To want to go in my garden without my neighbours being intrusive

[RandomMess]

As soon as the neighbours spot either of us put in either our front or back garden they mysteriously need to come outside for a wander and then just have to interrupt us.

I get their world is small but I just want to be left alone to do what I need to.

It is ruining any enjoyment I could potentially have if I ever actually got to use my garden instead of avoiding being out there at all.

I need to tidy up after the high winds. Managed to be out for 10 minutes max before they appeared so I've come in for a cuppa.

Talk to them at very great length about something that does interest you but don’t let them get a word in. Make it totally one sided and boring for them. Don’t let them change the subject. They’ll soon stop bothering you. Reverse psychology.

“ I am going to have to leave you now”. Stay seated. Look the other way until they go.

👏🏼🌺

if You smile and don’t listen… you might find yourself in some pickles and neighbors telling you you agreed to keep their dog/cat/beloved grandma whilst they are on holidays 😆

I know how you feel, I have like a carport and every couple of hours I like to have a cigarette and no matter what time or when I do my neighbours happen to come out or let their dogs out at the exact same time even worse if I’m sat with someone as they will listen in to my conversation. Its so annoying don’t get the obsession.

This is good.

Or perhaps ask if they could lend you some money.

“Jeeze Bob, You’re a Misery Guts today. Has she kicked you out to come and bother me? That hardly seems fair!”

”You’re especially gloomy today Bob… Did you forget to take your Prozac?”

”I know you’re not supposed to talk about it, but how long were you with the KGB, Bob? Have you interrogated anyone famous? What is your real name?”

Sod the neighbours......have you cancelled the cheque?

An invisibility cloak is your only answer! They sound very bored and in need of conversation. Erect 6ft fences pronto!

"Oh Bob, I'm so happy to see you. We're inna bit of a pickle with some credit card debt; would you be able to lend us £3-4k? We could repay £50 a month after we get our holiday paid off."

"Oh Bob, good morning; have you thought about making us that loan? We're getting a bit anxious."

"Bob, we could take a cheque right now..."

"Bob? Hope all is well, haven't seen you in the garden lately. Oh and about that loan, we're still seeking some funds but a bit more as the boiler is acting up.. Bob?"

@ohfourfoxache

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Bamboo grows very quickly and very high, and solved a similar problem for us.
I feel your frustration

Genius!

Kill them with friendliness.

Could you try doing the same to them? For each question you field, ask them something personal. For example, was that you I heard having sex last night, it was really loud, no? Oh sorry, must have been a fox. This trench I'm digging nope, it's a grave for someone annoying. The work I'm having done, oh, what works have you had done? At a stretch, I would dress in a long black dress and make a noise in the garden at 3am so they asked about it and tell them i was casting a new spell. I could go on and yes I'm pettyier than a petty thing but your neighbours would infuriate me.

High fences make for good neighbours 😂

I have a similar thing, except my neighbour appears at her upstairs window (semi detached house) and starts chatting to me from there every time. Can't even build a fence 😭 drives me insane as feel I can't enjoy my garden in peace.

It's their garden if they want to go out in it then they can if you don't like it move out

Have you asked them to give you privacy?

They're being rude and intrusive so don't feel like it's rude to say so

I totally understand your frustration. I have one neighbour who moans about absolutely everything. I have things in my life way more important than her endless moans. If i hear her, i tend to hide in another area of my garden so she doesnt know i am out, as i really just want to tell her to fuck off i have more important things to worry about. Sorry you have no escape. You could put headphones on and 'pretend' you are doing a course and have papers to listen to. Or say i'd love to chat but i have to get this done by 11am as i have an important call. Tell any sort of lie.

I understand OP, it's not the chat it's the fact that they are always coming out everytime you are in the garden. Every single time! I have a retired neighbour, shared party wall which are thin, he will follow me round my house when I wfh. So I'm upstairs working in bedroom he is the bedroom opposite to mine, I go down for lunch he goes down for lunch and so on. As I said thin walls can hear sneezing, floorboards creaking so it's obvious. In the evenings if I'm on the phone (and I now talk quietly) he will turn his tv down as soon as I'm off the tv volume goes back up...coincidence no I don't think so. Fucking creepy, why do you want to hear my conversation 😒

On the otherside my neighbours always looking out the window if I'm in my garden, what am I doing, or leaving my house at the front. Caught them so many times looking and then suddenly stepping back from the window.

I feel like I live in Truman show constantly being watched 👀

This is one step further, you poor thing

howstrong is your hose flow? it would be a pity if you were watering, turned to talk to her and she got hosed 😈

Honestly covid was worst time for me cos I couldn't escape. I thought I was being paranoid about the retired guy so once i went to bed in one bedroom he went to sleep in the same one opposite me. I got up 40 mins later and went to sleep in the other bedroom we share wall with and 10mins later he copied me (creaky floors gave it away). It's so disturbing who does that? Just confirmed it for me.

Another time just to check i wasn't being paranoid i decided to wfh but make it out i had gone to the office (open shut front door) and lucky no meetings so could stay quote quiet...funny how he stayed in his bedroom all day only came down for lunch then went back to bedroom and only came down to the lounge when he knew I was home.

It really got to me but now I e joy going back to the office so I don't care as much anymore.

I am saving for a detached house might take a while as I'm on my own but I'll be worth it 🤣

To be fair it has motivated to make sure i have a good retirement plan so jm not stuck at home all day everyday like he is

when they come out say you’re on the phone … good bye and repeat every time

Oh dear, I can only imagine that they have incredibly boring lives and thus find the details of your lives fascinating.
Quizzing your husband about the compression stocking he was wearing? Yeah, that IS truly weird. And is the rest of their behaviour in a similar vein?
This is when you need a timely Alien Abduction - but I suspect The Martians might find them so boring or so inquisitive they would send them back!