Happier without wife

[SpunkyAmberReader]

My wife and I were both born here but our parents immigrated here. Her parents still have a large family back 'home' are travel back there frequently. Over the past few years, they've required some help travelling and my wife is the one who travels with them, as she is the one child who is a SAHM. Occasionally, our children will travel with them but usually the trips are during term time, so they tend to stay home with me.

She travelled for 3 weeks in November and has gone this Friday for a week.

I've realised that I am much happier when she's gone. I am more relaxed, happier, looking forward to the weekend etc. The house is peaceful; no one is shouting, complaining. I don't have to pretend to be interested in her friends' problems and I'm not on edge wondering if I say or do the wrong thing. One is going to moan that I left the milk out or the cereal box. It's a chill life.

Our children are both in the later stages of primary school, and are fairly self sufficient. We have a cleaner who does the house work and will help with the school run if required.

I shouldn't feel this way. Is it reasonable to feel this way.

When she tells you she is cold do you put the heating up?

When she tells you she has a headache do you get her some painkillers?

I am wondering if she says it 20 times because you ignore her.

It’s quite normal! I have quite a few friends whose husbands work away and they say the same thing.

There’s been a few threads recently that seem to be started by certain types of men. Not suggesting this is one of course, but it’s odd how many blokes are posting about how disposable their marriages are at the moment.

You admit you resent her.
You state you prefer not to be around her.
You dont explicitly say but it is fairly clear you have no respect for her or her contribution to the household.

Just get a divorce if you think she's such a deadweight.

I dont get what you want.... Pretty much every women on here is like - just get a divorce if you think shes so awful.

From your own description of your life it sounds like she's miserable being married to you too, it also cant be fun for the kids so it would prob be best all round 🤷🏻‍♀️

We were out walking and I asked if she wanted to go back home. She didn't but she kept mentioning how cold she was.

Our home is kept at a balmy 20c.

We have a supply of painkillers that would make Boots jealous. I always offer and she always takes them but...

Sounds to me like he likes to live like a slob.

Not at all.

Thought the exact same ... MNs are sexist

Your pp suggest you do not do any of those things.

Do the children miss her?

If your kitchen is cold enough that the milk is fine left out, no wonder she is bloody cold.
Milk needs to be stored in the fridge so stored at 5 degrees C or lower. Is your kitchen 5 degrees? Thought not, put the sodding milk away.

It speaks volumes that you think it's unreasonable that you are expected to put the milk back in the fridge after using it. I'd love to hear your wife's side of this as I suspect you leave clothes on the floor (because they are fine there right), dirty cups around and generally don't pick up after yourself. Grow up

You clearly no longer like your wife and find her bids for connection irritating and think you can do your share of parenting ( now the hard slog of baby and toddler years are done ) so do you and her a favour and divorce, she will then have to get a job and you won't have to pretend to have empathy for a significant other.

Sounds to me like he’s got it covered and the house runs more smoothly without her.

I put the milk near the window, the window has an air vent, so it's pretty cool. I wouldnt keep the milk outside during spring or summee because it would spoil. But in winter, in the kitchen, near a window vent, the milk will remain fine.

I thought you said your heating was at 20?

I don't understand how you can reach that conclusion.

I’m keep my milk on the side sometimes if I’m up and down for regular coffees. Just put it back in the fridge when I’ve finished for the day. I didn’t realise it made me such a slob.

I don't know why everyone bangs on about booking dentist and doctors appointments, buying and wrapping friends' birthday presents and - the worst one of all - buying uniform as the biggest "mental loads". Bloody hell, no wonder everyone is so unhappy if these are the challenges.

Keeping a house tidy with small kids around, now that's the backbreaker.

<<Misses point of thread>>

You're being facetious. I was clearly taking about doing simple tasks themselves, such as dressing and getting their bags ready.

Your children (since you don't seem to miss your wife).

I felt like this when my DH was away, I was also happy when he came back. It's nice to have a break sometimes. It doesn't mean I don't love him. Everyday life can be stressful, relationships have ups and downs. It's not some fairytale where you are always happy with no disagreements and no need for compromise.

Then divorce. A lot of people do.

The milk will go off eventually if you keep leaving it out.

It's a small 1 pint carton. I make about 10 cups of coffee of day and I use about 1 pint just on my own. It's never gone off in winter.

Why she is travelling abroad for holidays at random times and leaves the kids with you only. Is she not working and spending your money on her travels or?