to being.

You can't pour from an empty cup, so OP, if your mum never did it for you, don't you think it might be nice to give your daughter more than what you had?

I fuck up as a mum in a regular basis, we all do. But this is such am easy win tat I'm baffled you aren't falling over yourself to love your daughterin a way that matters to her.

I always crave chocolate and sweet things around my period. It's how I know it's imminent.
Why can't she have some chocolate? Even the easiest period isn't much fun, why can't she have a little treat? I don't get why it's an issue for you.

My periods are awful and so are my DDs. I do buy her chocolate and give her some slack. Just as I do with myself.

She's a child.

Your child is asking you for some attention. How hard would it be for you to get her some chocolate and prep a hot water bottle for her. I can't imagine why this is even a question. I have had endometriosis since I started my period. My pain was so bad I was crawling in all fours with every period. My mum and gp told me I was being dramatic and to just get on with it. I would probably have a much better relationship with my mum as an adult if she had shown me some care and attention - a bar of chocolate and some hugs might have been lovely.