Parents using their children’s disabilities to skip the queues at Disneyland

[satsumaqueen]

I know the title will probably infuriate some people, and I just want to say from the outset that I am not writing this thread to cause offence. I’m writing because I don’t have much experience with having children that have disabilities such as Autism and ADHD and I am genuinely curious and want to understand more.

I’ve been planning a trip to Disneyland Paris and have joined some groups on social media to get some tips etc. I’ve been really surprised at the amount of posts asking how to get a special pass from Disney so their children can skip the lines on all the rides.

I know there are some conditions which very obviously make it physically impossible to stand for a hour, however a lot of these posts are from parents whose children have ADHD or Autism. I also know there are varying levels of autism (my cousin is severely autistic), and I know there are numerous things that people with autism have to deal with like sensory overload etc, but there are also many forms of autism where people can function like every other person, and would have no issue in standing in a queue with everyone else.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society? Things like queues are part of every day life. Why does having ADHD excuse you from waiting like everyone else?

I know there will be many genuine requests for those passes, but I also feel because of the sheer volume of them, that a lot are trying to claim them because the parents can’t be bothered to wait in line and are using their child as a free way to skip the queues? This then impacts everyone else’s experience who then have to wait even longer in queues to accommodate all of the people skipping.

Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?

I have young children, so believe me when I say I know what it’s like to stand in line for long periods of time with children who find it difficult to stand still/stand for long periods of time. I’m just struggling to understand why parents with toddlers have any less of a difficult time in the queues than those with children who have ADHD as a example, but they are expected to stand in line for a hour with no option to skip. - I will just add I’m not expecting parents with young children to skip the queue, I just don’t understand why a child with ADHD or mild autism (sorry if this is the incorrect terminology) couldn’t wait in the same queue as everyone else?

Yeah, it was better when autistic people were all in asylums so we didn't have to see them or be inconvenienced by them.

In that case,why not try and educate the op instead of being rude? Just a thought.

We have 4 children with autism. Oldest 2 are able to cope with queues and ear defenders help with loud noises so we don't do queue assist.

However our younger 2 are a different story. Our son will never not be on a 2:1 ratio because during a meltdown he becomes unsafe to himself and others. He had 1:1 at all times in a special school after being on a 4 staff to him ratio in a mainstream school. Theme parks etc are the only place we found that he not only enjoys but also self regulates.

going on the same roller coaster 11 times isn't enjoyable for any of us apart from him, but he's clearly getting something from it.

That being said putting him into a 90 min queue will trigger a meltdown because he lacks the ability to understand. so the queue assist became a life line for us with him.

Our youngest again lacks the understand. And queuing can again trigger a melt down.

Standing in a queue at a supermarket with them is challenging enough when they are just 10 mins. Never mind 90 mins.

Her meltdowns are not as violent as his. As he will hurt other people. However she will hurt herself. We have had her repeatedly smacking her head of concrete floors, mental poles (street lamps etc) she's known to bite herself.

Both can find things very overwhelming and we often have to take breaks to regulate.

So the queue assist has helped us massively in terms of keeping them and others safe.

The best system I saw was people with accessibility needs being given a time to return to the ride that roughly corresponded with how long they would have queued. So they waited like everyone else, just with the adjustment it didn't need to be in the queue itself. Wait times were calculated taking into account these 'returners' so there were no nasty surprises in the regular queue at suddenly having your wait extended. It seemed to work very well.

Can I just add because as expected most people have read the title and got very offended. I wasn’t trying to cause offence. I wrote this post because I want to understand why these passes are needed. What always surprises me is parents want the world to understand their children, make adjustments and advocate for them, but when anyone asks a genuine question to help them understand their children, rather than answering to help that person understand, they choose to take offence and throw insults.

You’d get a pass at DLP with a DLA award.

That's pretty typical uo untill the age of 16
However once she has to apply for PIP assuming the daughter is able to manage her own diabetes and there are no complications
It's unlikely she will get an award
I'm the parent of an 18 year old insulin dependent diabetic
And 14 year old severely autistic non verbal etc .son.

Do you ever care for your niece with T1D ? . If so you should know exercise and excitement both affect blood glucose levels . Your DN could experience either hypo or hyperglycemia whilst queuing, both which need to be actively and immediately managed to keep your niece safe and well . Insulin pumps are not " plug and play " , they need to be programmed to the persons individual needs . TID is one of the hardest long term conditions to manage as it requires input and decision making umpteen times per day . The pass for your niece is completely justified .

I am not offended. That’s such a cop out when you’ve been purposefully ignorant and goady.

As I said, if you truly wanted to learn, there are ways.

The OP thinks children can be taught not to be autistic. They may be beyond educating.

My son has what the professionals describe as incredibly well managed T1D, with pump and CGM.
Managing his diabetes is still a rollercoaster all of its own, and it’s an around the clock job with alarms going off at all times of the day and night. If he sleeps on his tummy for too long, his monitor thinks his blood sugar has crashed, we get a phone call and have to go check his blood ourselves to see if he’s having a medical emergency or just tummy time.
He can be coasting along beautifully one minute and then downing glucose shots the next, or beeping relentlessly because his blood sugar has rocketed after lunch. A million different things affect blood sugar, every day is a mind fuck. My child’s body is literally trying to kill him.
If ignorant people like you begrudge him a silver lining like skipping a queue at Disney (better than keeping a person with a volatile condition like T1D trapped in a queue), just let me know and we can swap places.
Your niece deserves every piece of help she can get.

I can think of about 5 different ways you could have reworded the thread title to reflect that this was, in fact, a genuine request to understand (if it actually was)

It’s not my job and nor should I have to. Do you ask wheelchair users to justify why they’re in a wheelchair? OP clearly has doubts about sen children needing these passes or they wouldn’t have started the thread or even asked the question.
This thread is thinly veiled ableism.

Adding rain to an already high-sensory activity will not make an autistic child ‘grasp the idea of queueing’.

Europa Park in Germany doesn't do any paid fast passes for visitors. Everyone who goes and uses their app can book a number of timed slots for the bigger rides (you have to be quite on it to get them) which is free. You can only be in one at a time. There are lots of non-ride things to do and the queues for many rides aren't too bad.

They do also have a disability pass (Access card required) that gives you up to six rides in the day.

My kids loved it as it was very chilled. Many people say it's better than Disney (which I've never done). Worth looking into.

You wrote the post in a very inflammatory, unpleasant way.

You are aware that ADHD affects people differently?

Why is it our job to educate you?

There's a wealth of information out there, books, blogs, YouTube, even tiktok if someone genuinely wanted to learn. Or you could have directly asked the people on FB "why do you think your kids need it", but, of course FB isn't anonymous.

Instead you chose to come onto here suggesting we educate out dc out of their disabilities.

As parents of ND children we spend half of our lives explaining things to people just so our children aren't seen as less than, and having to defend any tiny adjustment our kids get because others see the 'perk' and want it without having any of the difficulties that go along with it.

Did it seem like a good morning for trolling OP @satsumaqueen you clearly have no empathy or interest in understanding what Autism or ADHD is. Hope you get torn to shreds, it's what you deserve.

As for your comment about Disney land being overwhelming because of sensory overload, well that's why they can queue jump. What's your solution, stay at home and never leave the house. Because people like you resent those with needs jumping the queue. Sounds like a you problem.

My 4yo son has high functioning ASD. I took him to meet father Christmas in December, it was afternoon tea at the garden centre and meeting Santa. I looked for a SEN session but there weren't any in my area. He was so excited about going. We did prep beforehand, let him know what to expect, but I didn't know how we'd get on. Cgristnas activities are meticulously planned because when you have an ASD kid you cannot simply just go out and do something. We have to consider timing, location, how busy it is, how noisy is it, smells, time of day etc. When we got there he got spooked because it was "too noisy". He's particularly fussy with food but managed ok. Santa came out and the kids could go up 1 by 1 to meet him, choose a present. We joined the queue but it was long. People were spending ages up there and DS got upset with the noise and the queue feeling busy. That spooked him even more and then he felt scared and wanted to go home. I tried to convince him to stay but that led to a meltdown. So we left. We've never actually been able to do a Santa visit despite him wanting to do so. What's your suggestion OP. Keep all the autistic kids at home forever. If I'd been able to queue jump I would have.

My DC can queue ok mostly BUT cannot envisage what a ride might be like until they are in the loading zone (even if they have done it before). So a typical day at a theme park would involve a long queue followed by inability to get on a ride, leaving and joining another queue and refusing again for that one.

The pass was a godsend on our trip to Disney as there were so many rides he was unable to get on once we were at the loading area. Though in the end he liked an out of the way ride with practically no queue for anyone and we spent most of the day doing that one ride again and again and again and hardly using the pass at all, whilst we parents took turns to take his siblings on other rides (without the pass).

We also wouldn’t go in August.

OP, you need to develop some self-awareness. The whole tone of your post is suggesting families of disabled children are behaving unreasonably and claiming things they shouldn't. Attitudes like yours significantly contribute to the stress families of disabled children experience. There is research evidence demonstrating parents of autistic children are the most marginalised and stigmatised of any type of disability and other people's judgemental attitudes and failure to understand hidden disabilities contribute significantly to the stress families experience. Your attitudes cause harm to disabled families.

Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?

They are

HTH

Thanks - maybe now, but back when we went (years ago!) he wasn’t eligible as he only got middle rate care. Must have changed x

I'd also echo what previous poster said. Educate yourself. I'm fed up with trying to explain to people what Autism is or isn't. Plenty of information on the Web. Half the time noone listens and think they know better anyway.

Can I ask if you wanted to open a discussion with parents about their disabled DC why you accused parents of using their DC in the title?