Wish I said something at the time

[Shannon9955]

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

Oh, and the way you control a two-year-old in a shop is by picking her up or keeping her on reins until you can trust her not to run off.

I think you need to give the other kid the same grace you’re giving yours.
Your child is social.
The other child may not be.
Your child wanted to run with the other child.
The other child didn’t like that.
Shoving isn’t ideal but toddler shove and the parents told the child to stop it. Job done. She’s not nasty she’s holding a boundary the only way she knows how.

I have a shy, introverted and easily overwhelmed child. I HATE it when other parents assume she will want to engage with their little darlings because I know how that’s going to go. We’re working on it but in this instance, while I would absolutely tell her off for shoving, my instinct would not be to apologise to the parent of the other child or the other child, it would be to remove my own child from the situation that had upset her.

Honestly you’re overthinking this.
don’t even bring it up to a 2 year old to discuss, just forget about it and concentrate on her enjoying her new toy.

Your child shouldn’t have been running off in a shop.

This sounds like a non event. What exactly is it you think you should have said? The parents told her to stop and if your child is at a stage of running off I would have them in a buggy or a trolley until they understand

I’m another one who wouldn’t be letting my child run around in a shop. Sorry but in this instance this is your issue.

OP you have over thought this. You’re in for a shock when it comes to playground antics at school

But you are saying the other child can’t be herself and protect her boundaries that another child invades, possibly giving her a fright??? The parents told her to stop. If any apology is necessary I think it should come from YOU for allowing this to happen to the other child but in the adult world you all just say “no harm done’ and move on and forget

Was this other child around the same age, i.e. 2/3? If so, whilst ideally no-one wants it, it really isn't at all unusual for them to push another child who is intruding into their space. You need to think about teaching your child that not every child wants to play with her and she needs to respect that.

Imagine if OP took 2 year old to soft play.... 🙈
Good luck!
It's dog eat dog in soft play.

What are you wanting people to say?! You just disagree with everyone that says something. Just because YOU think it’s fine it doesn’t mean the other little girl did. It’s a minor little thing that’s happened, ridiculously inconsequential.

Im assuming this is your first child? You’ve done miraculously to get to 2yo without a similar ‘upsetting’ incident and I guarantee there will be many more.
On the flip side, I can imagine the parents on the other side of this making a thread about how a young girl was harassing their shy child until their child eventually pushed them away and the other parent did nothing about it.
Honestly, complete overreaction.

For people on here saying a child shouldn't be running off in a shop. How on earth do you go your day to day? How do you teach independence? I'm not going to rein her up at every event unless she gives valid reason to. She was beside me the rest of the time, it was that one spilt second and I mean it was seconds. I had my 8 month old with me. I'm not taking my awful huge double pram just to suit a 15 minute trip. She has to learn somehow

And events like this will help her learn…

@RedRoss86 imagine I do go to soft play

Well you’ve contradicted yourself a bit there. You’re right, you didn’t need to stand there and make it a big thing! So, no, you shouldn’t have said anything, and neither should the other parents because they already told their daughter “no”. When yours is 4-5 you’ll realise how young that still is.

You rightly expect people to make allowances for your child, but you don't seem to be prepared to make the same allowances for this other child. Objectively, this seems a relatively painless way for your child to begin to learn about boundaries.

I'm not really sure what the problem is here. The parents told their child to stop. Why would you need to say anything else..? I definitely think you're overthinking!

Kids squabbling is pretty normal, just part of growing up and learning boundaries, get over it

Don't think on it anymore OP. Your child isn't thinking about it - she is probably having far too much fun with her new toy.

End of thread!

I didn't like seeing my child being pushed, she's two, she doesn't know. She saw fun, she joined. She didn't know right or wrong. In her eyes it was fun. That doesn't make me a rubbish parent. I just didn't like turning to see my daughter being pushed. That is all!

She’s 2. You don’t actually need her to be independent as such right now. You need her to be able to walk beside you and not run off.

I had an absconder. He was way too independent. He wouldn’t run about in a dangerous way but he would get lost. That is, I thought he was lost — he was fine. Yes, I put him in reins every time we went out until I was sure that he would walk beside me. And we went to the park or just ran around in the garden every day too.

Unless we're in an open space which is appropriate for running, my 2 year old is on reins. He can hold the pram but if he refuses or attempts to run then reins it is with a reminder that we don't run in shops.

We've done this since 18 months and he's not as likely to run now.

You're taking this waaaaay out of proportion, and I don't think you'll realise this until your DD is 4/5 and in school and this sort of situation happens every day. And it happens because 4 or 5 is still very young, and children this age still lack the skills to negotiate interacting with other people. That child in the toy shop looked big and capable next to your little girl, but she isn't - she's still very little, very immature and not well versed in shooing off other kids she's not interested in. She may even have been younger than you estimate, it's not always easy to tell, some kids are big for their age. You may not have liked her behaviour to your child but it actually wasn't that inappropriate for her age.

Please just let it go and forget about it, it's a tiny blip in your DD's childhood. My DS got pushed in toddler group by a bratty kid (aged four and definitely with a lot of form), I shrugged it off because these things happen with kids, they're learning how to be civilised but it's a long process. Honestly, don't sweat the small stuff. (And in time you'll probably be relieved you didn't say anything to her parents - far better than saying something you regret...)

You are very correct.

It's not what people are saying.

It's all OP can hear though. Which speaks volumes.