Wish I said something at the time

[Shannon9955]

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

I would be more concerned about telling my own child off for running off in a shop out of sight. Far more of an issue than a non event between two small children and a lot more dangerous

You’re just not listening are you? Nobody is saying it’s ok to push. Nobody is saying your child can’t be herself. They just said maybe the other kid just didn’t want an unknown child chasing them/running beside them/ following them (or however else you want to describe it). Either way you’re totally overthinking it. Perhaps take your toddlers approach because she probably forgot about it hours ago and moved on.

A 4 year old (who may actually be younger than that) is not nasty. They are learning too. Pushing was wrong and she shouldn’t have done it, but she got told off for it and she will learn. I bet your child does something similar at some point, they all do.

I agree with the majority of posters here.
With all respect, for someone who's willingly come on here to ask for advice & opinions, you're giving awfully sarcastic and defensive responses 🤷‍♀️ so why ask?

So she was out of sight.

What on earth would you have said and what would it have accomplished?

I’d normally say nobody wants to be ‘that’ parent, but I can see you already are…

I think you handled it well in the moment op. Don't overthink it now - no, you shouldn't have said something.

They were both little kids behaving as little kids do. 4 year olds may look big when your kid is 2 but they're not much older than toddlers themselves, they don't have the maturity or communication skills to stop and politely request that someone leaves them alone.

In terms of allowing a kid to run around a shop, I didn't personally - hands would have to be held, reins used or the pushchair there as back up if they didn't stay by my side.

Hold her hand next time. A shop isn’t the place for “just running”.
If you hadn’t allowed her to run ahead out of sight none of this nonsense would have happened.

Yes pushing shouldn't happen. But they're small children for goodness sake. Children can't fully express themselves with their words, so they use actions etc. just remember this event when your child pushes someone, as they definitely will!!

Even a non-ND child might be uncomfortable with this

Get a wrist strap rein, I have one for my toddler and she asks to wear it, keeps us close but gives her some space to feel like she's roaming free, about £10 I don't go out without it.

The other parents told their child to stop though didn't they? It's then for them to deal with it, not for you to say something to a 4 year old

It's not ok, that's why the other parents told their child to stop it.
But young children do push each other because they are still learning. Your child will no doubt push another kid at some point and you will tell her to stop
Let them parent their child, you parent yours by explaining the other girl doesn't want to play, let's go

Said what? To whom?

Honestly, OP, your child is two. Buckle up for the years ahead.

My autistic DD runs away and would not appreciate anyone running with her!

Nothing personal.

Chill.

Hm. You're going to be "that" parent, aren't you.

My 6 year old neice was called a bitch by another kid when I took her to soft play today..

Things happen, people aren't always nice you're going to have to grow a thicker skin, I imagine you wouldn't sleep for a week if the above ever happens to your child.

Not nice to push for sure especially as an older child but don't worry about it or feel bad you didn't say anything; it's very hard to react in the right way in the moment. Even now given thinking time what could you say that wouldn't have escalated everything? If a child is continuing to push mine I'd say - 'excuse me, stop that please, it isn't kind to push.' But if they've already stopped by the time you get there, as it sounds like happened, not much you can do. Don't beat yourself up about it, letting kids resolve issues themselves apparently builds their emotional resilience (within reason of course).

It is 2 little girls being 2 little girls.

Their little girl shouldn't have run off
Your little girl shouldn't have run off
Both sets of parent should have had them by the hand
The other girl shouldn't have pushed yours
Her parents should have told her not to (they did)
You should have told yours not to run off (you did)
There is no harm done.

There will be a day in soft play or nursery when your little girl sends someone flying. You'll tell her not to, explain it's not nice. You won't appreciate the other mother calling her nasty.

They are all just learning.

Your child should 100% be pushed if she is making another TWO year old uncomfortable.
It is mad that you think it's ok for your toddler to act like one and expect other peoples toddlers to be like adult saints and get along with any annoying child.

Btw yes I encouraged my daughter since she was 1 to push awy and yell NO to anyone who made her feel uncomfortable. No need to tolerate grabbing, biting, chasing whatever

No she doesn't deserve to be pushed but sometimes these things happen. You wait till your baby is 2 and see how she is towards her older sibling and how your then 4 year old is towards little sister - you will see plenty of argy bargy. It's just normal young child behaviour, it's not nasty, they are learning, it's an opportunity to guide them.

And with regard to the boundaries, again, it's up to you to enforce if you think it matters. For example on a pavement by a busy road. In a toy shop I don't think it matters if they run off. (Within reason obviously).

You don’t know what your child did to the other one in the seconds you lost sight of her. Maybe she grabbed her or something?

It’s useful for your child to learn early some people will adore her and want her attentions. Others will feel the complete opposite.