SIL getting upset over something I said to my DOG

[Poitoi]

I recently spent a day with SIL, brother and their wedding planner. I am best woman and have quite a lot of responsibilities. It was intense but productive - we actually had a laugh.

Anyway, we went to my parents’ house after the day of planning. Here SIL heard me fussing over my dog who I hadn’t seen at all that day. At some point I said something along the lines of “Oh I missed you. A day without you is a day wasted in my book” to my dog. Obviously over the top and non-serious, I was just being silly with my dog.

Brother has since told me that SIL was really offended by this comment and is hurt. I just find that ridiculous. I told SIL on the way to my parents I had had a lovely time. I think dog people will see I was just being ott. My dog was being all snuggly and excited to see me so I just played into it.

AIBU?

It wasn't the most thoughtful or polite thing to say. I'd just apologise and reiterate that you had a lovely day and enjoyed getting ready for their wedding.

I’m a dog person, but can see that in this instance your SIL took your comment to mean that the day spent with them wedding planning was wasted. I know what you were saying, but I can also see why she’s hurt.

God they are being sensitive.

No you are not being unreasonable

I talk nonsense to my dog, but I understand why your sil was hurt. It was an insensitive and rather stupid thing to say about a day you'd spent planning their special day.

Well you just said that the day you spent with her was wasted so I can see why she would be upset about this.

It was a really weird thing to say tbh! And yes, it was rude - you were saying that you considered the day wasted. 🤨

SIL sounds like trouble and very precious.

I can see why she might find it a bit hurtful when you'd literally just spent the day with her. It could have come off as pointed and passive aggressive.

Not worth making a big deal out of, of course, but a bit tactless of you.

My god, YANBU. Some people are ridiculous about dogs, and your SIL sounds like one of them

I can see both sides but I do think SIL is being very over sensitive but maybe it's partly nerves about the wedding.
I'd probably apologise just to keep the peace. Say you had a lovely day but just missed your dog.

its a bit of an odd thing to say given the circumstance. Just apologise and say soz it hadn’t dawned on you how that might had sounded and that’s just a phrase you always say to your dog.

My best friend has 3 dogs and I was about to say your SIL is being ridiculous then I pictured that scenario, and no. I can see it.

It sounds like she interpreted it as a passive aggressive comment towards her that you wasted a day. It was an odd thing to say that you wasted your day when the people you spent it with can hear you.

I think she's over sensitive.

I was just being playful in my eyes. I had such a ott welcome from my dog and i was sort of meeting him at that level by making that equally dramatic /silly throwaway comment. That was the context. Really didn’t connect it with SIL or the day in my mind.

If I were in your SIL's shoes I would assume you were letting off steam about the day (if you thought I couldn't hear) or making a passive aggressive comment about it directed at me (if you knew I could). I can completely see why she wasn't impressed.

On the one hand, she could just be being oversensitive, but on the other, it does sound a little like you were making a passive-aggressive comment in her hearing about the day with the wedding planner being a waste of your time.

She overheard a lovely moment between you and your dog, and got her knickers in a twist.

Your dog won't have understood your words where as your SIL would have so I think your words were really aimed at your SIL.

This

I think she was being over sensitive but I've also come across people that make passive aggressive comments to their pets so I get where she is coming from. I think reiterate that you had a lovely day and you weren't making a dig.

I wouldn’t have said anything but it would put me right off you, I’d feel like you were passively aggressively making a point to me and I hate people who make sly digs like that. I can see you might not have meant it that way but she’s not wrong.

But I clearly was enjoying myself throughout the day - laughing, joking etc. And then on the way home expressed exactly that.

You do know your dog can’t speak English yeah? Are you upset it’s not a bridesmaid or something?

Um, you know that your dog didn’t understand the words you said, right? You saying that is not “meeting him at that level.” You said it for you, not for your dog. And it’s an odd thing to say.

I’d greet my dogs with silly ways, but not really such a directed comment about the people I’d spent the day with. More stupid comments about missing their silly ears and fluffy face whilst petting and cuddling them as they jumped on me.