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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

614 replies

Homeymum2 · 04/02/2025 16:35

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

OP posts:
Hopper123 · 04/02/2025 16:45

It's a tik token thing where mums make them whole boards of snacks and treats with cooling pads etc it's so OTT I imagine that's what she's demanding?? I wouldn't donthat I'd simply get a big bar of dairy milk in tell her to help herself there's some in the cupboard and pass her over the box of ibuprofen if she needs it. I'm all for understanding it sucks especially if it's new to her but she also has to understand she's just got to get on with it, obviously might be a bit different if she has pain as bad as endometriosis etc but if it's just normal heavy periods I'm afraid it's a case of suck it up. We'd all love a day off and pampering but it doesn't happen in the real world

MermaidEyes · 04/02/2025 16:45

Quinlan · 04/02/2025 16:37

Maybe I’m a bit weird but surely there is chocolate available in the house? I mean, not loads but it’s a pretty normal thing to have in the snacky box for when someone fancies a treat snack.
Just buy some chocolate?

There's always chocolate in my house!

SemperIdem · 04/02/2025 16:46

Buy her a bueno, no harm there.

Pampering though? Hard no.

xRobin · 04/02/2025 16:46

Why wouldn’t you? Unless I’m missing something.
A little bit of chocolate and a mini pamper once a month could be a cute bonding you both do, no?
I’d do a whole thing.
Film night, popcorn, Ben&Jerry’s, a blanket and fresh pyjamas would be a lovely thing for you both and something she can look back on saying “my Mum was always so lovely” rather than “my Mum didn’t understand why I might want a treat when I’m in fucking pain”.

ILoveRadio6 · 04/02/2025 16:46

When I had bad period pain as a teenager my Mum used to make me a hot chocolate. I was convinced that it helped!

Surely it's not too much of an ask?

Moonnstars · 04/02/2025 16:47

We generally always have chocolate in the house.

I don't agree with her demanding you buy it. If she has pocket money then I would be encouraging her to use this if that is her attitude and if she was that desperate for some!

I have seen on Facebook people making period boxes (they probably have a better name than that) so wonder if that's the pampering idea. There seems to be a box for every occasion now (Xmas eve, Halloween boo boxes, Easter 🙄)

ERthree · 04/02/2025 16:48

Tell her only Princesses get pampered and as she is not a Princess she will just have to get on with it.

latetothefisting · 04/02/2025 16:48

well it depends what pampering means. Making a big fuss, probably not necessary, but if she does struggle then helping her out like you would any other minor ailment - giving her painkillers, letting her go to bed, fine.

and what's wrong with having chocolate, period or otherwise?
is there nothing in the house she can just 'have' rather than needing to 'demand?'

MaltipooMama · 04/02/2025 16:48

TheSmallAssassin · 04/02/2025 16:38

I'd ask her who she thinks buys you chocolate and pampers you when you are on your period?

Edited

But as the child in the relationship and not the parent, that's not really her responsibility is it, to be fair. It's like a parent saying to a child, "well who looks after me when I'm unwell" or "who's responsible for making sure I get home from work safely" imagine 😂

Lovebirdslovetea · 04/02/2025 16:48

I think you should buy her chocolate. Her body needs it during her cycle.

PoorPlanning · 04/02/2025 16:49

Goodness. Just let her eat some chocolate and don’t make such a big deal over it.

Moier · 04/02/2025 16:49

My Grandson who is ASD and age 19.. runs his GF a bath and buys her chocolate when she's on her period... my daughter had brought him up well to treat and respect females.. l always bought my daughters choc n treats when on their period or not.
I don't have periods but they still buy me choc.

DoorToNowhere · 04/02/2025 16:49

Definitely get her some chocolate and give her some comfort and care.

xRobin · 04/02/2025 16:49

MaltipooMama · 04/02/2025 16:48

But as the child in the relationship and not the parent, that's not really her responsibility is it, to be fair. It's like a parent saying to a child, "well who looks after me when I'm unwell" or "who's responsible for making sure I get home from work safely" imagine 😂

Show quote history

Sounds like a few Mums I know. They have a son instead of a husband and think it’s the son’s job to look after her, help pay the bills and pick up the siblings and drop them off etc.

Hufflemuff · 04/02/2025 16:49

Demand and ask are different. Is she being a little cow and trying to make me feel like shit about not having chocolate on demand at 10pm on a random Tuesday night? Or is she asking "if you're popping to the shop, can you pick up a bar of Cadbury please". The two would get a very different result in my house.

Also i think its a bit ridiculous when people "pamper" too much. We should be empathetic but unless it's a really bad out of the ordinary period then we need to teach them to build resilience!

CrownCoats · 04/02/2025 16:50

Period pampering? I’ve never heard of this. I survived without being pampered, and I continue to survive today without being pampered.

Why can’t people cope with normal life anymore?!

trivialMorning · 04/02/2025 16:51

Never been asked - though they have hot water bottles - plug in ones - and heated blankets and I'd offer pain relief - though they do know where that is. They both had access to some money as well and if asked would pop out and get.

I use to have horrendous periods what I wanted was rest and heat pads and decent pain killers.

Not sure a whole routine/ritual needs to be created but some basic consideration and sympathy wouldn't be hard to do.

MaltipooMama · 04/02/2025 16:51

xRobin · 04/02/2025 16:46

Why wouldn’t you? Unless I’m missing something.
A little bit of chocolate and a mini pamper once a month could be a cute bonding you both do, no?
I’d do a whole thing.
Film night, popcorn, Ben&Jerry’s, a blanket and fresh pyjamas would be a lovely thing for you both and something she can look back on saying “my Mum was always so lovely” rather than “my Mum didn’t understand why I might want a treat when I’m in fucking pain”.

This is cute. I would hope to do this sort of thing with my daughter when she is older! I never had a relationship with my mom and I would've loved this type of thing. It's getting added to my mental list of how to be a good parent 😂

Ponderingwindow · 04/02/2025 16:51

if she needs some extra sofa time, a heating pad, and a chocolate bar then she should be free to make that decision. Unless money is especially tight, there should be some period snacks in the pantry. They aren’t a necessity like menstrual supplies, but every woman knows that eating what your body is craving during that time helps with the negative symptoms.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/02/2025 16:51

I have a son but if i had a dd I'd definitely buy her it.my periods were very painful In the early years and I often craved sugar.

KnittyNell · 04/02/2025 16:52

ERthree · 04/02/2025 16:48

Tell her only Princesses get pampered and as she is not a Princess she will just have to get on with it.

What miserable attitude!

Seagullsandsausagerolls · 04/02/2025 16:53

Nothing wrong with a bit of chocolate on your period. I had dreadful PMT and painful periods (endometriosis and adenomyosis) my mum never believed me as she never had any issues with hers.

I used to work with a guy who sensed my PMT and would leave me little bars of chocolate several times a month. He never mentioned it or said a word about it but they turned up like clockwork 😂.

ERthree · 04/02/2025 16:53

xRobin · 04/02/2025 16:46

Why wouldn’t you? Unless I’m missing something.
A little bit of chocolate and a mini pamper once a month could be a cute bonding you both do, no?
I’d do a whole thing.
Film night, popcorn, Ben&Jerry’s, a blanket and fresh pyjamas would be a lovely thing for you both and something she can look back on saying “my Mum was always so lovely” rather than “my Mum didn’t understand why I might want a treat when I’m in fucking pain”.

And here is the reason why we have entitled adults. Having a period is part of normal life for females. Who pampers you every month? Do you take to your bed for the duration ? Women died for the women of today to be taken seriously and to be treated as equals and attitudes like this set us back half a century. Can you imagine a female soldier on the front line demanding time for a pamper session because she has her period ? No she just has to bloody well get on with it.

TreesWelliesKnees · 04/02/2025 16:54

I don't keep chocolate in the house but I buy it in when I have my period. I make myself a hot water bottle and snuggle up if I'm feeling a bit rotten. So yes, I'll do that for DD when it happens, if she wants that. I used to believe in powering through and denying my need for rest and treats. Nowadays I believe in recharging and looking after myself, and I model that to my kids.