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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

368 replies

GLP1U5er · 25/01/2025 21:52

But back with them now. They have been drinking since 11am. I spoke with one of her friends and they said she went to the toilet but went the wrong way and left the bar. I had called her at that time to check in and she told me she was going back to them. She shared her location with me and I saw she got back to the bar her friends were in. I called a but later when I saw she was walking again and a slightly more sober friend came on to tell me she was fine and they had rang her when she went the wrong way then met her and brought her back.

She is 21 but I'm very nervous now that she is that much of a state she went the wrong way in a city she hasn't been drinking in before and is hotelling in. I live 1hr20 mins away and am on the verge of getting a hotel and staying on the city for the night incase it happens again when her friends are too drunk to react.

WWYD?

OP posts:
bluecloudme · 25/01/2025 21:53

I would do what you are suggesting.

Lesina · 25/01/2025 21:54

Yes I would do the same.

Ablondiebutagoody · 25/01/2025 21:55

I wouldn't have been getting involved in any of it. Tracking, hassling her friends......she's 21 ffs

Truetoself · 25/01/2025 21:55

Can you not tell the friends to get her home?

Chattycatt · 25/01/2025 21:56

I would go and get her if she’s not capable of navigating the city/area - having said that can you keep tracking her? I’m not that tech savvy so not sure if you are able to do that?

TheBoysAndTheBallet · 25/01/2025 21:56

She's 21?!! I would chill the fuck out.

takealettermsjones · 25/01/2025 21:56

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

Cam29 · 25/01/2025 21:56

Can you just keep tracking location instead if she is happy to share it with you anyway?

Pigeonqueen · 25/01/2025 21:57

Ablondiebutagoody · 25/01/2025 21:55

I wouldn't have been getting involved in any of it. Tracking, hassling her friends......she's 21 ffs

This.

I think you’re too over involved. It’s a bit of a rite of passage getting drunk at that age and it sounds like she’s with others. My dd is 22 and it’s hard letting go but you really have to.

MintTwirl · 25/01/2025 21:58

She’s 21, you have to let her be an adult.

NuffSaidSam · 25/01/2025 21:58

I'm not sure what I'd do tonight. Probably leave it, but lie awake worrying.

Tomorrow, I'd have a chat with her about her drinking.

Mangoesintoapub · 25/01/2025 21:58

Shes 21 and with her friends, leave it.

BlondeMamaToBe · 25/01/2025 21:58

She needs to be told not to drink so much if she’s going to lose her wits about her.

Nobody wants their mam around.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/01/2025 21:58

I remember Libby Squire, she was outside her house and was still targeted.
I would go myself, just incase.

luckylavender · 25/01/2025 21:59

When I was 21 my mother would have had no idea who I was separated from & how drunk I was & would not have been able to contact my friends. It was better for both of us.

Thisisthemomentforchange · 25/01/2025 22:00

I don't understand why a 21 year old adult needs her Mum to look after her when she is out socialising.
She has friends who seem to be looking out for her.
Perhaps when next you see her you could have a conversation with her about the stupidity of drinking so much you don't know what you are doing.

Octavia64 · 25/01/2025 22:01

She's got friends with her.

If you go in and try to get her would she actually go with you or would it be a massive row?

takealettermsjones · 25/01/2025 22:01

TomatoSandwiches · 25/01/2025 21:58

I remember Libby Squire, she was outside her house and was still targeted.
I would go myself, just incase.

But how would her mum being present at a nearby hotel have made any difference?

Original poster
GLP1U5er · 25/01/2025 22:04

I wouldn't go get her unless she was separated again. I wouldn't let her know I was staying nearby, it's more to be on hand just in case. Either way I probably won't sleep wherever I am but there would be something reassuring about being near by. Yes it'd have been better if I'd never known but I do and that's spiked anxiety and unsure if what I am thinking us too extreme because I am in a panic or not.

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 25/01/2025 22:04

Don't be ridiculous, OP. She'll be fine - her friends are with her. It will be much worse if you turn up as the overbearing parent and then embarrass your daughter.
Stop checking, and go to bed.

BrieHugger · 25/01/2025 22:05

TomatoSandwiches · 25/01/2025 21:58

I remember Libby Squire, she was outside her house and was still targeted.
I would go myself, just incase.

She wasn’t outside her house.

HowardTJMoon · 25/01/2025 22:05

She's with friends who are clearly looking out for her. She'll be fine.

Catza · 25/01/2025 22:06

I can't imagine my mum "calling to check in" when I was out of town with friends at 21. And then proceed to ring my friends before booking herself into a hotel... That's not normal behaviour.

NerrSnerr · 25/01/2025 22:07

I don't understand why it got to the stage of you talking to her friends and getting so involved.

It really doesn't sound like anything awful is happening, she's very drunk and couldn't find her fiends for a bit but then found them. Why does that warrant a hotel?

pompey38 · 25/01/2025 22:08

GLP1U5er · 25/01/2025 21:52

But back with them now. They have been drinking since 11am. I spoke with one of her friends and they said she went to the toilet but went the wrong way and left the bar. I had called her at that time to check in and she told me she was going back to them. She shared her location with me and I saw she got back to the bar her friends were in. I called a but later when I saw she was walking again and a slightly more sober friend came on to tell me she was fine and they had rang her when she went the wrong way then met her and brought her back.

She is 21 but I'm very nervous now that she is that much of a state she went the wrong way in a city she hasn't been drinking in before and is hotelling in. I live 1hr20 mins away and am on the verge of getting a hotel and staying on the city for the night incase it happens again when her friends are too drunk to react.

WWYD?

behave yourself, what you’re going to do if she does this or worse while on a holiday abroad? fly over?
she seems to be having good friends, have a word with her but it may as well be a genuine mistake easily done even when sober