To think this shouldn't be said to nursery children

[Stich2]

If they're crying. 'stop crying, you're fine'?

Why would it not be ok? I'm sure I'll have said it to my own kids when they were nursery age.

Why?

I admit I have said this to my own. I do try and validate as much as I can, but sometimes there comes a point where you’ve done what you can and everyone needs to move on! Not in line with best practice parenting, I’m aware, but I am only human.

Depends. Context is important.

Was it being said in a kind, reassuring way? Or was it said curtly?

Was child genuinely hurt or distressed? Or is child a crier who needs a bit of a firm hand?

What's your objection to this @Stich2?

Context? Age of child?
If we’re talking about a preschooler that is only crying because they don’t like that they’ve been told off or removed for hurting a friend then I don’t get the issue… Obviously different with younger kids or one that is genuinely injured. Context is everything really and your post is ridiculously vague!

It's fine.

It’s fine and a lot of kids just whine and do need to be told to stop. As others have said context is everything so your vague OP is ridiculous

Nursery children include 3-4yo. Yes lots of situations where that's a suitable response.

I wouldn't say it to a child under 2yo.

What's the context?

It's fine. They cry sometimes and need to be bought out of that cycle.

Really depends on tone and context.

Said curtly to a hurt, upset two year old clutching their head - obviously not ok.

Said kindly to a stropping four year old after other attempts at distraction have failed - ok.

I actually that is cruel. I would say ‘it’s alright.’

All depends on context. Child crying because they've been told off - it would be ok to say this after confirming that the incident is over and it is time to move on. Child crying because it's not their turn to go on the bike - acceptable. Child crying because they've just been dropped off and want parent - Acceptable after a bit of consolation and distraction. Child crying after falling over - acceptable after adult has given sympathy and checked they are not hurt.

I have never said this to any of my children, and would not be happy at nursery doing this. There are better and more constructive ways of getting across the same message.

Oh God, I'm a nursery teacher and it's posts like this that make me want to give up. Agree that context is important and might have a point (assume you're complaining?) but as a breed, we are generally not unkind, unfeeling people who go around dismissing children's feelings. I've said this to children, but in a supportive, encouraging way, to reassure them. Never just to make them shut up or because I can't be bothered. That's not what we do. Maybe I have misunderstood your post and should have waited for context. In short, my answer to your question is: almost certainly fine, probably a good thing.

I’ve said it to mine on more than one occasion. If you’re fine and there are a whole lot of crocodile tears going on then yes, they do need to stop crying because they are fine.

Boy who cried wolf and all that

It depends on the context but generally I can't see an issue with that.

This it to children 15 months-under 2 years and said in a bit of a snappy, harsh way

Can you clarify why it's not okay?

I agree it is not an acceptable thing to say.

Many people say it, it is often said to children, but it is not a healthy thing to say.

Sorry, I was quite vague and because I'd have thought comforting a child under 2yo, who is probably tired, wants mummy, overwhelmed, is better than telling them that they are fine, stop crying in a bit of a curt tone

You’re really going to have to give more information if you want any meaningful replies.

It’s absolutely fine. Sometimes children need to hear this. It gives them context as to when it’s good to make a fuss and when it’s not. It also helps them to learn when to “move on” from something that’s happened. It helps to make children resilient which is a learning point that a lot of parents seem to be missing.

What alternative are you suggesting? “There, there little Tommy; you have the right to express the fact that you’re upset. Let’s discuss it”. Bloody ridiculous and there’s too much of this namby-pambying