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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wish I said something at the time

284 replies

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:27

Spirallingdownwards · 01/02/2025 21:25

Yes you should have said something.

Sorry my child has upset yours to the piunt she feels she need to protect herself.

No in reality the other child's parents told their child No. You should have done the same to yours.

I did tell my child no when we walked away. I didn't need to stand there and make it a big thing telling her off. I got her hand and we walked and as we walked I said you have to stay with mummy

OP posts:
Spurber · 01/02/2025 21:27

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:25

I would say about 4/5 years old

Show quote history

You'll realise when your child is that age how that doesn't mean they suddenly know how they should handle situations. She wanted the little girl to leave her alone.

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:27

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:24

@Overthebow I didn't tell her off no, I simply said we can't run away. Please stay by mummy. I don't think I needed to tell her off angrily

You don’t have to get angry whilst telling a child off. Did you tell her off for getting too close/in the way of the other child?

Spurber · 01/02/2025 21:28

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:16

So my child can't be herself is what everyone is trying to say? I'll have to tell my TWO year old that not everyone wants to be friends. Which I do, in the park if she wants to play with other children who don't, I say ask nicely and if they say no that's okay. But again, she's 2. Do you think she fully understands boundaries? But does she really deserve to be pushed? No im sorry she doesn't.

If we all have two year olds we fully control in a toy shop of all places, im open to your tips and tricks

Are you saying the FOUR year old can't be herself?

TanginaBarrons · 01/02/2025 21:29

You saying "what a nasty child" about a 4/5 year old is the only thing that is not ok about any of this. You are seriously lacking self awareness if you spin this any other way.

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:29

@Overthebow no I didn't tell her off for that. Because what if my child was just walking close to another child unaware. I have to tell her off for walking to close to someone else? Does that not send mix messages? "Oh I can't walk or run to close to anyone in case they push me and I have to say sorry" I'm sorry but no

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:30

Pushing someone is nasty, I stand by that. It my child pushed someone I would also say that's a nasty thing to do

OP posts:
Whoknew24 · 01/02/2025 21:30

As a mother of 4 I think you’re overreacting. Child was in a bubble having fun, your daughter joined in and the child didn’t want that, so reacted in a way young children sometimes do.

Not sure if this is your only child, but if it is buckle up for everything to come, this is minor.

Barbadosgirl · 01/02/2025 21:30

My fave sort of thread. “Am I being unreasonable?” “Yes.” “No I am not and here are all the reasons why.”

Spirallingdownwards · 01/02/2025 21:31

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:27

I did tell my child no when we walked away. I didn't need to stand there and make it a big thing telling her off. I got her hand and we walked and as we walked I said you have to stay with mummy

Show quote history

The that's all that needed saying.

They told their child no.

You told your child no but just for running away. It's too late now because it has to be in the moment when they are this young but you could have explained how not all children will want to play with her and that's okay too.

The other child was not "nasty".

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:32

Whoknew24 · 01/02/2025 21:30

As a mother of 4 I think you’re overreacting. Child was in a bubble having fun, your daughter joined in and the child didn’t want that, so reacted in a way young children sometimes do.

Not sure if this is your only child, but if it is buckle up for everything to come, this is minor.

My first child yes, but I am a mother of 2. I also have a 8 month old as well as my 2 year old

OP posts:
Ifellgretta · 01/02/2025 21:32

To be honest I think you should have apologised to them for allowing your daughter to run after the other little , who clearly didn't want to play.

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:33

I'll inform my child from tomorrow to apologise for thinking she was in a race in a toy shop and got carried away and ran alongside someone. I'll make sure she understands this and says sorry for just running

OP posts:
Banyon · 01/02/2025 21:34

Just like puppies at the dog park … the kids are learning to socialize. Sometimes you get it right, it’s great, everyone smiles so you do it again.
Sometimes you chase another, get too close and they shout “get away” and then you don’t do it again.

it’s all learning how to get along.
No big deal

Spurber · 01/02/2025 21:34

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:33

I'll inform my child from tomorrow to apologise for thinking she was in a race in a toy shop and got carried away and ran alongside someone. I'll make sure she understands this and says sorry for just running

Don't be ridiculous. You can't teach a two year old about something that happened yesterday

ScaredyMa · 01/02/2025 21:34

@Shannon9955 Sorry if this is harsh but you really need to wise up before DC goes off to School, otherwise you're in for a real shock!

TanginaBarrons · 01/02/2025 21:35

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:30

Pushing someone is nasty, I stand by that. It my child pushed someone I would also say that's a nasty thing to do

You really think that a 4 yr old has the critical thinking to think they are being nasty by acting on impulse when they are feeling overwhelmed? Not to mention that you have no idea about any ND that this child may have (moot but my ND child would not have coped with this at 4). Labelling this behaviour as a "nasty child" is pot and kettle tbh.

You have a lot to learn 🙄

SquishyGloopyBum · 01/02/2025 21:35

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:33

I'll inform my child from tomorrow to apologise for thinking she was in a race in a toy shop and got carried away and ran alongside someone. I'll make sure she understands this and says sorry for just running

Oh wow.

You are taking this very personally.

You are going to have a rough time parenting with this attitude.

Vaxtable · 01/02/2025 21:35

YABU. You have to remember that you don’t know the other child, who may well be ND and felt threatened, even though your child meant no harm

and not all children like other children. Your child needs to be taught she can’t just join in without being asked

Its a complete non event and I simply don’t get why you are brooding in it hours kater

Let it go, focus on getting your child not to join in unless asked

Tobycarvery11 · 01/02/2025 21:36

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:33

I'll inform my child from tomorrow to apologise for thinking she was in a race in a toy shop and got carried away and ran alongside someone. I'll make sure she understands this and says sorry for just running

You clearly are on the defence and don't actually care whether you're in the right or wrong, because you've already made your mind up.

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:36

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:29

@Overthebow no I didn't tell her off for that. Because what if my child was just walking close to another child unaware. I have to tell her off for walking to close to someone else? Does that not send mix messages? "Oh I can't walk or run to close to anyone in case they push me and I have to say sorry" I'm sorry but no

She wasn’t just walking too close though was she, she ran after the kid as she thought she was joining in a game. But it wasn’t a game, the other kid didn’t want to be joined. She told her to go away, your child wasn’t going away. Your child needs to learn boundaries.

Overthebow · 01/02/2025 21:37

Also your child shouldn’t be racing in a toy shop.

Hwi · 01/02/2025 21:37

Some people are swines. Some children are swines and graceless. Don't worry too much, nothing to be done.

hamsandyams · 01/02/2025 21:38

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:16

So my child can't be herself is what everyone is trying to say? I'll have to tell my TWO year old that not everyone wants to be friends. Which I do, in the park if she wants to play with other children who don't, I say ask nicely and if they say no that's okay. But again, she's 2. Do you think she fully understands boundaries? But does she really deserve to be pushed? No im sorry she doesn't.

If we all have two year olds we fully control in a toy shop of all places, im open to your tips and tricks

So it’s okay for you not to have full control of your toddler, but the other parents should have had theirs under full control?

I’m yet to meet a toddler that doesn’t in their life even once need to be reminded about having gentle hands and not pushing/hitting/pinching other kids who are upsetting them. The other parents corrected their child… what other outcome would you have hoped for by “saying something”?

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:38

@Overthebow I'm sorry, but what parenting tips do you have that kids are so well behaved and stay by your side 24/7. Please give the tips of this

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