To ignore the letter and go anyway? Toddler day case procedure

[lolo9]

My toddler is due to have a small procedure done tomorrow. Only a day case but first time under GA and I'm terrified.

The letter says 2 adults only. No siblings due to lack of space. I have a 1 month old baby who's currently breastfed. Don't have any childcare anyway but if I did I couldn't leave him as he won't take a bottle..

The plan was just to send DH with toddler, but the closer it's getting to it the more anxious I am. DH is brilliant but I can't shake the feeling my toddler needs their mum after something like that. I'd go on my own with newborn but I think it'd be too much to handle, having to hold toddler whilst put under with a newborn in tow.

Would it be completely ignorant of me to show up with my newborn and DH? Baby in a carrier maybe? No pram to save space? Would they just send me away do you think? I probably should just listen to the letter and send toddler with DH. I'm just worried and being at home will drive me up the wall not knowing how it's going 😭

Being a responsible adult doesn't always just mean "doing what you're told by authority figures." Being a responsible adult might mean being there for your child. OP clearly isn't just thinking of herself here. This reply isn't as smart as you think it is.

And bollocks does being anxious about something mean you can't parent your kid well through it. Utter nonsense.

But, OP, in this instance I would probably send toddler with dad and keep a small baby out of the mix.

I'd go and take the baby

Let your DH go, even though I know it’s hard.

it Is different with a 1 month old new born I would be very very surprised if they turned you away and DH is an NHS surgeon so I feel like I get the general vibe of the NHS reasonably well. They don’t want you to bring the whole family and have 3 other primary aged kids running around going nuts but they aren’t unreasonable.

In my experience the only way they'll let you do it is if baby stays outside and you both swap

i would go, the lo is inobtrusive

@lolo9 go with your baby. I dont believe they wont let you in at least recovery room when he is awake.
my 3yr old had a surgery few months ago. he IS going to need you.

You're getting quite a few unfeeling responses here OP. If it was just a quick appointment for a check up I'd absolutely stay home with baby but it's a GA so you should be there. Take your DH and your baby. If there's no space then he can walk baby round outside. Take the pram in the car. X

I think you are over thinking this / kids don’t even understand the concept of ‘being put under’. Your hubby will be chatting to them one minute and the next they would have closer their eyes. It’s more upsetting for the parent than the child when your kid suddenly just stops moving and passes out! They’ll be fine

I've been in a very similar situation. DH took the toddler to hospital and I stayed at home with the baby.

We would let you have a 1 month old baby. Ring the ward and check.

This! They don't want older siblings running around with bags of toys etc. A tiny newborn who needs breastfeeding and will most likely be in your arms the whole time will be fine

Just stay home with the baby. I really don't get this needing 2 parents and a baby to do things with an older child. I'm a single parent and would give my right arm to have had another capable parent to trust with one of my children.

If it's a general paediatric ward. Rather than a daycase unit or a surgical unit are. I would t take a one month old baby to the hospital, as it's RSV season. A 'clean' surgical ward would be ok.

Would not*

I’ve been in for multiple day procedures with my DD and there’s no way I’d not be there. However I don’t think it’s just space but also for calmness and overall control of the atmosphere. Sometimes we’ve had a set appointment time and other times kids are ordered by age so you can be there all day depending on who is in and their ages, a lot of them having gone without food since the early hours

Having said that, I’d say a newborn is very different to other age siblings

You and the baby don't need to be there. DC will be fine with their dad.

Take baby!!! Of course they won’t care you’re breastfeeding a newborn it’s not like taking a child who is going to be running around..trust your instinct and go

Until the baby grows up?

I'm sure two adults and a newborn is fine it's just to stop some people who bring their entire extended family.

It's not about you though, it's about what's best for your children. Your dh is perfectly capable of taking his own son, don't expose your baby to all the illnesses floating around a hospital because of your anxiety. Also how's the older one going to feel if you did get turned away, having thought his mum was going to be there with him and now she's not?

cant dh stay in the cafe with the lo?
or in the car, assume you are driving.

I don’t think they’d stop you but there’s no way I’d take a baby that small into a hospital. I work in one.

Professionally I’ve also had the experience of an anxious parent really affecting the child in the anaesthetic bay.

If you think your toddler will be more settled and feel safer with you there then go. The idlers needs are paramount here. The baby needs you too so take them.

if you think your DH will be calm and you won’t and your toddler goes to him for safety too then that might be best.

Don’t worry about taking the baby. That’s different to taking a sibling that’s walking.

Came on to say this. Don’t take your newborn into virus central.