Parents using their children’s disabilities to skip the queues at Disneyland

[satsumaqueen]

I know the title will probably infuriate some people, and I just want to say from the outset that I am not writing this thread to cause offence. I’m writing because I don’t have much experience with having children that have disabilities such as Autism and ADHD and I am genuinely curious and want to understand more.

I’ve been planning a trip to Disneyland Paris and have joined some groups on social media to get some tips etc. I’ve been really surprised at the amount of posts asking how to get a special pass from Disney so their children can skip the lines on all the rides.

I know there are some conditions which very obviously make it physically impossible to stand for a hour, however a lot of these posts are from parents whose children have ADHD or Autism. I also know there are varying levels of autism (my cousin is severely autistic), and I know there are numerous things that people with autism have to deal with like sensory overload etc, but there are also many forms of autism where people can function like every other person, and would have no issue in standing in a queue with everyone else.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society? Things like queues are part of every day life. Why does having ADHD excuse you from waiting like everyone else?

I know there will be many genuine requests for those passes, but I also feel because of the sheer volume of them, that a lot are trying to claim them because the parents can’t be bothered to wait in line and are using their child as a free way to skip the queues? This then impacts everyone else’s experience who then have to wait even longer in queues to accommodate all of the people skipping.

Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?

I have young children, so believe me when I say I know what it’s like to stand in line for long periods of time with children who find it difficult to stand still/stand for long periods of time. I’m just struggling to understand why parents with toddlers have any less of a difficult time in the queues than those with children who have ADHD as a example, but they are expected to stand in line for a hour with no option to skip. - I will just add I’m not expecting parents with young children to skip the queue, I just don’t understand why a child with ADHD or mild autism (sorry if this is the incorrect terminology) couldn’t wait in the same queue as everyone else?

Of course you’re getting flamed for this OP but I completely agree with you, and evidently so do Disney world in Florida as they’ve massively clamped down on the DAS system due to widespread abuse. Paris is still a free for all (for now).

It’s sad because people who genuinely need the pass will now have a worse experience because of those taking the piss. Unfortunately it wasn’t rare for this to happen and there were forums/videos dedicated to telling people how to get a pass for spurious reasons.

I’m pretty sure nobody thinks a child in genuine need should be denied extra accessibility, but unfortunately the line has become very blurred and despite what you read on mumsnet where of course everyone is 100% genuine and desperately in need, there are plenty of people who are just piss takers and spoiling it for others.

@lifeturnsonadime Second autism/ ADHD bashing thread this morning.
There must be something in the water.

I think it's that the old pram v wheelchair thing is so last year and this crap is what's in vogue for 2025.

Similar with blue badges - some people really need a blue badge as they are physically unable in many ways. Then there are others with a blue badge who can easily walk run jump and hop their way around.

My ex had a TBI, he was very physically able but still had a blue badge. Why? because he struggled mentally to cope in supermarkets and other busy places, being able to get in and out quickly was helpful to him. He also struggled with his bladder and being able to access a restroom more quickly was also helpful. There are a variety of reasons why a seemingly able-bodied person may need a blue badge and none of them are your business.

> There are no forms of autism where the person can function like a normal person

Very much disagree with this statement and feel it's very negative.

(Parent of two DC with autism and childhood issues with endless ARFID / hospitalisations who now both work in 'mainstream' IT-related jobs very successfully.)

And that means there are a whole host of experiences disabled children can't access because of their disability. And by extension neither can their siblings.
The point is they can cope with them if reasonable adjustments are made and that's what this is.
I'm sorry but your comment sounds like something from the 50s when people were told to hide disabled people away so they didn't upset society. They are part of society and have as much right to access entertainment venues as anyone else

It is not up to other people to educate the OP. She has titled her thread in a way to antagonise people. She could have done some basic research herself, and asked her questions in a less accusatory way.

Op this isn't going to go well at all my DS is autistic and trust me I would happily give up the odd benefit that he is entitled to to skip queues for him not to be autistic I love my son dearly and we are fortunate that he isn't at the extreme end but it is still hard it has mentally and physically exhausted me and my DH my son attends a special needs class because he can't cope with main stream.

So if that's all you have to moan about is the fact your DD can't skip lines then count your blessings.

While you are stood in the queue thinking how lucky we are to have a disabled pass, I will be stood gazing wistfully at that queue having not even been able to enter it.
My child's disability means he simply can't access many things that some take for granted.

In any system there will clearly be a minority who take the piss. That's inevitable

However, I have a friend whose child has autism - very bright - but he cannot at all cope with waiting in queues and would have an epic meltdown and be a serious flight risk (she has mobility issues and could not catch him if he bolted). She does need the pass. She uses his DLA to pay for him to have one to one lessons in things he is interested in, as he cannot cope in group classes.

Yes I have a Ds with Asd/adhd ..

honestly life is so much easier because he can skip queues🙄.

He is almost 18. I don’t have the freedom a parent of a NT parent has . His life options are limited . But hey we can skip a queue .

Also lots of places you actually virtually queue .. so not skipping the queue but waiting in a calmer place

Hi, I'm these parents. I have 2 now teenage boys who look perfectly 'normal' and for years I didn't use any of the services available because I thought people would judge me but I got sick of putting them in uncomfortable situations, causing them meltdowns and embarrassment because of thinking about other people. The amount of days out I've had to leave an hour in because it started to be become overwhelming, one of my son's is an expert masker and can appear to be fine queuing but is in fact stood there over thinking everything, panicking in case there's an emergency and he's stuck, worrying about other people being too close, worrying about what facial expressions he's making and if he's blending in etc ... But I guess to you he's just a regular teenager. Everyday life is honestly a bit shit for them, school is hard, social stuff is hard, there self esteem isn't great etc ... But Disney is their happy place and I'm not taking that away from them. So I'll get the queue passes and stand there avoiding eye contact and feeling awkward while people like you judge me. But just so you know I'm not doing it for myself!

Reframe it in your mind that these kids have been dealt a pretty rubbish hand in life, the least we can do is give them a little boost every now and again. A bit like the Wish Upon A Star idea.

Maybe they get to skip queues they could otherwise deal with - but given every single day is a struggle for them, let’s do something that makes that day a bit easier for them. The same is true for the child with diabetes, it sucks they have diabetes so let’s bring some other joy to their life to balance it out.

And very well controlled diabetes means a parent working extremely hard 24/7 to manage that. You have no idea .

There are definitely some people taking the mickey, as can be seen on the online groups OP is talking about. You get people asking things like "can I fake a referral letter?" because they don't want to pay for fast passes. The trouble is there are now so many people trying to get passes that even the skip the line queues are quite long, which defeats the purpose for those who really need it.

@satsumaqueen - my DD is autistic and has sensory issues with noise, large numbers of people, smells, lots of anxiety, but she also has ADHD and is hyperactive and sensory seeking so gets a lot of pleasure from rollercoasters. She loves theme parks. They are also a "safe" space for her as most don't allow dogs and she has a dog phobia which prevents us from going to many, many places.

The professionals we deal with for my daughter - occupational therapist, optometrist, developmental therapist. psychologist (she's lucky I can afford private treatments, she got nothing in the NHS/state school system) have all advised she use the fast pass so that she can experience/access the theme parks as she doesn't have the same stamina as other children her age and is easily overwhelmed. The explained it to me that taking away a child's spectacles won't help them see better, taking a wheelchair user's chair away won't "force" them to walk - so "forcing" my daughter to wait won't "teach" her patience - it will just teach her that theme parks aren't accessible for her.

It’s a tricky one because it’s not black and white as to whether someone with a SEN diagnosis can tolerate queuing and the fact that young children in general find queuing for long periods difficult.

The solution is pretty easy considering the technology we have now for virtual queues, I don’t know why it can’t be rolled out for all rides over a certain wait length. People can join the queue on the app and get alerted when it’s time to go to the ride, they will spend more money in the park while they are waiting!

Disney have a majorly convoluted fast pass scheme, they have made it way more complicated than it needs to be and charging customers who have already paid hundreds in park tickets. There just needs to be virtual queue which is free to all and an unlimited fast pass which you can purchase allowing you to turn up at any ride any time.

You are aware that the toddler stage has a temporary? Yes, toddlers have tantrums, it’s a stage they all go through but you can hunker down for a year or so unril
tbeh grow out of it. Autistic people don’t have tantrums, they have meltdowns due to complete an utter overwhelm. They don’t grow out of them, although many learn to manage their lives to avoid overwhelm.

If you break your leg, you don’t get to park in a disabled bay, even though you can’t walk, because your situation is temporary and you are expected to make temporary adaptions to life. But if you lose your leg, that is long term so society adapts a bit around you.

”I know the title will probably infuriate some people, and I just want to say from the outset that I am not writing this thread to cause offence. I’m writing because I don’t have much experience with having children that have disabilities such as Autism and ADHD and I am genuinely curious and want to understand more.”

Your motives are transparent. There’s a plethora of information online and plenty of places to genuinely ask if you did want to know about life raising neurodivergent children.

"I just don't understand" - this is it, you don't. Diabetes isn't well controlled by magic, even with a pump. Get it wrong and worst cast your child can die. I'd imagine without a pass the fear of disruption to routine from hours of queuing would be enough to deter a lot of parents who will en understandably anxious about there child
Should those children miss out on Disney as well as having to deal with a lifelong medical condition?

My daughter who is autistic is a sensory seeker for movement (she used to throw herself on the floor for sensory imput) but has serious sensory intolerance to the point finds the noise of people breathing painful she also over sensitive sense of smell. She can't cope with being in confined spaces for long periods, so queuing is nearly impossible but she loves rollercoasters because she's a sensory seeker.

We've been to DLP a couple of times and had the passes which were a god send. She never watched the parade or the fireworks as too much and we had to organise food and avoiding crowds generally around her needs.

Hope that explains it a bit better but she should absolutely be able to enjoy rollercoasters just like any NT child this accommodation is a reasonable adjustment to allow her to do so.

Have you ever applied or assessed someone who applied for a blue badge? Again, this is the issue between visible and invisible disability. Nobody would question an amputee, everyone would question a person with chronic fatigue syndrome who may be able to run and jump for 15 minutes one day a week (publicly) and then spend two weeks recovering from it in bed (privately). Or a person with (invisible) chronic pain, or a person with (invisible) POTS, or a person with functioning legs but arm impairment who cannot operate a parking meter, or a person whose (invisible) condition may cause behavioural issues which put themselves or members of public at risk... All of these are genuine but invisible needs.

Genuine question - if kids suffer from sensory overload and struggle with busy places is Disney the best place for them? Would somewhere like this not totally cause sensory overload?

I get kids live Disney but why would you put your child in that position that may distress them?

Equally on the Florida groups there are blatantly people taking the piss to get these passes and openly ask how to get one.

For a neurotypical child, queuing is a pain in the arse. It can be managed by playing games. Neurotypical children are out of their routine and it might cause a few more tears than normal but it can be solved with a few cuddles and an earlier bedtime.

For a neurodiverse child, they will not understand why they are queuing. There is a lot of sensory input - people standing too close, standing without moving for too long, too noisy. It creates anxiety rather than just boredom. Depending on how their neurodiversity presents that anxiety will present as masking so a child will appear completely able to deal with it but later in the hotel room they will have a complete meltdown, this could be them injuring themselves or their care givers. It could present as a meltdown in the queue. The neurodiverse child is already out of their routine, so essentially they are already on high alert and having to queue is likely to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. They might not have slept because of the change in the hotel room and they might not have access to their safe spaces or safe foods.

Basically, a neurodiverse child is already starting the day at a point where neurotypical kids are ending. It’s the equivalent of asking your neurotypical kids to go and do another whole day at Disney straight after they’ve done that day without sleep. Do you want a means to avoid the queue then?

But let’s say the parents are using it when they shouldn’t be, even though there is proof needed to obtain a pass. There is a neurodiverse tax, even for “mild autism” or ADHD. There are noise cancelling headphones, fidgets, adaptive clothing that doesn’t cause sensory issues. For ADHD parents might find themselves getting home exercise equipment or signing their kids up to high activity classes. There is going to autism friendly screenings at the cinema or avoiding normal family activities. The cost of getting shopping delivered because they can’t take their kids food shopping. There is the cost of safe foods if the child has a food aversion. There is likely the cost of challenging the local authority for the correct support to be given at school. Or in some cases there is the lost income of one parent as they can only homeschool or the cost of private education to get the support needed. The cost of lost wages when a parent couldn’t be in work to look after their child. If you want to skip the queue, use the money you haven’t used in neurodiversity tax and buy a fast pass.

The snippet you see in a queue is not what reality is like. You can’t make a judgement as to whether someone is “mildly autistic”. If they are autistic, they are neurodiverse. Their brain works differently to your children.

Disney are asking for proof of receipt of DLA. To get our DLA we had to fill in a long form with a lot of detail, add as much background evidence as we could (in our case it was multiple diagnoses, prescriptions, school report, OT, dietician, SALT, EHCP), also a section that the school filled in, and then it's looked at by their team - who do not, contrary to rumour - hand DLA out willy-nilly to determine whether we were eligible. We're currently waiting for a decision on our second child which I'm nervous about, despite the fact they are also engaged with several medical professionals, on multiple medications, and currently unable to attend school.

I’m just trying to understand the difference between someone with autism having a meltdown and a neurotypical child?

Meltdown presentation varies from child to child, but both of mine can hurt themselves and others (through lashing out rather than deliberate harm in both cases). One screams and runs, the other just runs. Both of them can be wiped out by one for several hours. One often gets a migraine shortly afterwards which means they can vomit and needs immediate sleep to recover. It bears no resemblance to most toddler tantrums.

The real villains here are not kids who need a reasonable adjustment, but the theme park bigwigs who pack so many people in that everyone has a pretty shit time waiting around all day.

It’s all about the money and it’s sad.