To think the young are less interested in sex, relationships and children

[Dappy777]

Is it just me or do young people seem less interested in relationships than we were? It isn't so much that the young aren't settling down, more that relationships no longer seem the focus point of their lives. Rather than seeing relationships as life's central joy, they're increasingly viewed as a danger – something that might bring you happiness, but probably won't, and could even ruin your life. There seems to be a similar view of children. The young also seem less interested in sex. Statistically (and how the hell they measure this I don't know) the young really are having less sex.

I might be talking complete nonsense, but if it's true, I wonder why. I guess internet porn would partly explain the loss of interest/desire in young men. Also, when society loosens up about sex, and we're saturated with sexual images, sex no longer feels sexy. As for the declining interest in relationships/family, I'm not so sure. I suppose fear about the future, especially climate change, could partly explain it (why bring a child into a dying world, that kind of thinking). Then I suppose the internet has lifted the lid on the reality of relationships and child-rearing – how difficult they can be, and how much of a toll they can take on your health.

Has anyone else noticed this? I know young people still form relationships, have sex, and raise children. I'm just talking about their general attitude to it all. They seem so much less enthusiastic, so much more reluctant and cynical. Sex and relationships and children are viewed more as 'problems' you need to cope with.

i was having sex at 17, and I was later than my friendship group and other girls I’d gone to school with.
DD didn’t have sex until she was around 25, but had no hang ups about it.

On the one hand male misogyny is growing. Men want sex all right, the sex ‘industry’ was one of the few still growing last time I checked, especially if you throw in the increasingly sexualised music and media entertainment sectors. But they’re not prepared to give what comes with that, they just want to take. Violence against women and girls is growing. news.sky.com/story/violence-against-women-and-girls-is-getting-worse-as-efforts-to-help-victims-are-failing-watchdog-says-13299948
On the other hand, women are increasingly fed up with men, male entitlement, arrogance and violence, and the new ways men are finding to attack women (think drugs) is leading to less and less trust. Think of the 4b movements. Plus the cost of living is genuinely impacting both sexes and the ability to start families. It was much easier in the days when any single full time wage could support a family and buy housing. Easy analysis.

I think it’s more a combination of burgeoning MH difficulties and lives lived increasingly online that means larger numbers of young people simply aren’t seeing one another in the flesh anywhere near as often. They’re timider because it’s a more socially acceptable option now.

There’s greater acceptance of different lifestyles and patterns nowadays. The “relationship escalator” of meeting ‘the one’, settling down, starting a family etc all within the earlier part of your adulthood is less relevant to many younger people. And when it comes to children, there’s been a huge swing in recent decades towards parenthood as something all-encompassing which requires 100% focus on the children: and from the outside, that looks and sounds fucking exhausting.

I think the huge boom in young people going away to university which began in the late 1990s has a lot to do with it: more young people are getting away from their families, their home towns, small-town ways of life; they look for careers after graduation, not just jobs; they develop friendships with all kinds of people from different backgrounds and places across the U.K. and the world, with different aspirations and values. They know they have options, and time.

I’m nearly 40 and I never saw relationships as life’s central joy. I opted to be boyfriend free until 26. I was having too much fun travelling and meeting new people.
I did always know I would meet someone to share life with and my first proper boyfriend at 26 is still my life partner.

Good luck to those who don’t feel the need to be in a relationship to be happy or complete!

They are definately less interested in sex you've only got to look at the decline in the numbers of teenage mothers in recent years to see that.

I guess it's because they don't go down the pub to meet people and have sex with.

The under 25s I know are not really into having sex or even being coupled up. It’s very different and I think that marriage may become quite unusual in the future.

I think polyamory is quite common but I don’t judge. None of my business.

Just have to wonder who has time for multiple people? 🤣

I think they’ve finally been taught that a nuclear way of life isn’t always beneficial for women.

My nieces are at Uni. It seems it’s a world away from my Uni life. They’re all vegan and go to the gym and eat well and only party occasionally. I’m pretty sure I lost half the use of my liver in my Uni days. On the one hand it’s not a bad thing they’re looking after themselves, on the other what a waste of those “throw caution to the wind” years

I've observed it too and quite frankly I can't say I blame them.

I think it's the other way round.

I see absolutely no sign that my 16yo ds is less interested in sex or relationships than my brother was at that age. 😁 All the youthful enthusiasm. He has (as yet) no desire to have children but plenty of time to change his mind.

On the other hand, I, as a single woman, see relationships as a risk. Certainly a physical & emotional risk. There are very few genuinely decent men around. As for children, financial reality takes its toll. I could only afford to raise one child on my own. To have a second child would have taken away my 'escape route' and potentially trapped me in an unhappy relationship. I'd seen too many friends in that situation to risk it.

I own our home, have maintained my career and I have a pension (of sorts). To marry would be too great a risk financially, and could jeopardise my and ds' home and future.

I'd agree. Have a teen, none of his peers are dating or drinking or doing drugs like I did at their age. I think the lack of drinking has a big part to play in lack of sex. Times have changed. Young ones are way less hedonistic than previous generations.

Reading some of the PP’s made me smile. My biggest regret was getting into a “serious relationship” too young and I never lived alone or went travelling. I didn’t even have a chance to focus on my own career before having a baby.

DH and I were too immature - even in our 30s. I love him to bits but I missed out.

we even moved in together while at University and now we’re both 40s.

Anyway, I’m pleased people are becoming more independent. And moving away, travelling etc. good for them!

Alot of people did/do alot of things just to fit in tbh. Just watch the old teen movies and it's clear. Plus we all have less money now and therefore less risk tolerance.

I’m so glad things have changed for the better.

I was born mid sixties and was brought up to believe that being a wife (to practically any man) was the only achievement worth pursuing. I tried it twice before realising I am far happier single, and have remained single for 15 years of bliss.

DD has never prioritised men or relationships. She’s now approaching 30 and wants children, so has a boyfriend to eventually facilitate that.

I think we've done a great job of teaching our daughters to not accept shit men any more. But that's bringing a downside! I wonder how many kids are going to be born in the future.
It was only 50 years ago that women had no choice to marry. The men didn't even have to be likeable. Now, brilliantly, women get to choose depending on what value the man brings to their life. And therein lies the problem.

My daughters both are keen to have children.

"Relationships are lifes central joy"

Bugger that for a game of soldiers.

I've been with DW for nearly 20 years, I'm still madly in love with her, and she makes my life infinitely better by being in it.

But so do many many other people, things, and experiences, and if I'd never met DP, that wouldn't make my life empty.

Not everyone needs a relationship to be happy, and I think more young people are realising that, and not putting up with crap relationships as a result.

They have discovered and can afford to travel, educate themselves and put their own needs first.
The world and the opportunities for young people look very different than they did 30 years ago.

The world and the opportunities for young people look very different than they did 30 years ago.

It sure does. Climate change is coming, the full impacts are unknown, and the world is overpopulated already. Plus, as I said, cost of living is going up, up and up. Many youngsters are very apprehensive about the future.

I have two young adult age children and a few Nieces/Nephews similar age, I've seen a definite lack of interest in marriage in this age group, I don't mean now as they're too young really, but I mean they don't seem bothered about it in the future!

Definitely think it's more common now for young women to admit from an early age they don't want children
Everyone thought I was a freak back in the 90s (but how can you dislike children when you WERE a child!!!)

And many young people travel around the world on cheap flights. It wasn't an option 30 yesrs ago.

I agree.

I think birth rates and population are going to drop massively over the next couple of decades. Even now a lot of women are having children much later anyway, and often having just one. Divorce rates are very high, so weddings and marriage seem a waste of time for many.

I remember throughout my 20s people would constantly ask when I was going to have children like it was an expectation, rather than a choice. I enjoyed my 20s going out etc and I remember a family member saying to me they thought I wouldn’t have children because I was too selfish enjoying myself! I was only around 23! I’m glad the younger generation don’t have those societal pressures now.

When you look at the world now there are so many opportunities for young people, women are very aware that a lot of men are incapable of being faithful, and the world is a pretty dangerous place to bring children into these days.

Women are more than capable of providing for themselves now and men like to play the field through the dating apps without commitment. I am well aware these are sweeping statements, but there doesn’t seem to be the motivation for young people to meet ‘the one’ and settle down these days.

It’s great isn’t it!! People can now choose what they want, not get tied down with shit partners because it’s expected, have children they don’t want just because it used to be the norm. They can be happy within themselves and not need validation from someone else. How exciting for them.

If you spend years telling young men that they are all misogynists and incels and that merely speaking to a girl could be considered harassment, it's not surprising that a lot of young men have checked out of socialising with girls, let alone having a relationship - it's too dangerous and not worth the effort.