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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wish I said something at the time

284 replies

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 01/02/2025 20:58

I think you are overthinking.

You see it as fun your child running after an unknown child. Unknown child doesn't know your child and doesn't like them running after her, so says stop. She doesn't know your child and doesn't know her intentions are harmless.

Not sure what you would have said here other than sorry for upsetting your child 🤷

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:01

@Moonnstars my child didn't run after her, as in behind her. She ran beside her. She wasn't screaming or anything. Literally just running beside her.

I get your point, but that's okay for the other child to push another child who hasn't hurt them?

OP posts:
KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 21:01

Who would you have said something to?? Neither the child nor her parents owed you an apology, you’re being really weird to think they did.
They didn’t find your child as adorable as you do 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:02

@Moonnstars I'm so baffled by you thinking I had to apologise for upsetting the child when my child was pushed? Sorry what!

OP posts:
Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:03

Your child may have been trying to join in, but the other child obviously didn’t want to be joined and make friends. What you see as harmless upset the other child. No the other child shouldn’t have pushed and she got told off for that, but your child also needs to learn that she can’t just join in with everyone and not every one will want to play with her. She definitely shouldn’t be running off from you in a shop so that you lose sight of her.

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:04

@KilkennyCats I didn't want them to say anything to me, it wouldn't normally phase me. But it's okay for a child to push another child? Maybe I'm just thinking from my point of view because I'd like to think my child wouldn't push anyone with or without reason

OP posts:
KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 21:05

The parents told her to stop, what else do you want from them?

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:05

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:03

Your child may have been trying to join in, but the other child obviously didn’t want to be joined and make friends. What you see as harmless upset the other child. No the other child shouldn’t have pushed and she got told off for that, but your child also needs to learn that she can’t just join in with everyone and not every one will want to play with her. She definitely shouldn’t be running off from you in a shop so that you lose sight of her.

Edited

She didn't run off to the point I lost sight, I knew where she was, it just took me 2 seconds after her to get to the corner

OP posts:
Lammveg · 01/02/2025 21:07

What do you want from this thread? Not everyone is as social as your child and that's fine. Sure, the child shouldn't have pushed yours but equally your daughter needs to learn that not everyone wants to play with her.

2025willbemytime · 01/02/2025 21:08

You calling a child nasty is awful.

She was possibly unnerved at a random girl running after her.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 01/02/2025 21:09

Can't actually believe you are obsessing over this complete non event hours later

pikkumyy77 · 01/02/2025 21:09

You couldn’t control your child and didn’t apologize to the parents and they couldn’t control their child and didn’t apologize to you.

You really don’t know ehat happened—your child may have bumped into theirs and then she quite naturally pushed back on your child and said stop.

really not worth agonizing over.

Spirallingdownwards · 01/02/2025 21:09

Your child was overwhelming another who went into defensive mode. The parents were calling their child's name and saying stop it.

Explain to your child (yourself?!) that not everyone is as social as her nor do they want to play in the same way as her. Most likely she scared the other child even by just running alongside them.

You would like to think your child wouldn't push another without reason but you don't seem to realise your child has potentially scared this child - to that child without reason.

The only thing you need to have said at the time is sorry if my child has upset yours.

purpleme12 · 01/02/2025 21:10

They said stop it

She's going to get lots of these incidents in her life

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:10

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:05

She didn't run off to the point I lost sight, I knew where she was, it just took me 2 seconds after her to get to the corner

Show quote history

Are you sure? Your OP says that she did When I turn the corner my daughter has run round

Moonnstars · 01/02/2025 21:11

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:01

@Moonnstars my child didn't run after her, as in behind her. She ran beside her. She wasn't screaming or anything. Literally just running beside her.

I get your point, but that's okay for the other child to push another child who hasn't hurt them?

You said the parents told her to stop.
I am not sure what else you want from this?

It's a shop, not a park. Not every child wants to play and your daughter needs to recognise this. They are only little and saying stop was perhaps being ignored by your child who seemed to think it was great fun.

movingonsaturday · 01/02/2025 21:11

The child was just expressing her boundaries but isn't old enough to do it in a polite way yet. Pfb much!

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:13

Point being your dd wasn’t exactly the best behaved child either. Young children are going to do things like this. Your child isn’t always going to be the angel you think she is, and other children will occasionally do things like this too.

DarkHollowTree · 01/02/2025 21:13

Not sure wtf is up with everyone on this thread!!
I would have 100% made my child apologise if I saw them being less than kind to another kid, especially one younger. If not I'd have atleast said sorry on their behalf and probably left the shop mortified!

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:14

@DarkHollowTree thank you!

OP posts:
RoseofRoses · 01/02/2025 21:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Drearycommuter · 01/02/2025 21:15

When my daughter was that age she was a biter. We did lots of telling off and removing from the situation but still at nursery I'd pick her up and she'd have bitten five friends that day. My other daughter is at school with lots of boisterous kids and there's no doubt shoving and pushing.

Sounds like the parents addressed it although I agree I would have apologised. But it sounds a bit stressful and I'm guessing everyone went their own way? I know it's not nice to see but it happens.

Onlyvisiting · 01/02/2025 21:16

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:04

@KilkennyCats I didn't want them to say anything to me, it wouldn't normally phase me. But it's okay for a child to push another child? Maybe I'm just thinking from my point of view because I'd like to think my child wouldn't push anyone with or without reason

But the other child did gave a reason, she wasn't comfortable with what she was doing/how close she was and wanted her to go further away. Obviously in an ideal shoving her away isn't necessary but they ARE TODDLERS! It's a completely normal way for a small child to express themselves, and actually saying what she wants ie go away, seems pretty good and mature to me. She could have just screamed and started hitting....so unless the other child was a lot older then I think this is a completely non event, and she was not a 'nasty child' for not wanting your dc in her space.
And yes, I think any apology (and honestly, nothing more than an exchange of smiles and a casual word would be necessary) should have come from you just as much as them as your child made theirs uncomfortable.

Hattieandcake · 01/02/2025 21:16

Pushing is not ok and they should have said sorry about pushing but it’s not that much of a big deal, worse is going to happen!

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:16

So my child can't be herself is what everyone is trying to say? I'll have to tell my TWO year old that not everyone wants to be friends. Which I do, in the park if she wants to play with other children who don't, I say ask nicely and if they say no that's okay. But again, she's 2. Do you think she fully understands boundaries? But does she really deserve to be pushed? No im sorry she doesn't.

If we all have two year olds we fully control in a toy shop of all places, im open to your tips and tricks

OP posts:
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