DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

This doesn't compute for me. I always have some chocolate in the house and certainly by the time my children were teenagers they were helping themselves to it in the evening. I wasn't monitoring their intake, with the proviso that they knew if they ate it all before the week was up, I would not be buying more until the weekly shop.

Also, doesn't your dd have some sort of allowance or pocket money with which to buy her own? She should have some money of her own otherwise how will she ever learn about budgeting and saving for things?

My DH looks after me every month. I don't ask, but I reliably get treats, baths, nice meals, back massages. He does those things anyway but they ramp up when I'm on. What's wrong with that? I'm not a female soldier. I'm a grown woman who gets cramps so bad I feel nauseas when I'm on. Why the fuck wouldn't my DH do nice things for me? 🤣

I make my dd a cup of tea and a hot water bottle. We always have chocolate in but I’d happily buy something special if she asked. Why not? I also do these things for myself or DH will, and dd makes me a cup of tea regularly and would do anything else if I asked. It’s just being caring, isn’t it?

Obviously “demanding “ isn’t the right approach but she’s trying to let you know she would like to feel a bit more cared for.

This is such a weird thread. I have no idea when DD is on her period. She gets on with her life and continues to do multiple types of dance and play football and hockey.
There's chocolate and treats in the cupboard if she wants them at any time.
Teaching young women that life stops during a period feels like a Victorian throwback. If periods are too painful or heavy then see the GP for options to help.

It can take 8 years to get an endometriosis diagnosis. In the mean time a bit of chocolate is not a huge ask!

Why would you not let her have chocolate? Or give her some money to buy some.

Ops dd isn't a soldier, she's a kid getting to grips with having a painful period.

And as for the "women died so we must get on with it", fuck that, we aren't allowed to admit periods are painful and want a bit of comfort or chocolate because women died for equal rights years ago?

I hope you never complain about periods, or pregnancy, or childbirth or menopause, after all, women died so we have to keep our pain silent in order to respect them apparently, FFS.

How is she asking? Is she asking nicely, because she craves it/thinks it might help? Is there never chocolate in the house , so it's a specific ask? Does she have her own money she could use?

If she's rude and actually demanding and kicking off over it , I wouldn't buy it on principle.

We do have treats in the house that she has access to anyway, including on her period and she has her own ice cream(helps after braces being tightened too) and the pampering mostly consists of me asking if she's ok, reminding her to take painkillers, maybe making a hot water bottle for her , and letting her to take it easy.

I'm with you. Sympathy and understanding if she is in pain of course. But I think this bizarre obsession with eating chocolate just because you are on your period is a really bad food habit to get into. Eating sugary foods when you are in pain/sad/cold/tired/emotional etc is not a healthy relationship with food and treats..
And I'm suprised at how many people keep chocolate in their house as a standard. I mean, I'd love to be able to but I have zero self control and would just inhale it immediately. Luckily I live alone so can manage my habits by not having junk food in the house. But my poor relationship with food is something I am very aware of and wish I'd been helped to develop better habits as a child/teen.

People are acting like chocolate is actual medicine. It is not. Using chocolate as comfort food, is a bad idea.

Having a bit of chocolate around sounds fine. Demanding is not.

And what does she mean by "pamper"? What sort of thing? Because this does sound a bit ridiculous.

It's funny how this thread is half women with a just get on with it attitude and half stories of how men are really nice and supportive about it.

Bleeding from your genitals is actually horrific if you think about it.

Some people crave chocolate around their period starting each month. But chocolate bars nowadays mostly have palm oil and are designed to make people overeat. Instead have some cocoa available flour milk,oil available and she can make herself a microwave chocolate mug cake.

Once a month?! I don't have a sweet tooth whatsoever apart from two days a month; night before my period and when first come on. Goodness me.

chocolate is literally a comfort food, no one is eating it for the nutritional benefits

There's not usually chocolate in the house- gets eaten if in pretty much straight away by other inhabitants - but there is dark coco powder and they can and do make hot chocolate as and when they want

https://www.helpingwomenperiod.org/7-drinks-to-help-reduce-period-cramps/

I think only one of these drinks we don't routine have is the green Green Smoothie.

Nether DD would have thanked me for making a fuss of them being on their period - just the way they are. I imagine other girls would enjoy a fuss.

A giant share bar and a few face masks a month is a few quid. Stop being so mean

Probably women who don't actually have any issues with your periods, so they can't actually even imagine how bad it can be and how inexistent any medical support and interest is.

So being an equal means denying that we have different biology and different needs? The example of a soldier is fascinating - you couldn't have chosen a more patriarchal example if you tried.

How about if we were to bring a bit of understanding of women's bodies into this harsh world we live in? What if we were to feel able to respond to what our bodies need? For the vast majority of women that wouldn't mean five days off work - it would mean some painkillers, a bit of chocolate, a hot water bottle and an evening on the sofa.

My periods were so painful as a teenager that I would vomit and pass out.

I went to the Dr multiple times and tried various medications, none of which helped. Eventually I went on the pill, much against my Dr's wishes.

Not everyone is the same and not all teenage girls are as fortunate as your daughter.

I went at 14 about my period issue and was told getting pregnant would help! I'm finally got a diagnosis at 45. I suffered years of sickness,. flooding, extreme back, pelvis pain , horrendous cramps and fainting. Neither my mum or GP took it seriously and minimised my experience. The same thing happens many women.

IDK though it sounds a bit like a teenage boy trying it on over an age rating "buuuut so and so mum let's them play that game your just being meeeeaann"

I was told that too, aged 16.

Chocolate, hot water bottle and some paracetamol and stop being a misery guts.