Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

[Chanjh25]

I’m posting this here to be told straight basically as I don’t really have any family and friends that know what’s going on in my life so please just tell me how it is Hi girls I really need some advice because I feel honestly crazy here
So me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years we split up a few months back for 2-3 months but was in contact with eachother throughout and had slept together a few times still..
To then for us to decide to sort things out properly things was good for a few days until I found out he had slept with his ex.. didn’t mention anything to me but when I found out said he was ‘honestly going to tell me’ was acting off anyway before I found out accusing me of not being trust worthy and that I’m acting ‘shifty’ turned out to just be him.. to then a couple of weeks later he wants to tell me something SHES PREGNANT… she still loves him and is infatuated with him and I’ve told him he’s just relit an old flame in her and she just won’t leave him alone she’s become abusive to me too.. now I was willing to forgive him and try to get over everything that’s happened (the self esteem is clearly next level for me isn’t it😑)
So again we tried again but he’s telling her we aren’t together and wants me to stay quiet about us as he has kids with her and she’ll ‘ruin his life’ so I found out yday he’s been telling her we aren’t together so obvs I’ve hit the roof and now ‘I’m done your crazy’ bla bla bla AM I BEING MANIPULATED cuz I also feel like I’m the bad person right now 😭😭😭 he’s saying that the reason why he doesn’t want her to know just yet is because of the stuff she says and causes but also so that we can have time to ‘bond’ again just any advice 😭

Please leave this man and never let him back in to your life. You deserve better, everyone deserves better than that. If he is not willing to be honest about your relationship then he is not being honest with you either. He is showing you that you mean very little to him (at best). Please don't listen to his words, listen to his actions they are speaking much louder. He has been getting exactly what he wants from you and his "ex", and all at your expense.

I don't get what the OP sees in him, I've asked, but she's not said how she can love someone like this. That isn't love.

Yes, it's very common for men like this to call women "crazy" when they call them out on their crappy behaviour and act like anything other than pathetic doormats. Laugh, ignore, bin him.

Do you really not believe you are worth more than this?

Because I realised that I don't have anything to say about that I don't know what made me love him.. the person he was in the beginning I guess.. the person who I fell in love with and I know now that it was all just a lie and a game to get me to fall in love with him and sorry for some reason the post was in hidden even though I didn't hide it?

@Chanjh25 but he's not like that now so why do you still love him?

I'm not really in the LTB team, but honestly, you know what you need here, and it's not him or his supposed Ex or the DC.

Find happiness alone then find someone who lives you for you.

Why are you with this idiot?

OP, I find it a bit mad that posters are demanding you explain why you love this man, if he treats you so appallingly. Love is inherently irrational, unfortunately you can't just switch it off when it doesn't make sense to love someone any more.

But OP, I hope you understand that, despite what our culture says, despite all the romance films out there, love is not a good enough reason to stay with someone if they hurt you like this.

You can love someone and also know it's over and that you need to move on for your own good because they don't value you as a person and they make your life miserable. It will fade with distance and at some point in the future, you will look back and wonder what on earth you saw in him.