To think this shouldn't be said to nursery children

[Stich2]

If they're crying. 'stop crying, you're fine'?

Genuinely hurt or upset child, no it's not okay. But child who's whining crying, not getting their own way etc, don't indulge it. There are different types of crying and yes, they are communication, but I don't respond to all communication with the same level of seriousness.

This.

I would always hug the child and ask why they're crying. I would always reassure saying that it's ok & allow the child to cry. But these days nurses etc aren't allowed to do that kind of thing for fear of being accused of abuse.

I agree! No empathy or support!

I absolutely hate it.

Because you can’t demand that someone stops crying and it’s not up to you to decide if someone is ok and that they don’t need to cry.

I hate it too.

I think it depends on how it's said (reassuring vs angry) and also on why the child is crying,

It’s absolutely fine

Surely @Stich2 and strawberryjeans are one and the same person? Just in the last few days I've seen there has been a sudden resurgence of posts and reignition of long zombied threads. These are all thinly veiled and along the lines of all nurseries =terrible and woman must stay at home and raise their children and not use any form of paid childcare, lest their children be damaged for life. Now who would have an agenda like that I wonder? The patriarchy? The Daily Mail or some other rotten attempt at 'journalism'?

Fact remains, most children do pretty well in childcare.

Our grandparents and parents used to say 'stop crying or I will give you something to cry about'. Didn't do us any harm, no mental health issues with me or any of my schoolfriend ... who, I'm sure had the same message.

100%. It paves the way for people having more important things shut down and their feelings invalidated.

Of course it not ok. If a child is crying, thery are not ok.

If this is an apple/tree scenario, then it was probably a helpful nudge towards emotional regulation and a grounded perspective :)

That's abusive

Another one of "those parents" determined to find issue with teachers at every turn.

If I'm upset I don't want someone telling me to get over it

No child is popular at nursery

I'd get told as a kid. Stop crying or ill give you something to cry about.

It's unnecessary. They aren't fine if they're crying. Even if the reason they are crying has been deemed unimportant by the adult.

Namby-pambying? They're all under 2 years old FFS. They're not 6ft talk 6ft wide hard case gangsters in Belmarsh!
I think the alternative would be to reassure them and say things like Its Okay Mummy will be here soon. Shall we draw a nice picture for her.
With children it can be a case of constantly reassuring them. If they can't handle crying children they're in the wrong job.

No it's definitely NOT ok. If they're crying, then something has upset them or they're hurting or worried about something.

We don't tend to just cry for no reason, so why would we tell a small child to stop crying ??

What’s ridiculous about that? Letting children cry is developmentally appropriate. My parents ridiculed me for crying and it did not lead to me having good mental health in adulthood.

Tone is everything. The words themselves, said in a kind and reassuring way are absolutely fine. A snappy and curt tone as per your updates changes things.

The ones who think this is okay I hope you don't work with Children

There's a big shortage of nursery staff due to the poor pay and conditions, so we should just be glad anyone is prepared to work in nurseries to be honest.

This is why it must be difficult when you are working in a nursery environment to manage children when they may have been parented so differently. You might have one parent who takes the approach that a child crying incessantly over something like not getting their own way should be addressed in this way. Then you might get another parent who thinks their child should never be pulled up on their behaviour, who absolutely won’t be okay with that approach. It’s a mine field for nursery workers, along with teachers I imagine.