To think the young are less interested in sex, relationships and children

[Dappy777]

Is it just me or do young people seem less interested in relationships than we were? It isn't so much that the young aren't settling down, more that relationships no longer seem the focus point of their lives. Rather than seeing relationships as life's central joy, they're increasingly viewed as a danger – something that might bring you happiness, but probably won't, and could even ruin your life. There seems to be a similar view of children. The young also seem less interested in sex. Statistically (and how the hell they measure this I don't know) the young really are having less sex.

I might be talking complete nonsense, but if it's true, I wonder why. I guess internet porn would partly explain the loss of interest/desire in young men. Also, when society loosens up about sex, and we're saturated with sexual images, sex no longer feels sexy. As for the declining interest in relationships/family, I'm not so sure. I suppose fear about the future, especially climate change, could partly explain it (why bring a child into a dying world, that kind of thinking). Then I suppose the internet has lifted the lid on the reality of relationships and child-rearing – how difficult they can be, and how much of a toll they can take on your health.

Has anyone else noticed this? I know young people still form relationships, have sex, and raise children. I'm just talking about their general attitude to it all. They seem so much less enthusiastic, so much more reluctant and cynical. Sex and relationships and children are viewed more as 'problems' you need to cope with.

@Dappy777 I don't think there's any point extending our lives, who wants to be around for a century? I'm 50 and would be quite happy to pop off by 80.

Greater life expectancy is a huge part of the population boom. Child mortality rates massively declined during the 20th century and the number of people living beyond 80 massively increased. I don't think that extending our lives any further would help, even if we were in good health for longer.

Where are these Gen Z abstaining from alcohol? I have Gen Z child as do my colleagues at RG Unis they are not abstaining from alcohol. What I do think is true it that many older Gen Z and youmg millennials have spent their whole life using apps to meet people, the lack of organic evolvement of relationships is a result of that. However, I have a young Gen Z and Gen Alpha and I think there is a backlash against all this online presence, none of them or their friends post images of themselves, they see that as an older people's thing. I personally think that was a young millennial thing, along with influencers etc. with the backlash against online presence and smartphones for teenagers, I think things will revert a bit.

Society has focused heavily on extending life and discouraging people to have children. This was always going to happen.

@Goldenbear Yes, I can't say that DD and her friends are abstaining, and they tend to meet people in person now, just as we did.

I agree that apps were more of a thing a few years ago and obviously v. popular during the pandemic as it was the only way to stay in touch with people! But they seem to be waning.

@Comedycook I don't think it's that great when you're actually living the long life. My Dad (86) isn't bothered about living much longer, tbh. I think I'd feel the same after nearly nine decades!

These are very difficult questions aren't they...is it really preferable for people to live until their 90s perhaps with dementia and/or other health conditions and needing carers 24/7? On the other hand, is it ethical to restrict very elderly people from medications which will prolong their life? My two grandfathers....one lived to his 60s and dropped down dead with a heart attack...the other lived well Into his 80s with Alzheimers living a dreadful life in a care home. These are very tough and uncomfortable conversations

@Dappy777 You are looking at the population from a world viewpoint. You can do nothing whatever about this. The newly rich have always wanted to travel.

What is importing is what we do and what we need to do. We can pull economic levers to help young people want families here. We cannot control or even influence what anyone else does regarding family size. We now have 1.49 children per fertile woman. Long gone is 2.40. Of our projected population increase, 90% is expected to be immigration putting pressure on services immediately. We may well have 3 million over the age of 85 in 25 years time. Unless we get economic growth we won’t have the money to care for the ones who need it.

Median age of death for women in UK is 84, so you may get your wish.

Pretty soon people will be healthy and active (and productive) well into their 100s. Lifespans of 130-150 will be the norm.

Most of what I've seen suggest 120 is an upper limit for humans and frankly most of population will not see that. Plus given obesity levels and lifestyles- rationing was apparently good for us -it's not impossible that despite better treatments we may start dying younger. Then there's whole thing of quality of life arguments and also euthanasia polices creeping in world wide.

Demographically the drop in fertility rates world wide has been much sooner and more dramatic than policy makers and researchers ever expected. It's also built in now fewer people each generation to have people each generation and as parental ages causes widening - stretching out - between the generations.

Apparently when we do peak world wide the decline will be as rapid as the assent - that could bring infrastructure maintenance issues and food production issues on their own - though that's a management issue so may be avoided.

The focus on African countries having higher fertility - and fertility more generally-conveniently means consumption levels and Co2 production per person figure are ignored - meaning people in west don't feel need to make changes.

I have seen argument that children being worst thing you can do environmentally are flawed and ignore the higher disposable income levels can lead to more CO2 heavy pastime like air travel and pets.

Having fewer kids will not save the climate
Is climate change really a reason not to have children? Here’s four reasons why it’s not that simple

@JoyousGreyOrca That would suit me just fine! 😂

Yep it apparently is the case that more young women maybe in same sex relationships as compared to men but not in numbers that would lead to twice as many young women being in relationships as compared to young men.

But the stats were self reported which is why I think there was a mismatch in definitions of “commitment”.

Everyone knows people got together and stayed together because of societal expectations and opportunities in previous generations.
People have more choice now so aren't choosing long term commitments like marriage and children unless they really want them.
My mum was a stay at home mother, the reality of parenthood for her is different than it is for me with us both working and raising children. She wanted lots of children but her health prevented her having more. I don't want more than 2 because I don't feel I have the time or resources to do so.
My husband and I agree that sex is not the most important aspect of our relationship, we prioritise other ways to enjoy our time together.
My mother finds this horrifying, the idea of going more than a week without sex is completely unhealthy to her and she can't fathom a relationship without it. She spends almost no quality time with her husband though.
I also think there is a lot more distraction now, in the sense that there's so many other things you can be doing with your time rather than getting into a relationship. So if you're not that interested in one, you wouldn't ever be lonely or bored.

@Dappy777

1. Yes, the birth rate is declining in Europe, but it isn't falling everywhere. Africa's birth rate is so high the African population is going to double (right in the middle of a climate crisis).

Birth rates are falling globally even on the continent of Africa. Countries bucking that trend are in a distinct minority.

• By 2050, over three-quarters (155 of 204) of countries will not have high enough fertility rates to sustain population size over time; this will increase to 97% of countries (198 of 204) by 2100.
• Pronounced shifts in patterns of livebirths are also predicted, with the share of the world’s livebirths nearly doubling in low-income regions from 18% in 2021 to 35% in 2100; and sub-Saharan Africa accounting for one in every two children born on the planet by 2100.
• In low-income settings with higher fertility rates, better access to contraceptives and female education will help reduce birth rates, while in low-fertility, high-income economies, policies that support parents and open immigration will be vital to maintain population size and economic growth.
• Authors warn that national governments must plan for emerging threats to economies, food security, health, the environment, and geopolitical security brought on by these demographic changes that are set to transform the way we live.

https://www.healthdata.org/news-events/newsroom/news-releases/lancet-dramatic-declines-global-fertility-rates-set-transform

Can't wait to be drawing my pension at a bright old age of 110.

Reversing ageing will be for the rich only.

It's not that all boys are assumed to be misogynists and incels.

The problem lies in the realization that many are, but the good guys are not expressing either surprise or outrage, or defending women, or calling out misogyny.

It's not enough to just be a good guy, or to feel you're a good guy just because you dont actively hate women.

Women are at risk from many different angles - the physical environment is not safe, the workplace is a space where we can be harassed, exploited for less than our labour is worth and punished financially for having a baby, and the home can be a very dangerous place indeed if you somehow pick a violent/ abusive man or he picks you.

Where are the voices of men challenging all of the mistreatment of women - the unfairness of lack of equity in the workplace, the objectification, the pornography, the abuse and the violence, the casual denigration of women by men? Where are the men campaigning for truly punitive sentencing for rape, for coercive control, for stalking and harassment? Where are the men campaigning for free legal aid for women trying to escape abuse and reform of the family courts?

Men need to be anti-misogynist, not well intentioned bystanders, if they are to earn the trust and respect of women these days. It's not enough to just not be a rapey creep.

True, but then again if more people are in the same boat they will reach out to one another and form their own community. Far worse to be single, childless and alone in a society filled with happy extended families. Then no one needs or cares about you. Being old in the 2050s and 2060s will be very different. Huge numbers of people will be childless. So they'll need one another much more than today, when a childless 80-year-old is surrounded by 80-year-olds with kids and grandkids.

As someone said above, the young can't win. They get criticised for sleeping around or having kids too young, but when they work hard and don't drink alcohol, they're called boring. I think it's brilliant that teenage pregnancies are less common. It's brilliant that young people are interested in their studies and work hard. It's great that they drink less alcohol (I saw some disgusting sights in the 1990s – girls peeing in the street, vomiting into shop doorways, having hideous fist fights, and all thanks to alcohol). Actually, the fact that teenagers drink less alcohol is one of the best trends I know. And it's great that so many of them are vegan and look after their bodies.

I think the trend is true, and I think there are a number of factors.

Online gaming - people socialise online with a group of friends they already know so fewer people are going out and meeting new people.

Challenge 25. When I was 15 I could add a bit of slap and pass for 18 so we would all go pubbing and clubbing and meet people by finding out their name after you'd had a drunken snog when the last song of the club was playing. I wouldn't have passed 25, so if they had that rule then I wouldn't have met half the people I knew/dated when I was 16/17/18. Alcohol gives a lot of confidence and is a social lubricant.

Money - a vodka and coke used to cost £1.50. I earned £3/hr at my Saturday job and could afford a good night out! Minimum wage for under 18s is currently £6.40 and a glass of wine (sorry, I haven't had a vodka for years!) is £8.

@InvisibilityCloakActivated Weatherspoons is way cheaper, £2.50 is cheapest glass of wine. Our local is full of young students

I think that people’s finances have a lot to do with some not wanting children. Bringing up a family is incredibly expensive, plus the difficulty of getting a mortgage and the uncertainty of rented accommodation. Many people don’t feel financially secure these days, and I’m sure it must impact the plans they make for their future lives.

It's a good thing they'll all have phones, a lot of them will have pensions they worked for, and they'll have the time and freedom for travel and hobbies.

My DM is a widow and has witnessed a lot of her friends ending their days looking after husbands who required a lot of care. Many had to give up activities they had enjoyed up to their mid 70s, when their husbands became ill or enfeebled.

I do not think they are having less sex? Unless my teenager is an exception.

Definitely having less sex.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/03/millennials-dont-have-sex

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0hgmhk0

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/sexual-intelligence/202208/why-todays-teens-are-having-so-much-less-sex

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-have-been-having-less-sex-whether-theyre-teenagers-or-40-somethings/

My.teen then is clearly an exception. And all other teens just don't. I wish my dd wasn't i really do.