Wish I said something at the time

[Shannon9955]

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

Yes. That's correct. Your child can't just 'be herself' she needs to be socialised. The other girl didn't want someone running next to her. Would you like it if some random stranger started walking alongside you? If you would, then all good. But if you wouldn't, the random stranger needs to stop.

Your DD is going to be pushed and shouted at many times in their life and you can’t get this worked up every time

the other parents should have addressed it more but maybe like you they didn’t say it in the heat of the moment, maybe they are also mulling it over

but altogether a non event

Both very young children, I wouldn’t dwell on it any further OP x

Not everyone is on their A game all the time and can think about how to respond to every situation perfectly.
Tbh I wouldn't have let my child run off along side another child, it's a little weird.
You were the rubbish parent in this situation.

@Shannon9955 But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child.

Are you seriously complaining about a very young toddler being rude?

And was that toddler even being rude? She didn't consent to being chased, so she was just expressing her dislike for what was going on. It was your child who chased her, so should you not have been doing the apologising?

So if your 2 year old doesn't understand boundaries it's fair to say the other small child also didn't understand boundaries, hence the pushing.

Honestly, give your head a wobble. It was a non event

I understand the protectiveness, at the end of the day she’s your baby and you will forever want to protect her, but at the end of the day neither of them “should be running” and the other child should not have been pushing. However, kids will be kids and it sounds like she was told off for it. You don’t really know if there’s a background to why the other child reacted the way they did but reason or not they are still learning and sometimes the boot will be on the other foot (in that she’s in the wrong, not violent). I think not saying anything to the other child and telling yours running away from mummy/running in the shop isn’t ok because of XY and Z would be the best way to handle the situation x

OP read the room. You have come on here to ask for advise and everyone is saying that your child wasn’t perfect either, that calling another young child nasty isn’t okay, that you changed stories about how far your daughter was from you, since you had to turn a corner you don’t know what your daughter did before , that the other parents reacted in exactly the right way and that your child may have scared the other child or they didn’t like what she was doing.

Until you can see the whole picture and not just how your daughter was wronged and how this other child was nasty there is no point in responding to you.

Running alongside after no interaction would feel very odd for this child. She expressed it badly but your child, a complete stranger, invaded her space without warning. You'll have ongoing issues of this type if you can't stop your child running off with total strangers like this.

Totally agree and can’t believe how far I had to scroll to find this. Do people seriously watch their kids push or hurt another child and not even ask them to apologise? Wow ok…

Aww, I have some sympathy because this reminds me of something that happened when my eldest daughter was 2.
A friend and I took our daughters (same age) to the supermarket and put them in a double-seated trolley. My daughter was looking at her friend in such a happy and excited way, absolutely thrilled to be riding beside her.
Unfortunately said friend didn't share the love She was probably tired and cranky and started slapping my daughter. Her little face was so shocked and confused.
My daughter is 23 now and I have never forgotten this!

However, OP, you must try and forget about it. It's just kids, it's not personal and no big deal. And honestly, it won't be the last time something like this happens, so try to brace yourself!

Your little girl thought the other girl was racing but how is the other girl supposed to know that? She may have thought your daughter was chasing her and so she reacted.

Your daughter shouldn't have ran off (toy shop or not) and yes, the other girl shouldn't have pushed her.

Kids will be kids.

She is 2!

I actually do agree the other parent should have apologised, but at the end of the day they didn't. Either way it's done now and what would saying something have done? Shes blown it way out of proportion, with the added point that she only saw what the other child did and actually dosnt know if hers did anything first

You’ve got a lot of this coming down the road OP if you’re going to make a mountain out of a molehill each time

The other little girl was chastised by her parents for pushing your child. There was nothing for you to say.

I can see that it’s upsetting to see your daughter experience that when she is just being her friendly self, but I actually do find your reaction a bit upsetting in turn. To jump to thinking the child is ‘nasty’ is quite depressing when she be neurodiverse. Your highly social, trained in a week at two daughter is possibly a very different child to parent, and I think you were judgmental. It’s not nice for your daughter, but the reality of the world is that she won’t always be met with a pleasant reaction, whether for reasons of people having their own issues or of people being unkind. Now, of course you can’t really explain that to her now and I wouldn’t try to. I’d just say maybe the other girl was upset about something else or having a bad day and shrug it off. But while it’s not something your daughter can really understand at this time, I would have expected you as a adult to understand it without overreacting or judging.

Good luck with school and even worse when she starts to use your phone for "Whatsapp" group messaging.... this sort of thing is constant.... not everyone is a social butterfly....the other child should have been made to apologise for pushing but equally as your small person matures they need to learn how to respect others boundaries

Idontjetwashthefucker

Can't actually believe you are obsessing over this complete non event hours later

that’s what parents do, and why mn exists- we’ve all done it!!

Incidentally if I were the other parent I definitely would have apologised, but I also wouldn’t have let my daughter race off either. She’s not easy to control but I would physically restrain her from racing round a shop yes.

The other girl is little too. You are WELL overthinking this.

Both sets of parents should have stopped the running. It’s not really safe in a shop.

And as for the pushing, it’s just a means of communicating at that age. In another situation your daughter may well have done the same.

Saying something would have accomplished nothing. It’s all over now. Just forget it.

Not all of us.

We've been trying to potty train for 6 months, on and offs she most definitely wasn't trained in a week first try, I bloody wish. It just happened this week we've been really strict with it and somehow the penny has dropped for her and she's managed to do it. Hence why we were at the toy shop today getting her a well deserved reward

Yes you should have said something to your dc at time. I wouldn’t have been happy at dc running off. Mine did it once in shop as a toddler and she was told off and we came straight home. She never did it again.

I think you’re very lucky if you have got to the age of two and this incident phases you. By the time dd was two she’d come home with a massive scratch down her face and bite marks from nursery and was actually shouted at by a grown male in a soft play for touching a toy. My ds, who was in the top 1 percentile from birth and was always taller/looks older, hasn’t stood a chance because kids and adults always thought he’s older and have treated him as such, with rough and tumble part of his daily encounters with older boys. On a scale of 0-10, this seems like a zero incident. I tend to “say something” at an 8 or above.