SIL getting upset over something I said to my DOG

[Poitoi]

I recently spent a day with SIL, brother and their wedding planner. I am best woman and have quite a lot of responsibilities. It was intense but productive - we actually had a laugh.

Anyway, we went to my parents’ house after the day of planning. Here SIL heard me fussing over my dog who I hadn’t seen at all that day. At some point I said something along the lines of “Oh I missed you. A day without you is a day wasted in my book” to my dog. Obviously over the top and non-serious, I was just being silly with my dog.

Brother has since told me that SIL was really offended by this comment and is hurt. I just find that ridiculous. I told SIL on the way to my parents I had had a lovely time. I think dog people will see I was just being ott. My dog was being all snuggly and excited to see me so I just played into it.

AIBU?

Sorry but you’re being massively unreasonable. See it from your SILs perspective. It comes across like you’ve been two faced all day by pretending to enjoy yourself then when you get home you make a sly dig about your day being wasted within earshot of the people you spent the day with! I’d think you were a massive cow

It depends. Was it a comment to her dog? Did she mean for SiL to hear it?
My money is on it being a comment to her dog.

SiL needs to get a grip if she gets offended by an affectionate off hand comment to their own pet.

Surely its OP who was being unreasonable about her dog, not to mention insensitive and rude.

Hmm so you were putting on a bit of a show about how much you were enjoying it and then let out the truth to your dog in front of here.

But perhaps if your DH said something along the lines of “who’s a gorgeous girl, if only everybody in my life could be as svelte and good looking as you are” whilst fussing the cat, and you were going through a rough patch of feeling frumpy and chubby, you might take it as a pointed barb rather than silly slushy nonsense.

You're giving main character syndrome.

Anyone would know that isn’t serious. I ask my dog if she is my best friend and wait for a lick. We’re all a bit mad with our dogs

I know this is a peak Mumsnet thing to say, but - you don't like her very much, do you?

Im sure she and your brother would be thrilled to consider that you valiantly ‘gave up’ a Saturday for them. Maybe sil is upset because what you said to your dog was probably a little true if that’s how you’re viewing the day

Yeh you’ve kind of revealed your true feelings there. “GIving up your Saturday”. That’s not something you say when you actually want to be somewhere and you’re genuinely having a good time. You clearly did want to be at home with your dog instead, and you let your true feelings come out passively aggressively by speaking to your dog when you knew your SIL could hear you. Bit of a shit thing to do.

It’s just giving main character syndrome

Do you said something that was hurtfull and then when she expressed her hurt over it you accuse her of having main character syndrome

You really are not coming across as a very nice person, you are bitchy, thoughtless and selfish and then you try to push the blame onto someone else

Work on your character

At some point I said something along the lines of “Oh I missed you. A day without you is a day wasted in my book” to my dog

Sounds quite a mean passive-aggressive thing to say in your SiL’s hearing after being with her all day.

Why? OP was talking to her dog, not her SiL.
She was using daft language and being endearing to her dog.
SiL overheard it, got shitty about it, and is somehow the one who is NBU here?

If you are an adult, and get upset about how someone is talking to their pet, then maybe you need to get a grip.

People often use their pets to say things they want to say. What you said could easily be read as you passive-aggressively expressing how you felt about the day under the guise of lovey-dovey dog chat. I love dogs btw and talk absolute nonsense to them - but I think what you said was very clumsy at best.

Maybe unconsciously you wanted to burst their bubble?

I actually like my SIL. And genuinely did have a nice time - we drank wine whilst finalising things like table linens, glasses etc. Everyone knows that’s right up my alley as I love interiors and crafts.

It’s just giving main character syndrome.

Well she is the main character in her life - and her wedding, actually! Quite reasonably.

Exactly this.

Well she’s not the main character in my one to one interactions with others

So even after all the MN comments, you still can’t accept that your comment was offensive ….this also says a lot about you

I tell my cat she's my favourite child in front of my DC, but they're teens & know it's a joke. I'd be more sensitive with others who don't understand I talk nonsense to my cat.

Presumably you don't tell your cat in front of your kids after a nice day with them that you wasted your day.

So you keep saying.

And if she's suffering main character syndrome, she spent the day planning her wedding!! It doesn't necessarily mean she's going to be a bridezilla.

Whatever you meant (as you keep telling us) that's not what she heard. Would it hurt you to apologise?

What's quite ironic is this entire thread and posts is me me me me me me.

You have to tell your dog these things when no one else is around, because those people get upset about being inferior. It's not their fault they could never be as good as a dog.

Agree