Happier without wife

[SpunkyAmberReader]

My wife and I were both born here but our parents immigrated here. Her parents still have a large family back 'home' are travel back there frequently. Over the past few years, they've required some help travelling and my wife is the one who travels with them, as she is the one child who is a SAHM. Occasionally, our children will travel with them but usually the trips are during term time, so they tend to stay home with me.

She travelled for 3 weeks in November and has gone this Friday for a week.

I've realised that I am much happier when she's gone. I am more relaxed, happier, looking forward to the weekend etc. The house is peaceful; no one is shouting, complaining. I don't have to pretend to be interested in her friends' problems and I'm not on edge wondering if I say or do the wrong thing. One is going to moan that I left the milk out or the cereal box. It's a chill life.

Our children are both in the later stages of primary school, and are fairly self sufficient. We have a cleaner who does the house work and will help with the school run if required.

I shouldn't feel this way. Is it reasonable to feel this way.

Sounds a great life..Unless you miss them of course.

Everything is calm and chilled perhaps because she carries the load and makes sure everything is done before she goes?

Miss who?

Do you not put the milk or cereal away unless instructed to do so? Or do you just not put it away when your wife is home, because she will do it for you?

@AlloaintheMiddle What load? There’s a cleaner and the school run is taken care of. Maybe it is nicer when she’s not around. Is that hard to grasp? I reckon if this post was a woman discussing how lovely life is when her husband is away it might have been met with a different vibe from you?

Sorry I think I've misunderstood. Has your wife got the kids with her ?

If she's away on her own, do you miss her ? If you don't miss her then your relationship seems to be a bit , um, not right, surely ?

Cleaning and school run? There is nothing else to do/think about?

How do you know the OP is a man?

It sounds like she is nagging and complaining when you are around, maybe you would both be happier apart.

Leave your wife, then. You've just listed a massive amount of reasons why not to be with your wife.

Sounds like you know what you need to do. You deserve to be happy.

If you’re living life feeling like you’re walking on eggshells then this isn’t a good relationship for you. You should not have to be shouted at or constantly worried that you’re doing something wrong in your own home.

You might be happier without your wife around short term, but you need to work out of you’d still feel happier if she was gone long term as well.

No, they usually stay with me because the trips are often during term time.

It's neither reasonable or not. Reasonableness does not come in to it when discussing your life partner.
Think what it is your wife brings to the family. I'm not talking about the practical stuff. But is she nurturing, does she engage with you and the children? Is it that she is stressed having to look after her own immediate family plus relatives? I get quite stressed by travel and if she's going a lot of caring of other family members her frustrations may be taken out when at home.
And how do you feel about her? Are there ways t make being away from home easier for her?
But ultimately if you are happier without her that rather does suggest your relationship isn't as it should be. Try and identify WHY it is more relaxing, why there is less arguing/complaining. Are you taking on full responsibility when she is away or does someone help you (other than the cleaner).
When she returns and has settled back into being at home you should fit fine and find out if SHE is unhappy too. And maybe you can both work to make life easier fur both of you.
And why don't you put the milk away?!?

Does it occur to you that your wife is probably happier too?

BTW children in the late stages of primary should not be considered self sufficient!!!!
My 11 year old needs emotional support with friendships etc, taking to hobbies, helping with homework, showing how to do chores.

I love my single life.

If you prefer it when when she is away that that tells you all you need to know. When she goes away, it's a bit like a holiday for you. A permanent split would be very different. What do you want?

Exactly 😂

In terms of getting dressed, brushing teeth, breakfast, getting a snack, getting their school bag ready or asking for help, they are completely self sufficient.

Of course she is happier. She doesn't have to worry about anything; she can just relax on holiday.

But what about appointments, school stuff, all.the admin if children? What about uniform buying and shoes and organising extra curriculars and birthday parties (theirs and the ones they go to) and sleepovers and dentists and literally everything else children need? And the home running stuff too?

Who's going to do that?

Based on your description you believe you get little/nothing from the relationship. You dont sound like you even like your wife let alone love her.

Have a chat and start separating.

You've said you are happier alone and financially the sooner you split the better off you'll be.

Btw your kids sound fab she's clearly done a great job with them.

My other half worked away from home. The nature of the job meant I never knew when he would be back. Although we had on no arguments, it was so much more relaxing when they were away.

I think it is reasonable when there is one less person to consider to feel happier. I never minded taking full responsibility when I was on my own as I did most of it when they were here. They would bring work problems in with them, be irritated with me and the kids and never really appreciated my contribution .

Sounds like you dont like her or her friends, but maybe you're just a bit unfriendly

What a depressing life for everyone involved, children included.