WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

[GLP1U5er]

But back with them now. They have been drinking since 11am. I spoke with one of her friends and they said she went to the toilet but went the wrong way and left the bar. I had called her at that time to check in and she told me she was going back to them. She shared her location with me and I saw she got back to the bar her friends were in. I called a but later when I saw she was walking again and a slightly more sober friend came on to tell me she was fine and they had rang her when she went the wrong way then met her and brought her back.

She is 21 but I'm very nervous now that she is that much of a state she went the wrong way in a city she hasn't been drinking in before and is hotelling in. I live 1hr20 mins away and am on the verge of getting a hotel and staying on the city for the night incase it happens again when her friends are too drunk to react.

WWYD?

A text would have done.

Found my pals see you tomorrow.

I've already said I agree on that point and find the checking in timing suspicious.

This is frankly weird and a bit too codependent. She’s 21, not 14. Why are you having these conversations, why do you even know she’s out getting pissed - and staying in a hotel in case you are needed? WTAF, that’s just bonkers. Chill TF out and both of you live your lives!

These are the kinds of things you do when you're 21, OP. You're far too involved.

Does she know you can see her location, and seem to be tracking her every move.
She is with friends. She is out on the town. She is 21.
Driving in the night to stay in a hotel just incase tells me you need a hobby and some friends, in the nicest possible way.

You are ridiculously over-involved.

Shes 21 perhaps she should stop drinking and sober herself up or head to the hotel herself in a taxi early and let her friends carry on if they aren't bad. Sounds like a mistake easy done. When I started to feel drunk and uncertain I just took myself back to the place I was staying. I certainly wouldn't travel and stay over too thats excessive if shes that bad she needs to back to the hotel and sleep it off

But why would she send one? She’d told her mum she had it in hand.

Your suggestion is that she spend her nights out trying to second guess what her mum wants to hear from her. Which is not a reasonable expectation. Her mum’s anxiety isn’t even assuaged by it. She knows her DD found her friends but is still contemplating going to the city and renting a hotel room, FFS.

@GLP1U5er hows things OP, have you heard anymore? 🩷

You might want to actually read what I said instead of making things up.

I have addressed Ops irrational behaviour.

But having told her she was lost, and bear in mind we didn't hear this conversation, she could have text her mum to say she'd found them.

MN needs to stop infantalising Twenty+ year olds
They are adults

I can't believe people were encouraging OP to drive nearly 2 hours at night in case her daughter got momentarily split up from her friends.

Or are telling her to "have words about her drinking"

OP - delete the tracking app and let her live her life

All of you saying to chill out because OP's dd is 21 do you have 21 yolds yourselves? I do. She's my youngest of 4. She doesn't live at home (during term time as at university nearly 300 miles away) but if I was at all concerned for her welfare and I was close, I'd definitely be there just in case. Starting to drink at 11am sounds like she may need a bit of extra love and care tonight x

She's 21 she needs to live and learn. I would worry but I do think you're over involved.

I’m not the one who’s made anything up.

OP did not say that her DD had told her she was lost. She’d turned the wrong way out of the loos and exited the bar. She was walking back to her friends. That is not “being lost”. It’s going the wrong way and returning to where you want to be.

She wasn’t lost. There was no problem. This is all in OP’s head and it’s not reasonable to expect her DD to be second guessing what predicament her mum is imagining for her and reassuring her all the time.

Then why tell her? It's easy to lay the blame at Ops feet but it's equally probably DD made a drama out of it then went off radar.

A lot of cities have volunteers on the street nowadays. Find out if her city does and what they look like and where their portacabin thing is based. Hopefully she'll never be so drunk that she wouldn't be able to find a brightly dressed person or a caravan that never moves

Life 360 problems! You won’t sleep until you see her back at her hotel so do what makes you feel better.

Did you do the same for the older ones or is it just because she's the "baby"? Because that's how you breed resentment

And also helicopter

Agreed. She went the wrong way and her friends called her and she got back. She’s an adult. I have a friend who micromanaged her daughter to the point her 30 year daughter can’t do anything without calling her mother and panics in every and any even slightly difficult situation. You aren’t doing her any favours OP.

Given that, even once she found out her DD was back with her friends, she considered traveling to the city and getting a hotel room so she could be there to rescue her DD if things went horribly wrong, it is not “equally probable” that the DD is the drama lama in this.

Maybe dd has form for telling her she's in trouble then disappearing.

Im going to go with what the pp actually said and not your interpretation. Because it’s rude and you don’t need the answers to your questions.
its quite obvious the age was mentioned because they are 21. Read.

Complete overreaction OP.

When I was 21 my mother didn't even know what hemisphere I was in, let alone anything else!

I've travelled to countries (some of them considered dodgy) completely on my own, that she has no idea about. All before I was 21.

Also, your thread title is very misleading. Your daughter was briefly separated from her friends. That's it. Don't be so fucking hysterical, she's 21, not 11.

No
OP rang her to "check in"
So OP probably asked her where she was/what she was up to
"Oh I took a wrong turn and got separated but I'm heading back to them now"

It should have been followed up by "OK sweetheart. Just be careful. See you later." (Well. It should never have happened at all)

Don't blame DD for her mother's overbearing nature