Is he entitled to be pissed off with me

[Tootiredmummyof3]

This morning wake up to a arsy text from DH. Basically pissed off with me because I didn't give him oral laser night. I was feeling really dizzy last night and still don't feel great this morning.
I didn't reply but then text me 3 minutes later saying he'd taken the car to work. He knew it wasn't well last night and he didn't check if I felt up to walking to school or ask me to drop him off at work.
I texted him thanks for taking the car when you know I'm dizzy. No reply because what can he say.
I know I'm not being unreasonable to be annoyed with him but is he also unreasonable to be pissed off with me?

Wtf. I have zero libido so no sex life. Dh is probably a bit sad/frustrated but he wouldn't want to have sex with an unwilling partner (big turnoff). I've told him that if it's a dealbreaker for him than we divorce but he says as long as he's got his right hand he'll be all right😅.

Seriously OP, you're husband is an immature, entitled dick. I couldn't stay with a man like that.

Does he think it's alluring to be sexually coercive? Does he have no interest in a mutually satisfying sex life? I can't understand where these men are coming from.

He's disgusting. Seems like he thinks you've given up your job to sex work for him.

You need to have it out with him and don't oblige him until he's changed his behaviour. It will further escalate the longer you put up with it.

I bet your sister fucking hates him. Keep talking to her, hopefully she will provide you with support so you can get out if he doesn't change back to 'how he was before'.

One of the worst things I’ve read on mn
That coercion is on a whole new level!

I want our marriage to work. No matter what DS absolutely adores his dad and looks for him all the time when he's at work so it's not as simple as just leave him. Leaving him for sulking seems OTT.

Your marriage hasn't worked op. I'm very sorry. Because your husband is now abusive. He might not have always been. He is now and we only live in the present.

You wouldn't be leaving him for sulking. You'd be leaving him for sexual coercion (a crime), emotional abuse and manipulation (sulking) and like you said above, because he doesn't care about you at all. He doesn't. Maybe he once did. He doesn't now.

This will only get worse.

Please properly consider leaving for both yourself and your childrens sake. And the sooner the better. You are downtrodden - the fact that you had to ask the question 'is my husband allowed to sexually abuse me' shows you are well on your way, probably already there, of completely losing sight of what an equal and pleasant relationship looks like.

Good luck op, this is a lot to take in, but you need to leave.

That's horrific OP and abusive

Vile man

I'd rather be single than be with a man like that.

Does he think that you owe him as you are now financially dependent on him?

Vile behavior.

You wouldn't be divorcing your husband for sulking, it would be because he is a sex pest amongst other things.

You need to understand the replies you are getting here.

Reverse this op to help you understand.

Your husband is poorly one evening. You think this is a good time to demand oral. You then take the means of transport that he might need. You send him a stroppy text the next morning complaining about not giving you oral. He then asks his friends how to be a better husband.

No?

I bet you'd get him some soup and send him to bed for sleep.

Why do you value yourself lower than what you would do for him?

Who the hell are the 7% of votes who think OP is being unreasonable?

No-one is entitled to sex, and to sulk and punish OP by taking the car is disgusting behaviour. What a dreadful man he is.

“Leaving him for sulking seems OTT”
it’s not leaving him for sulking, it’s leaving him for coercive control (ie punishment for not complying with what he wants, like taking the car) and complete disrespect daily.

So basically he is treating you like a prostitute as he pays for everything and you don’t work, you have to provide blow jobs on command or he will make you suffer.

how is it even a question if he’s entitled to be pissed off op. What happened to you where you don’t know the answer to this.

It will be 'unreasonable to have to ask the question rather than leave him.'

Oh how awful. I am so sorry you have been treated this way. It’s absolutely disgusting

Eeeew poor you
Hope you feel better today OP
YANBU at all but maybe have a think about what a healthy relationship looks like for you? The fact you're asking the question I find a little worrying.
Prioritise you and don't feel guilty. He spikes like a self centred disrespectful childish nob. A large boot behind his derrière towards the front door would be my reaction .

Men who get angry when a woman doesn't want sex are dangerous. Now you have stopped working, he thinks that you are in a subordinate position because you rely on him financially and he is taking advantage of that. He thinks that you can't afford to leave him now so he will ramp up his sexually aggressive, controlling behaviour.

What I can’t understand is all these references to ‘asking’ for sex. Surely sex happens because two people want it and because it follows kisses and cuddles? Since when do people have to ask for sex? That’s weird.
i can’t imagine someone saying ‘how about it tonight, then’. That, for me, would be a definite turn-off!

oh my god, people aren't telling you to leave him because he's sulky.

put it this way, he would at least smile at a sex worker. you don't even get that.

It sounds like because you are a SAHM now that he thinks you are also a daily sex provider just there to service his needs.

OP, are you having sex with him or giving him oral even on days you don’t feel like it?

He thinks you're trapped with him Op so now the nasty side of him has come out. I'm afraid the nice man you married has gone, if you can leave I'd do it before he starts punishing your DS as well

Frankly, I'm still reeling at the phrase: "He wants some kind of sex every day."
This sounds just like my friend whose husband demanded sex every day of their 25-year marriage, excluding the brief times when she was in hospital giving birth. She had long suspected that he was unfaithful and eventually discovered that there had been a whole string of women throughout their marriage when he eventually left her for someone else. It was a very bitter pill for her to swallow when she remembered all the times she had felt unwell or bone tired, but nevertheless, had still been expected to put his pleasure before her wellbeing.

After the divorce she met a wonderful man and, for the first time experienced the joy of a caring relationship and amazing sex. Your husband is a total cunt. In your position I'd seriously look at how I could disentangle myself from him - and actually, if you permanently gave up servicing any of his sexual needs, I doubt it would be too long before he found someone else mug enough to take on the task and leave of his own accord. You have a chance to get rid - take it!

He sounds gross! That would give me the ick big time.

No he's isn't entitled to be pissed off with you. No decent man on this planet would be.

The solution here is work on getting your DS back into a full timetable, be that specialist SEN school or whatever is needed for him to be supported in the right way in the system.

Then get yourself back into work.

Then leave the revolting sex pest.

Honestly he is disgraceful.