talk me down from being furious!

[furiousnana]

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

Why does it matter if he is

Op I have health anxiety people just don’t get it. I’d probably go f ing mental and everyone would treat me like I’m an arsehole. YANBU

It doesn’t matter in itself, but there is the small matter of the wife and kid…

@furiousnana i understand, and light-hearted, your not you when your hangary

Ah thanks for that. I struggled to make sense of the posts tbh

i have no issue with being told 'its all in my head', and i was actually expecting to be told exactly this to be honest.

i've spoken with DH, explained why I am uncomfortable having GC until we know everyone is clear of any nasty bugs. I know SS was due to visit his grandparents tomorrow and DH is going to have a chat to make sure that they are fully aware of any possible consequences.

TBH--the way he is "talking", he sounds a bit full of it. Since he doesn't seem to "know" what he has, I would text him and tell him you are concerned, so you will be contacting the place where he works an ask them if there is something going around. If he protests, tell him that he is a HCA and SHOULD know exactly what is going on and since he won't share, and you have immunocompromised people in your life, you need to know.

Obsessive googling is not treatment, it makes it worse.

I assume that SS has a diagnosis, as when i dropped them off, i messaged DH and told him it was important we knew exactly what he had, and apparently SS then went onto his NHS app and found the name of the condition which he showed too his dad?

he tells us he has been off work for the past 4 days and that he has a test (i do not know who is doing this test but assume its the GP) on tuesday to see if its 'clear'. i have no idea what this test entails? We are due to have GC on thursday and i personally don't feel comfortable having him this time round.

I know it will cause issues, arguements and sulking, but i have to consider everyone in my family. DH is diabetic, so has his own health concerns, I've been fighting this stupid 'cold going round' since christmas and i've mentioned my own childrens health issues, its too big a gamble to take!

He should be isolating with his family until his test results. His partner and child should of also been tested. it’s actually fairly serious. He didn't get it from someone bleeding at work, I can tell you that right now. They're protocols for patients with this infection, including isolation. The department of infectious diseases would of been in touch with him telling him to isolate. You need to find out if his partner knows.

I'd phone his partner about this. You can't trust what he says and you have other family to consider.

Shigella is dysentery. People literally shit themselves to death and if he had it, frankly, he wouldn’t be mobile.

YABU - I think your SS is winding you up. go see a therapist for your germ phobia and have a word with your DH.

im not sure thats going to help, and i am going to assume (hope) thats shes oblivious too all this. i know she's been on a night out last night, and her and GC are having a day out today, and surley, someone in her position career wise would ignore something that i think is pretty serious?

i actually don't know if i am making a mountain out of a molehill?

Exactly (was being sarcastic)

Yes, I have been corrected and have said I misread the original post.

None of this makes sense - a health care professional acting like this? Dysentery but a vague diagnosis and treatment?
So odd.

I think you might be confusing dysentery with cholera. Dysentery can be mild and doesn’t necessarily require antibiotics. There are several species of shigella, the type most common in the UK is usually mild. It can be very serious or fatal but not usually. The more virulent species are rare in the UK, cases are usually travel related.

I would be livid !!

sadly i wish it were. i've now communicated with both SS and his fiance, and he says 'it's no big deal' and that he's done as medical professionals have advised him to do. and she says, 'he's a medical professional' and to give him some credit!

i have tapped out. both myself and DH have tried to reason why we are so upset by todays events, but apparently SS is hurt that we think he would put us in such danger!!

so i am done. i won't be baby sitting for GC at the weekend, i won't be driving them about anymore. I am looking after me and mine. DH has some decision making to do

and you are entitled to think that. i think you will see my post has been reported further up, and yet i'm still here.

i'm not sure how i can prove its genuine... but as they say opinions are lke a.. holes.. we all have them.

While I empathise with anyone with health anxiety there seems to be a lack of any concern for the health of the grandchild and step son and his partner. Are they ok? What symptoms/ treatment they might have or need. If I was ill in a contagious and serious way I genuinely think my mil would be almost insistent on looking after our daughter to keep her out of possible harms way

Well, as SS has been for a jolly day out with his dad, i think its safe to assume that he thinks he's ok. His partner went to a birthday party last night, and is out with friends for a playdate with GC today, so again its safe to assume that they are also think they are ok?

or clearly not concerned enough to stay at home?

We have only just been informed of SS's illness, it's not been mentioned to us once, this is the very first time we have heard about it? Perhaps, if we had been told prior to him announcing as he got in the car that he had a highly contagious 'blood infection' as he described it.. we wouldn't be where we are now would we?

Infection = cancellation of plan