WWYD: DD drunk seperated from friends in city centre

[GLP1U5er]

But back with them now. They have been drinking since 11am. I spoke with one of her friends and they said she went to the toilet but went the wrong way and left the bar. I had called her at that time to check in and she told me she was going back to them. She shared her location with me and I saw she got back to the bar her friends were in. I called a but later when I saw she was walking again and a slightly more sober friend came on to tell me she was fine and they had rang her when she went the wrong way then met her and brought her back.

She is 21 but I'm very nervous now that she is that much of a state she went the wrong way in a city she hasn't been drinking in before and is hotelling in. I live 1hr20 mins away and am on the verge of getting a hotel and staying on the city for the night incase it happens again when her friends are too drunk to react.

WWYD?

This can't be real

Please do calm down. This sounds insane.
This and the 3am pick up thread make me realise why I am managing "adults" who are not good at adulting

She is irresponsible and needs to grow up and find a sensible approach to drinking,

Modern technology has changed parenting for the worse I think. A 21 year old who doesn't live at home should be a mystery to her mother, but because she can call 'to check in' and see her location her mother is not able to let go and allow her to live her life as the adult she is. I get it, but you MUST back off and stop doing this. It's infantilising and harmful.

When I was 21 I was travelling the world, no mobile phone! I would maybe phone home or email once a week. Nobody would have any idea what I was up to. Think you just need to leave her to it and she needs learn to be more responsible in the future.

If they've been out drinking since 11am they're not going to make it past midnight before heading it back to the hotel. DD's mates are obviously keeping an eye on her.

Also India Chipchase.

Definitely not an overreaction these days to want to share your Daughter is safe!

Stop tracking her, that's weird.

I’d do that. And next week, with she is sober I’d be discussing her drinking with her. Because how she is now is never appropriate

Good grief. We didn’t even have mobile phones when I was 21, but my mum wouldn’t have had a clue where I was or what I was getting up too, and thank god for that! Getting a hotel because your adult daughter is a bit pissed is absolutely ridiculous!

Agree, I wouldn't want my parents to know when I staggered around drunk lol 😆 Her friends all have mobiles, let them get on with it. Ugh tracking a young adult 😑

I really cannot understand this. Why are you so involved in your 21 year olds whereabouts? She is 21 not 5!

She is twenty one! Let her grow up for goodness sake.

So she just went the wrong way after going to the loo? I do that when I'm stone cold sober. I think you are being way OTT. Stop ringing her mates ffs.

You don't need to discuss her drinking with her either. She's 21 and on a night out with her mates, it's up to her how much she drinks and you don't need to lecture her about it like a child.

You are not being ridiculous as some have said. Of course you are worried and want to be to hand. I would also be furious and have a very serious talk with her when shes back home.

I have a DS and never sleep until he's home!

You need to take that tracking app off your phone. This is her life now, hard as it is to let go of our children it has to be done.

Furious? At a 21 year old? What one earth for?

Oh please, let them get on with it, she's 21! At that age I was living abroad and would've hated the idea of parent tracking. Mostly because I wouldn't want to worry them, even when drunk, friends look after you, especially now with mobile phones. Xx

I am only in my mid 20s but this sort of tracking / arranging transport (like the other thread) by parents on a young adult's night out clubbing never happened, and my social circle was middle class girls. This must be a fairly new 'trend'?

I often flicked my mum a text on a Sunday morning to let her know I was ok but nothing more than that.

Furious about what?

Furious and a serious talk!? She's 21. She's an adult and adults have free choice over what decisions they make. OP doesn't need to be on hand, she needs to take a step back.

I have a 21 year old and a 19 year old. Both are at university and so there are many things they do that I don’t know about (some I hear about afterwards but that’s because they choose to tell me). I do worry about them but that’s my problem and not theirs.

Why are you checking in on your DD in the first place? Has she not been away before or not drunk alcohol before? Do you feel happy about the friends she’s with?

Woaaaah OP, way way way too invested.

Why did you speak to her friends the second time never mind the first time?

The hotel comment is just bonkers

If she can't manage to retrace her steps having lost direction without your input. Something is very wrong.