Is he entitled to be pissed off with me

[Tootiredmummyof3]

This morning wake up to a arsy text from DH. Basically pissed off with me because I didn't give him oral laser night. I was feeling really dizzy last night and still don't feel great this morning.
I didn't reply but then text me 3 minutes later saying he'd taken the car to work. He knew it wasn't well last night and he didn't check if I felt up to walking to school or ask me to drop him off at work.
I texted him thanks for taking the car when you know I'm dizzy. No reply because what can he say.
I know I'm not being unreasonable to be annoyed with him but is he also unreasonable to be pissed off with me?

He does get a bit moody when I say no, which isn't often tbf but taking the car when I knew I had to take DS to school is what upset me. I'm not so dizzy now, more of a banging headache and feeling a bit yuck.
It's not far to school and normally I walk but DH knew I was bad last night and it feels like he doesn't care.

It feels like he doesn’t care because he doesn’t.
Someone who did care would not be able to do such a good impression of an abusive git.

This... exactly this

Him taking the car to work is the least of your problems, the worrying thing is….you can’t see it.

He is punishing you because you didn't behave.

Wtf have I just read!?

What is with all these posts about men getting grumpy sulky and rude when they don’t get sex !
what the achual fuck !
you don’t need to be ill to refuse sex , it’s ok just to not fancy it

punishing you for lack of oral is abuse and would kill of any love for me

what are you going to do ?

Men treating their partners like prostitutes/sex dolls seems to be a running theme on MN at the moment. Grim and depressing. You've got much bigger issues than walking to school with a headache OP.

Absolutely this. I imagine there is a lot more awful behaviour in this relationship if you scratch the surface. And you won't be able to see it as he has worn you down over the years.

And any man who is happy to complain about no blow job, not even just in person but send a text about it is disgusting. If my husband sent me anything remotely like that my reply would be good luck ever getting another blow job from me.

So he feels entitled to sex and to sulk and punish you if he doesn't get it. You have much bigger problems than a headache Op

It's not only sex that he feels entitled to, it is sex that only he benefits from. He wasn't sulking that he couldn't go down on you was he?

Regarding the dizziness have you had antibiotics lately? There was a type of antibiotic that gave me vertigo. If you're still dizzy at all today it's worth seeing a doctor.

What a disgusting man.

Anyway the way to deal with things like the car is to not let him know it affected you. Either don't reply and don't mention it or say 'no problem, feeling much better this morning' or 'no problem friend taking DC to school'. He's getting a thrill from treating you like shit OP, don't give him any satisfaction and please think about your future with someone who clearly doesn't value you.

He's disgusting, OP.

Dear god @Tootiredmummyof3 , I’m so sorry you find yourself with this abusive poor excuse for a human being.

He is punishing you for not giving him oral? WTAF? This is wrong on so many levels. I do hope you can see that. 💐

Gross

He makes me feel guilty. I am pissed off with him but I still feel guilty. DS is at home today because he's on a reduced timetable it's not as simple as asking another mum to drop off and pick up.
I know there's no point talking about it with DH. He will say he wasn't sulking and he needed the car (even though he gets a lift every other day. I just couldn't believe I woke up to that message. It isn't the first time but it's the first time for a long time.
I don't know why he does this. I spoke to my sister this morning and she said it'd obvious why he does it, it's so you don't say no again. I suppose she's right but it's hard to accept that.

He’s being a dick and you are right to be angry as his behaviour in response is abusive and is coercive control. If this is his normal behaviour I’d tell him to FO and speak to your solicitor.

However, you shouldn’t be driving if you feel dizzy…

Ew. What a vile man.

I have never given my DH oral. Why? Because I really, really hate it.

He wouldn't enjoy something I didn't want to do, whether that was just for one night or for 10 years (we have been together).

He wanted you to do it whilst unwell and then punished you by taking the care when it affects not only you, but your children?

That would be a deal breaker for me, I would end the relationship.

Exactly.

I have never given "oral" to any fucking man and happily stopped having sex altogether at 41.
Husband happy (big age difference, no problems).

How utterly vile.

WTF did you marry - he sounds like a right fucking twat. Why are you with him - is this the sort of man you want your children to emulate?

What sort of scumbag are you married to. He's punishing you for not performing a sex act on him. He doesn't care if your into it or not. He only care about emptying his balls. He isn't viewing you as a person with body autonomy but as someone who is their to meet his needs. He needs to learn about consent and coercion.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

Your sister is right, he's coercing you into compliance in future as you know what happens if you say no. He's disgusting

Of course it is.

It's a punishment. Punishments are to stop unwanted behaviour. You saying no is the unwanted behaviour he's trying to stop.

He's honestly vile.

He doesn't care.
He feels entitled to punish you if you don't perform the sex act he wants.

Your sister is right, the proof is that you actually feel guilty for it, which is exactly what happens when someone abuses you this way.

Do you think he ever feels guilty for his behaviour?

He makes me feel guilty.

Of course he does, he’s manipulating you into doing what he wants. This is abusive coercive behaviour @Tootiredmummyof3 .