Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

[Chanjh25]

I’m posting this here to be told straight basically as I don’t really have any family and friends that know what’s going on in my life so please just tell me how it is Hi girls I really need some advice because I feel honestly crazy here
So me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years we split up a few months back for 2-3 months but was in contact with eachother throughout and had slept together a few times still..
To then for us to decide to sort things out properly things was good for a few days until I found out he had slept with his ex.. didn’t mention anything to me but when I found out said he was ‘honestly going to tell me’ was acting off anyway before I found out accusing me of not being trust worthy and that I’m acting ‘shifty’ turned out to just be him.. to then a couple of weeks later he wants to tell me something SHES PREGNANT… she still loves him and is infatuated with him and I’ve told him he’s just relit an old flame in her and she just won’t leave him alone she’s become abusive to me too.. now I was willing to forgive him and try to get over everything that’s happened (the self esteem is clearly next level for me isn’t it😑)
So again we tried again but he’s telling her we aren’t together and wants me to stay quiet about us as he has kids with her and she’ll ‘ruin his life’ so I found out yday he’s been telling her we aren’t together so obvs I’ve hit the roof and now ‘I’m done your crazy’ bla bla bla AM I BEING MANIPULATED cuz I also feel like I’m the bad person right now 😭😭😭 he’s saying that the reason why he doesn’t want her to know just yet is because of the stuff she says and causes but also so that we can have time to ‘bond’ again just any advice 😭

Leave him!!
there’s probably a million reasons you split up initially
why are you thinking of settling for such a shitty boyfriend?!

Sounds like a messy nightmare.

Time to end it and move on. You deserve better than this.

Dump him and don't look back

Get rid of this guy, move on and don't look back

DUMP HIM!!!!!

Get rid of this lying using cheating scumbag and get a better life.

Dont stay with him. It’s going to get very messy, another poor kid being born into a messy situation.

Easy. Leave him and wash your hands of the abusive ex.

You don't need this drama, surely.
And for how long is he proposing to keep your relationship hidden? Until his child goes to college... just dump and run.

Bin him.

You must know you're worth more than this. The whole situation is so messy, I'd have no part in it.

If I were you, I'd walk away and let them get on with it. If you stay with him, you're going to have a lot of stress and drama that you really don't need. It doesn't sound like he's worth it.

Yeah there was many reasons why we split the main one was because I felt invisible to him he'd give me the silent treatment constantly for no reason, barely spoke to me touched me or was engaging

You know what to do or else you wouldn’t be posting here. Dump this piece of crap of know your are worth way more,

Why would you even consider taking him back /staying with him?

The thing is I was actually willing to adapt to it all, but then me finding out he's telling her yet again tbag we aren't together and this is something I've told him I am not willing to do he's still doing it anyway so I'm going mad about it but I'm crazy and all this and that

You need to ask yourself why you were willing to adapt to being in such a shitty relationship. Why would you settle for that?

I'm not sure what element of this shit show is your AIBU.

I don't even know where to start.

The crux of the advice is RUN, FAR AND FAST, don't look back.

There is no happy ending with this man. There are better men, and there is a good life to be lived alone if that's what you decide. But there is absolutely no happiness to be found with him.

Are there any specific reasons why you can't just walk away? Shared children, joint tenancy, mortgage?

Yep! Get rid of the nasty barstool!
Not only is he lying but you do not need this drama. Walk away with your head held high. Don’t look back. You will be the one with the last laugh. Lucky escape springs to mind.

Do you really want to be stuck to this arsehole helping him raise this child (because you will eventually be expected to!) while also having to be stuck to this other woman too then possibly the person she ends up with because she is the mother of this child.

having to constantly consider when you holiday or if you holiday
where you live what house you live in
Every financial spend because his money and yours will be part of this child’s upbringing and needs
your weekends

thats just off the top of my head!

none of that even covers that you’re with someone who thinks nothing of lies and you telling lies too!

this whole thing is disturbing get out now!

No other advice other than RUN!!
She can keep him!

Oh, OP, this is a no-brainer. Dump him and do not look back. Then work on why your bar is so low that you wanted to try to 'adapt' to it all.

This is what I mean I was willing to do it all for him but I'm crazy apparently yeah I'm fucking crazy for even considering it

Well, he's an immature, abusive little fucker in all respects, isn't he? I'll tell you what I told my niece in an all too similar situation. LEAVE HIM. He is not worth it. The winner on the day is the woman that kicks this dregs to the kerb.

Also, consider doing an act of sisterhood and telling the other woman what he asked you to do to her and her unborn child. Bastard.