To ignore the letter and go anyway? Toddler day case procedure

[lolo9]

My toddler is due to have a small procedure done tomorrow. Only a day case but first time under GA and I'm terrified.

The letter says 2 adults only. No siblings due to lack of space. I have a 1 month old baby who's currently breastfed. Don't have any childcare anyway but if I did I couldn't leave him as he won't take a bottle..

The plan was just to send DH with toddler, but the closer it's getting to it the more anxious I am. DH is brilliant but I can't shake the feeling my toddler needs their mum after something like that. I'd go on my own with newborn but I think it'd be too much to handle, having to hold toddler whilst put under with a newborn in tow.

Would it be completely ignorant of me to show up with my newborn and DH? Baby in a carrier maybe? No pram to save space? Would they just send me away do you think? I probably should just listen to the letter and send toddler with DH. I'm just worried and being at home will drive me up the wall not knowing how it's going 😭

Could the procedure be postponed?

If it says no siblings don't take any siblings.

@BeachRide already been postponed 3 times due to illness (been told toddler needs to be 6 weeks clear of any sort of viral infection which has proven almost impossible!) 🥲

They won't send you away, you're overthinking it. Do take as little stuff as possible like a carrier, and I'm sure it will be fine.

You all go but your husband takes baby somewhere else

When baby needs fed you n your husband swap so only one adult with toddler at any time

Would that work?

This

It's not about you though

You should stay at home and look after your other child

Be a responsible adult

For a start you're anxious about it so being there helps no one especially when you've been specifically told to not go with siblings

Your DS will be fine with his dad

Let your DH take him and be there for him waking up initially then swap?

I think that when they say siblings, they probably don't mean a newborn breastfed babe in arms - they clearly say that it's due to lack of space, but a very young baby doesn't take up any space.

i would just turn up as you are and if they have a problem with that, then either you and baby, or your toddler's Dad could stay. But I think that if you tell them that you're breastfeeding, there won't be a problem

I'd give them a call and explain the situation. Having a newborn there is very different to having another child running round. If they say no, they say no, but in my experience nurses can be pretty understanding. I've been through this several times with my DC and, generally speaking, have found ward staff to be very understanding.
If push comes to shove and your DH does have to take your toddler alone, try not to panic. Day case ops happen all the time and you'll all come through it. I appreciate it's v scary though. You could always both be at the hosp and swap as and when needed x

Is there a cafe in the hospital or nearby that you could swap the baby between you and wait?

Tbh I think you should stay at home, the fewer people traipsing in and out of a surgical children’s ward, potentially carrying germs with them, the better.

DS will be fine with his dad.

Just go and you and DH can swap in and out at the points where pne of you needs to be in.

Do agree take a carrier and as little as possible - sometimes these rules are because if they say no buggies/ no walking children they know people will push their luck so it's easier to have a blanket ban - also slightly older children would bring germs in.

Our day case children are recovered on the children's ward. Which is basically not filled with air, but viral soup. I would not want to take a newborn onto the ward unless their own health mandated it, as there would be significant risk of giving them a bronchiolitis causing virus, and seeing them back as an admission. Do you know if there is a dedicated daycare unit?

Let the older child go to hospital with dad, it'll be hellish with a baby for other patients and you. Either that or can the dad stay with the baby and feed it from a bottle with breast milk?

Ring the ward and speak with them. We were allowed to take our bf 7mo when our dc had a day procedure.

I'm usually a follow the rules to the letter person, but I think it's different with a one month old ebf baby. I'd go with minimal stuff and fuss and be prepared for one of you dipping out if you're told no, or baby is fussy or needs changing etc. If you're discreet and consider others then I can't imagine you'll be a problem to them. It's the families who take along several children who race around loudly that they're trying to avoid.
Hope all goes well for your little one.

I wouldn’t take a 1-month old baby in to a paediatric unit, especially during winter bug season.
The hospital will take wonderful care of your toddler; I’d personally stay home with baby.

The thing is, do you want to risk your newborn picking up any infections whilst you're in the hospital?

The children awaiting surgery may be well, but their family members might not be or general visitors in the hospital.

Its probably not best to be there if you're already very anxious.

If you do decide to go then maybe swapping with dad is an option.

Not a solution to your situation but my DS had GA for a minor procedure last week. First time any of my DC have had it. I've not had it either so totally new thing for us. Staff were brilliant, DS was a trooper and we were home before we knew it. It will be ok.

You wouldn’t be allowed baby in the anaesthetic room when your toddler is put under, so one of you would need to stay outside anyways if you do take the baby.

I know it's awful when you're thinking of your toddler but honestly I wouldn't expose the baby to that environment. They're 1 month old so won't have had any vaccinations yet? A hospital is the absolute last place they should be, you need to keep yourself and the baby healthy for your toddler's sake.

Not sure I would take my newborn into a hospital during ‘flu season… but do you do, then one parent goes with dc and the takes the baby to the cafe or waiting area and then swap the parent as needed, so that one is always with dc and one with the baby. If it’s minor then you’ll probably be in and out anyway?

One of my Dc had numerous GAs from being a one year old.

Honestly, small kids sail through. They don’t know there is anything to be anxious about, the staff are brilliant.

Your DH will be fine.

I wouldn’t take a newborn. It will just add complication.

They took the time to send you a letter asking you to adhere to their rules.

I thought you were going to say you had no partner or support.
YABU, your child has another parent who can take them.

Try not to make this about you and your needs.