Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

[Chanjh25]

I’m posting this here to be told straight basically as I don’t really have any family and friends that know what’s going on in my life so please just tell me how it is Hi girls I really need some advice because I feel honestly crazy here
So me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years we split up a few months back for 2-3 months but was in contact with eachother throughout and had slept together a few times still..
To then for us to decide to sort things out properly things was good for a few days until I found out he had slept with his ex.. didn’t mention anything to me but when I found out said he was ‘honestly going to tell me’ was acting off anyway before I found out accusing me of not being trust worthy and that I’m acting ‘shifty’ turned out to just be him.. to then a couple of weeks later he wants to tell me something SHES PREGNANT… she still loves him and is infatuated with him and I’ve told him he’s just relit an old flame in her and she just won’t leave him alone she’s become abusive to me too.. now I was willing to forgive him and try to get over everything that’s happened (the self esteem is clearly next level for me isn’t it😑)
So again we tried again but he’s telling her we aren’t together and wants me to stay quiet about us as he has kids with her and she’ll ‘ruin his life’ so I found out yday he’s been telling her we aren’t together so obvs I’ve hit the roof and now ‘I’m done your crazy’ bla bla bla AM I BEING MANIPULATED cuz I also feel like I’m the bad person right now 😭😭😭 he’s saying that the reason why he doesn’t want her to know just yet is because of the stuff she says and causes but also so that we can have time to ‘bond’ again just any advice 😭

If you know what to do why do you need strangers to validate your decision? Part of being an adult is also trusting yourself to know what is best for you.

Block his number.
Delete his number.
Get some therapy.
Stay single for a while.

You've got plenty options here and everyone is telling you to leave him. Leave him or stay with him the choice is yours.

You've already split before, so make it permanent now
Life's too short for this drama
Other men are available.

Also to add I think with having no stable relationships in my life such as friendships has contributed towards my negligence of seeing this for what it is, a talk or someone else's opinion of your situation really does help these comments have helped me, only having his opinion of things and no one else as no one knows about my personal life other then my younger sister but I don't wanna come to her about issues she's dealing with herself (in no way similar but not the best relationship) and feeling like your putting so much on to someone isn't a nice feeling but neither is being trapped in your own head been giving the silent treatment and no answers has caused me to not think logically and believe in the things he has been saying to me

It's nice to have other peoples opinions especially when the only other person I've had to speak to is him

Come on! Wake up & smell the coffee!

He's in a relationship with her

You are his "bit on the side" & will be dumped as soon as she finds out

Dump him and leave without a backwards glance & your head held high

You are going to be SO MUCH HAPPIER when you ditch him and all this crap stops going round in your head. You are not crazy for wanting better treatment you should absolutely insist on better… from someone else.

Look.

I'm going to be honest. Every time you post, it's a bit of a 'he said this / he did that / I feel this/ they were together / they weren't together / we were on a break / he keeps doing this / he keeps doing that / but he swore he loves me / but he told me it has to be a secret, and on and on and round and round.

Honestly? None of that matters. It really doesn't.

He is about to become a father again
He is not 'yours'
You are not his priority
And you deserve better.

You need to let it all go. All of it
All the he said / he did / but we... / he promised

All of it

Let
It
Go

Move on. It will be really fucking hard, but that is your only option. Everything else, every other possibility, is built on a fragile and unsteady web of lies, immature behaviour and doomed outcomes.

You say you've had an awful childhood and that you need therapy. I'm sorry you had to live that and you DESERVE to have the therapy and stop the cycle of abuse. Please please just focus on that. Everything else is just noise.

Exactly. We all need someone to talk to and you were right not to burden your sister. The great thing about forums like this is a) we're objective parties b) you get honest answers.
I'm pleased you found it useful. Now go and treat yourself to something yummy. I'm eating a jam 🍩 X

Your egging it on for the same reason....only she has his kids to encourage her. You knew he slept with several others whenever according to him he's not with anyone yet you decided you would be another one of the many. I think you deluded yourself as to his feelings he's just put for a shag.

What you going on about who's sneaking anything? She's his ex we was together all I've known is she is an ex she knew about us being together just like anybody else is so oelase read properly before you make out like I'm some home wrecking ho, for one they haven't been together for 4 years and for 2 there is no home to wreck he barely sees his kids 😂

He's not i a relationship with her 😂 they've been split four years and he slept with her a few times when we split, however now I've woke up and smelt the hummus there is no going back for me especially after tonight.. I guess if you want someone to tell you how they really feel about you just piss them off

Honestly it's like 99% of my thiught process at the minute when we split up last time I was fine was doing my own thing and he knew thag didn't like it and begged for me back he does this constantly things end he begs for me back promises to change and reassures me things will get better and be okay soon as things have quietened down abit he does the same bulkshit again I mean I feel like a boy around him 😂 not a woman I wanna be with someone who makes ne feel alive and makes me feel like the pretty little lady I am (when I'm not looking run down because he's depressed the living life out of me) I'm not assed she'll be oregannt all summer with 5 kids and one on way kicking off he won't come see the kids and I'll be single but with a man who makes me feel like the woman I am happy as fuck looking good and feeling good his loss.. he might not see it right now but he will, yeah I can be crazy but don't pmo ☺️

Reply to @jannier yet again assuming

I did not know about the other girls he has in go whisky single up until recently.. as you were..

There is no chance this will work. Cut it off now don't waste another minute of your life. There is better out there.

OMG so he's got kids with the ex, now she's pregnant again, during a time you & he had briefly split. But otherwise you've been together 3 years? Bollocks. I bet he's been shagging both of you this whole time. Get out now while you can. What a shitshow.

Yeah that's what I'm thinking now honestly wouldn't surprise me if he hasn't been fucking her our whole relationship I mean it's something she'd be willing to do behind my back🫠 says he hates her and cashes crazy and has made his life a living ducking hell but then fucks her and gets her pregnant guys in serious doubt wish he would just get back with her tbh so I can actually move on

You can move on without all the bullshit. Open your eyes at what is happening here!

As everyone else has said dump him immediately, get yourself some therapy work on yourself, then find a lovely, decent man one who doesn’t have 2 (nearly 3 children) with an “ex” he’s still shagging). Settle down with him and have your own family with someone who treats you right and loves you as you deserve, do not settle for anything less.

Gobsmacked that you think this cunt ‘barely seeing’ his kids is funny. And also that that hasn’t put you off him. You really do need some help, OP.

This is a mess, an unnecessary drama and he is unreliable. Grow a backbone, OP, and ditch him. You'll be happier alone.

I doubt this poster is genuine.

So have you actually dumped him OP?

Yes we are over

💯 genuine I'm 31 seeking advice not a teen doing a troll post I've attached 2 screenshots go find them