talk me down from being furious!

[furiousnana]

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

He should still be isolating until tests are back.

Who isn't washing their one year old hands???

Shigella can be spread by oral/anal sex so not just a threat to homosexual people.

The OP said that is even washing a 1 year olds hand a thing, so I said yes it is!

This would seriously pss me off too, make him go home, explain how pseed off you are he never informed you and why and cancel the sleepover, self centred so and so……..

i guarantee this is 100% genuine.

i never said that... i responded too a comment about nursery and said the baby isn't in nursery and not walking so and i can't remember the exact wording, but baby won't be being shown handwashing. i didn't say it wasn't a thing!

He's a fucking adult!! Going on a road trip, married, with kids of his own. He should be fine.

Agree. You can catch it from oral/anal sex with an infected person - quite how that translates into ‘gays get dysentery’ is beyond me.

its not intended to be... i was asked a question, it was pertinent too my post and i answered.

just to clarify, after his 'affair' the couple decided to work things out, conceived and had a baby. sexual relations have not resumed since the birth of the baby and we know this because SS is an oversharer.. its not information i would expect to know about any of my children

No, it’s distortion of the facts. You can catch it from oral or anal sex with an infected person. Doesn’t have to be homosexuality related in any way.

You can actually get shigella from swimming in infected water in the UK, but l think you’re thinking of amoebic dysentery which is water borne and prevalent in tropical/sub tropical areas with poor sanitation.

I don't think this is.your anxiety issue. Someone is off work sick with an infectious disease. I wouldn't want to be round them.

You're not overreacting, it's highly infectious apparently 😳 I would be staying away from them for several weeks, including the baby. I'd also disinfect the inside of your car and door handles!

This was issued in 2023 -

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/warning-after-rise-in-extremely-drug-resistant-shigella

there is no actual evidence that SS is in a sexual relationship with another male! yes its happened in the past, but I can't say its going on now, but i can't now discount this... my head is in a right spin now!

Correct, it doesn’t have to be related to homosexuality but there have been a significant number of outbreaks amongst men who have sex with men (gay, bi and heterosexual men who have sex with other men), enough for the UKHSA to issue a warning. It would be a pertinent question to ask if taking a medical history from someone with the symptoms of Shigellosis.

If he’s off work sick with it as it’s so infectious should he have really been going out for the day with his Dad!!!

Either he’s exaggerating or there’s more to it than he’s letting on

@furiousnana as you have brought up two DDs with serious heart conditions I honestly disagree with the posts that you have a problem/are germ phobic. If dealing with their health risks is your norm your response is completely understandable. Don’t be made to feel bad. Sorry others in the family are not more considerate.

Have you actually clarified if he has been ill or is he just off work and taking antibiotics as a precaution?

He seems to have a fairly poor grasp of infection control and transmission for a HCA if he thinks you have to touch his poo and not wash your hands properly to be infected by Shigella, and doesn’t wear gloves or wash his hands properly after being exposed to blood. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has just misunderstood.

You may have been told that your needs were too complex for Talking Therapies / IAPT but you certainly won’t have been told they’re too complex for the NHS as a whole.

There are lots of services in the NHS and if your needs genuinely are complex you need referring to a different service not to go private to talk to a private therapist.

I agree. Unfortunately it’s really difficult to access anything other than CBT short courses on the NHS, at least in my experience. Im aware of one specialist service for OCD and PTSD (so assume there are others) but they are quite strict about who can access them and there can be a process to get funding if you’re out of the immediate area.

It sounds more like he’s had care of someone with a contagious disease and is on antibiotics as a precaution. All HCPs wear gloves touching patients and seem to be pretty obsessive about using hand gel and handwashing.
He wouldn’t be able to go anywhere more than a few yards from a toilet if he had active dysentery. Is he a bit of a drama llama?

Absolutely but it’s very misleading to say that your needs are too complex for the NHS because there are lots of services (that you have to jump through hoops for) for complex needs.

Shigella isn’t normally passed on via blood and it rarely infects the blood, if it does it’s really dangerous so he’d not be going on jollies with his dad.

It’s mainly passed on in faeces so either poor hand hygiene or close contact with the anus (e.g rimming like a PP mentioned). If 7 members of staff from a single ward have all caught it through their work and been signed off, I’d expect the hospital would be doing an internal investigation because that’s really poor infection prevention control!!

He’s either lying/confused about what infection he’s got or he’s yanking your chain.