4 year old daughter upset with her birthday party idea

[Orangeandpinknails]

Put this on AIBU because it's more likely to be viewed.

My little girl is 3 and will be 4 end of Feb. She has been so excited for a birthday party and we booked her one last night in a cheaper place that she has been to before for a friend's party. It's all we can really afford at the moment and I've just told her about it. She started crying saying it's a baby play area and she doesn't want to go there for her party and that she wants to go to another certain play area for her birthday. We've already paid now so not sure if can cancel and get a refund but also, this other place will cost us about £60 more which we can't really afford right now.

What would you do?

Christ do people think 3-4 year olds are basically giant Maris Pipers in clothes or something?

They have a preference for stuff they like.

They can communicate

They are their own personalities (granted very small and still need a hell of a lot of correction and guidance)

They can remember a lot of things

It’s not that hard, honestly.

I think people are forgetting that at 4 this child will have no concept of money or time. Heck she might still struggle to count to 10! She would have no concept of why changing her party before the invites are sent out is difficult. That doesn't mean that her mum should change her party, but she isn't being a brat or ungrateful, she's just clueless because she's little. If your child said "Can we paint?" then a minute later said "Actually can we play dress-up"? You'd probably say "yes". Or, if you'd got all the paint out, you might say "Let's paint for 20 mins, then help me wash the brushes, then we'll play dress-up" To her, changing her party is no more complicated than putting the paints away, or even not getting them out.

You probably can't change it now that you've paid the deposit but I think the learning for next time is to involve her in the decision making. We let our 2 year olds decide what type of party they wanted for their 3rd birthday and what food they'd like served. It's her party so only fair that she gets a say. I don't think it's entitled at all to be upset that you get no say in what feels like the biggest event of your year even if parents do a bit of guiding towards what is affordable and doable.

Child does not need an adults perspective. If that's what is organised for her then go with it! Otherwise, stay at home and party.

You don't go further than what you can afford.. She will soon get over it.

I’m amazed she has a preference. My son had a softplay party when he was 3 and we decided we didn’t want to spend a fortune with parties every year. We did a small party at home in super hero theme for his fourth birthday and it was lovely. He had a great time.
I think this is partly how you decide to sell it. Obviously she’s been to recent parties at this place and possibly those children were also 4. Can’t you make the party a theme you know she will enjoy so all the children can have optional dress up?
otherwise suggest you cancel and save the money for next year when she will be at school and it’s probably more important.

Can you say one or more of:
-the other place is fully booked?
-drop some hints generally about how good the place you've booked is to persuade / convince her?
-take her there while another party is on to show how much fun people have?
-explain that the food is nicer there?
-say it's nice to try new places and the other children will find it more exciting to go somewhere new?
-That it will seem more special instead of copying the other party?
I don't think she's spoilt. I don't think you're being unreasonable - you just want to make sure she's happy. It sounds a bit like perhaps she is trying to please her friends by doing what she thinks other people like.

Tell her these things cost money! No harm in teaching them young that life is not free. Let her know you and her daddy have already paid a lot of money for this play area/centre and its there or no party at all.