Parents using their children’s disabilities to skip the queues at Disneyland

[satsumaqueen]

I know the title will probably infuriate some people, and I just want to say from the outset that I am not writing this thread to cause offence. I’m writing because I don’t have much experience with having children that have disabilities such as Autism and ADHD and I am genuinely curious and want to understand more.

I’ve been planning a trip to Disneyland Paris and have joined some groups on social media to get some tips etc. I’ve been really surprised at the amount of posts asking how to get a special pass from Disney so their children can skip the lines on all the rides.

I know there are some conditions which very obviously make it physically impossible to stand for a hour, however a lot of these posts are from parents whose children have ADHD or Autism. I also know there are varying levels of autism (my cousin is severely autistic), and I know there are numerous things that people with autism have to deal with like sensory overload etc, but there are also many forms of autism where people can function like every other person, and would have no issue in standing in a queue with everyone else.

ADHD I really have no experience with so can’t comment on it, but isn’t our job as parents to teach our children how to cope in society? Things like queues are part of every day life. Why does having ADHD excuse you from waiting like everyone else?

I know there will be many genuine requests for those passes, but I also feel because of the sheer volume of them, that a lot are trying to claim them because the parents can’t be bothered to wait in line and are using their child as a free way to skip the queues? This then impacts everyone else’s experience who then have to wait even longer in queues to accommodate all of the people skipping.

Shouldn't these passes be reserved for the people who really do need them?

I have young children, so believe me when I say I know what it’s like to stand in line for long periods of time with children who find it difficult to stand still/stand for long periods of time. I’m just struggling to understand why parents with toddlers have any less of a difficult time in the queues than those with children who have ADHD as a example, but they are expected to stand in line for a hour with no option to skip. - I will just add I’m not expecting parents with young children to skip the queue, I just don’t understand why a child with ADHD or mild autism (sorry if this is the incorrect terminology) couldn’t wait in the same queue as everyone else?

I think it's reasonable for kids who need it for whatever reason to skip the line but what I don't really understand is - for kids with ASD particularly, who get sensory overload and can't stand the crowds and noise etc - why take them somewhere like Disney anyway? Surely the whole bloody place is sensory overload even for NT people? Seems a bit nuts to me.
Whatever though. Each to their own
I won't be going with my kids because I'd be 100% overwhelmed (as would ADHD DS) other DC would probably love it though.

I have a ND DC. We haven't been to Disneyland yet, so haven't accessed a fast track queue.

OP, you asked about what a meltdown would look like. For my DC it would start by DV over analysing everything in the queue, and masking. DC would then start to get overwhelmed and would start to vocally and physically stim. There would be complaints from DC about how they hurt (this is due to hypermobility, but I'm sure it would look like lots of other children who say their legs legs hurt...)

After the stimming has ramped up, DC would start injuring themselves, usually punching themselves in the head/phase or digging their nails into their arms. They may also physically lash out at DH or me.

It's distressing to witness, and this has happened in short queues too. As a parent, you have the double edge sword of trying to help your DC, whilst putting up with the very obvious judgement from others stood around you. Sometimes, to make it worse, there's a 'well meaning' stranger who will try and intervene, and this will make it even worse for DC.

Things in queues likely to trigger this are; how they are already feeling that day, sounds, lights (this can even be sunlight), facial expressions from other people, interactions from strangers, closeness to anyone not on their list of safe people, fear of being touched as well as all other stimuli around them.

Because children with disabilities are also
children and want to go places like Disney, should they all just stay home or limit themselves to the local park?

My child spent two full back to back days at Paultons Park going on a ride for children quite a big younger than him on a loop. He was in heaven, as was DH who doesn't like rides, so he could sit and read a book all day in peace. That had zero queue but if it had been a busy ride, a pass would have been a total godsend as it would have enabled not just him but the whole family to enjoy their time. As it was, I could take the others on all the rides he wasn't willing to be anywhere near worrying that he was unhappy enough that we'd all need to leave without any special provision.

I understand what you are saying, We have taken our kids there because 1. They both like the rides and the shows.

1. Why should the youngest miss out on going places like this due to his brothers disability. We don't have anyone else to leave the eldest with.

They both had a great time but I don't think it would have been that great had we not had the card.

Op, do you know what inclusivity means? Yes, it is our job as parents to help our children navigate society, but when your child is ND that comes with certain barriers and challenges, all of which are unique to the child. Because of things like que passes, discount rates, disabled toilets, blue badges etc, families and their ND children get to experience those days out,Be it soft play or Disney land.

You may see queue jumping but what you don’t see is parents paying for an experience that their ND child may really struggle with and only spend minutes/an hour there, you don’t see the anxiety parents often feel as you don’t know how or what your child is going to react to. You don’t see the pure joy when your non verbal child is flapping his hands in excitement because they’ve just seen their favourite character or gone on a fun ride. You also don’t feel the heart aches when your ND child just can’t cope and you leave early. Again.

Just out of interest, why are you so bothered about SOME families benefiting from this? How does this affect your day to day life?

WOW, so being disabled means you are confined to only going on days out in the rain?

Autistic people can not learn to queue through exposure therapy. It’s not something they can grasp. Queueing puts them in an intolerable sensory situation that they will never learn to handle. Accommodating them in this way isn’t a big issue. It’s about equity providing equality of opportunity.

For many people with autism or similar the rides at these attractions provides them with the a positive sensory feedback they can’t get elsewhere.

they may struggle with the environment overall but with reasonable adjustments they can get the sensation their body needs from the rides and cope with the environment

Whats interesting about Disney is that it’s far easier for people from the UK to get special access passes at Disneyland Paris than any other nationality. They ask for certain proof of disability which varies depending on which country you live in, the UK one is the easiest as some of the cards they accept as proof of disability don’t actually require proof of your disability when you apply for them. For some reason all the other nationality requirements are a lot stricter and require proof of certain disability benefits.

I’m going to get roasted here, however I think this loophole for the UK get abused a lot and it’s not fair. I have a family member who is severely disabled, he’s an adult but has profound special needs and mentally is similar to a 18 month to 2 year. Physically he’s not too bad, in that he can walk although he has problems with depth perception and has scoliosis and arthritis in his hips and spine. He is also severely autistic as well as have many other conditions. Disney is his favourite place, but it’s hard work with him. Over the last few years, since the Disney access card system has changed and its become easier for UK visitors to get access cards to Disabled areas it’s become a lot harder for him. The queues in the disabled areas have got significantly longer for him to go on rides, sometimes to the extent it would actually be quicker to go into the standard queue. Unfortunately he isn’t able to use the standard queue as he is obviously visibly disabled and they won’t allow him to use anything but the disabled queue incase he needs assistance at some point. The disability viewing areas for parades etc are now so crammed you often can’t see properly and the disabled queues for character meets are so long we’ve had to give up on him meeting characters (his favourite thing to do) because he physically cannot queue for the length of time he’d need to queue in order to see one. Something needs to change and their system needs a complete overhaul. Those with severe disabilities or medical conditions (I’m aware Disney runs a two tier system - however its needs to be more structured across the whole park and across all areas) need to be prioritised.

No of course they shouldn't have to stay at home UNLESS they wouldn't enjoy it. Which it sort of seems like they wouldn't?

From the number of replies on this thread from the parents of ND children the access pass queue must be longer than the standard queue.

I wasn't aware of these passes when I took my DC's to a theme park but was just lucky with the timings summer evening so stayed late after most families with children would have gone home for tea, bath and 7pm bedtime but never wanted the Disney characters just the rides.
Two of my DC's and I got our autism diagnoses as adults (I had probably been masking for years and I thought DC's behaviour was normal and just different than other children).

Children with disabilities are individuals, plenty of them enjoy places like Disney fine. A group local to me runs a trip there every year and the children love it.
You say you have experience of disabilities so maybe it’s worth realising that it’s a massive spectrum.

What about my child? When we went to Disneyland, we got a queue pass because I am unable to queue for various health reasons, should my daughter miss out on experiences because her mum is disabled? Or should there be a system to enable equal access for all, regardless of disability status. Would you prefer that disabled adults and children stay locked up in their homes all the time? So their existence doesn't have any negative impact on your experiences? Do you honestly believe that the world shouldn't make adjustments for disabled people?

Type 1 diabetes is hard work, you NEVER get a break, I’ve had it for 30 years. Keeping your blood sugar levels correct at somewhere like Disney is not easy and having to queue for a long time could mean you hypo and then can’t even get on the ride.Or your levels go so high you need to use the toilet every 10 minutes and feel exhausted…it’s an invisible nightmare. Can’t comment on anything else

Edit to add, I have never used my type 1 to skip a queue or anything else. I don’t need to but I suffer because of it, and if my child had it I 100% would.

It's a massive spectrum some will enjoy it others won't but you can't generalise.

🥱🥱🥱 what a ridiculous post. You have absolutely no idea what it's like to be the parent of a disabled child. Be grateful your child is healthy, neurotypical and able-bodied and mind your business.

Children with autism and adhd often don't understand waiting and it is a very long process to help them manage. What normal children can learn by 3 or 4 can still be a learning process for autistic and adhd children well into their teens.

My 8 year old really struggles waiting, part of the issue with queues is there's no definitive end time to help using visuals. Often you cant see the front of the queue removing another visual. He spends the whole time panicking and getting increasingly distressed and physical.

My other autistic child lives for queues, loves them but for many it is a very very long process.

You also don't skip the queue, you just wait outside of it.

Ironically my ND son would hate the local park because of the bugs, dirt etc... 😂 but loves Disney I think a lot of ND people do. I think the parks are laid out in such a clever way, highly structured, predictable, safe high sensory input for sensory seekers, same characters with the same safe facial expressions etc ...

Thanks for your reply and the way you have explained it. It didn’t cross my mind that forcing people to wait would make it seem like theme parks weren’t accessible to them. I’m just coming from a different angle as I don’t have children with those additional needs, so for me it’s hard to understand why it would be any different, but you are right that my 3 year old wouldn’t think he wasn’t able to go back to the zoo or Disney because he had to queue, but your daughter may feel that way if she is made to feel uncomfortable for long periods of time.

You mean your DH USED your disabled child so he could spend the day going round and round a toddler ride reading a book. How very dare he! He should find a corner of a pub to read his book, sit by a quiet pool with a glass in hand, or potter around interesting shops and cafes in an ancient town - the sort of things adults without disabled children are expected to put up with.

I'm with you on this it is one of my life's biggest bugbears.

T1 kids become T1 adults, who have to do all of that themselves, and at that point if they are deemed to be managing just fine (which is a pretty low bar) then bam, nothing. There is no support for a T1 adult without pretty severe complications. It doesn't suddenly become 'not 24/7' once you hit 16.

I'm not a parent of a T1, and I can imagine that it's hard, it's not saying they shouldn't get DLA or whatever, but it should be consistent across child and adult needs. Sorry but here is no way it is harder than actually having to manage it yourself whilst going through the feeling a bit crappy if your levels go out of whack, especially as a young adult you get more fluctuating hormones that can impact blood sugar, you bear the burden of the costs of living and other daily stressors that again impact levels, living away from home/on your own for the first time etc. You have the same real risk that getting your half hourly mental maths challenge wrong leaves you unalive and oftentimes you don't have anyone else watching out for you. You are bearing all the same costs as the parent of a T1 kid does, but no support whatsoever.

I imagine this is similar for higher functioning autism and ADHD adults (sorry if that's not the correct term, i'm referring to people who can hold down reasonably well paid full time jobs, at the expense of their energy and ability to enjoy life fully, much the same as is common with Type 1), whereby at 16 you are deemed and adult and unless you need a carer to take you to the toilet there's no support out there for you.

That said, I (as a long term T1) don't think it warrants queue jumping at the theme park. Reasonable adjustments would be keeping supplies with you for as long as reasonably practicable (where they take the bags off you in the line should be at the last minute anyway but if it's not then you should be allowed to keep food and drink to treat an impending low), and being able to take your own food and drink if it's one of those places that forces you to bin it all in order to buy their overpriced tat. It's what us T1 adults have to do if we like rollercoasters.

DS2 is registered blind (CVI) so would qualify. He is capable of queuing but he couldn’t navigate the park by himself, he couldn’t exit in an emergency by himself etc. From Disney’s perspective it is probably safer to make it easier for him and a companion to access the park and the rides quickly than have him stuck in a large queue if an emergency happened.

@YaWeeFurryBastard absolutely, I have no problem with anyone getting a pass if they need one, I just didn’t understand at the time of writing of this how having some conditions mean that children have no ability to queue. That’s why I asked this question.

I know I have caused offence to alot of people which I really didn’t mean to do, I just wanted to understand why someone with a condition such as ADHD can’t wait in line with everyone else when not all people diagnosed with ADHD or autism will need to skip the line. It just seemed the group I was on that regardless of whether their child needed the pass they were going to apply for one anyway because they had that condition, and as you said it just means that some people now can’t access these passes or have to wait in longer lines themselves when the reality is they should be straight to the front.

Like you said you haven’t got a clue, @satsumaqueen.

Your NT children find it boring waiting around and that’s about it. Mild inconvenience for an hour. You’re able to teach your children to wait. Meanwhile the child pushing in front of you with their shiny access card struggles with many things your children breeze through in life… like queues for a start.