talk me down from being furious!

[furiousnana]

name changed.. but at this point i don't care if anyone knows who i am, i'm that furious at the moment and need talking down. I suffer with anxiety over germs etc.

have just picked up SS's for a road trip to be informed that one of them is off work at the moment with an infectious blood infection, he's admitted that he's probably caught it by not washing his hands properly however assures me that it can only be passed on by consuming his poo!!

he has known that he has this infection for atleast 4 days, he can't remember the name of whatever it is it's called.

AIBU in a couple of things... 1. he could have told me/us before we picked him up so that I could have done my goggling and perhaps been ok with him being in the car, and 2. we are due to have his child next weekend for a sleep over, of which he's been at home with now all week.

i'm so furious right now and not really thinking straight! I have 2 grown up DD's both with serious heart conditions, and 1 is currently pregnant!

AIBU in cancelling the sleep over plans
YANBU?

thank you. GC does not currently go to nursery and is not yet walking.

I think it’s too far fetched to happen. It doesn’t take six people to hold someone’s arm and surely staff would think to wash their blood stained hands in the unlikely event they had all grabbed this patient.. It’s a wind up, OP.

It sounds to me like he's been given antibiotics/other medication as a preventative measure and the hospital are testing the staff who came into contact with infected patient to ensure they don't catch it.

I don't think he's purposely winding you up, just being flippant about something that happens every now and then at work.

Honestly this doesn't make any sense, I'd think he's lying about some aspect or what exactly it is.
I wouldn't have the gc over at all until your step son has been " given the all clear " from.whatever he has.

If he is a hands-on HCA and he is still in work, then he cannot be that infectious/contagious or he would have been laid off.

If he thinks this is a joke, then he needs his head examining.

I would play safe though as you have vulnerable family members and not allow the sleepover. If SS doesn't like it, then he has only himself to blame.

Shigella is not blood borne, it's a notifiable illness in the UK, I would expect the ward to be closed if I worked there and strict infection control measures and isolation. Whatever the truth, don't have him or his close contacts near you and tell grandparents he's got a tummy bug, knowingly passing on an illness is unforgiveable, especially to children and the elderly.

Yep, and not obe of them wore gloves apparently.

he is not at work! he informed us he's been off work for 4 days now!

Location is irrelevant. Shigella is a form of bacterial dysentery caused by poor hygeine - eg not washing your hands after going to the toilet. You can catch it by putting literally anything in your mouth that has touched infected poo. So by eating or drinking food or water contaminated with the bacteria, or through contact with someone who is sick or has recently been sick with it. It can also be spread sexually by oral-anal contact. In the UK it’s easily treated with antibiotics and takes about a week to resolve. Usually you’re no longer infectious after about three days, or when diarrhoea has resolved.

Right - well if he is a sufficient risk to be laid off for the last 4 days then you need to stay away from him and not allow GC to visit.

OP YANBU m.

I’m sorry OP. I don’t think your DSS is behaving very fairly here, especially if he knows you have anxiety around health and germs and you have vulnerable DDs?

Either he has a very poor grasp of medical concepts and/or didn’t pay attention properly at work to what they said about this infection or it’s a wind-up. The first one is worrying given his profession and unfair on others. If it’s a wind-up that’s frankly cruel and again incredibly worrying given his profession.

I think longer-term, you and DH need to sit down and think about boundaries if you are going to look after the GC e.g. if they are ill they must tell you in advance. Perhaps your DH looks after them or they go to the hospital park.

There is a bit of a wider thing here as it is good to expose yourself to situations that make you a bit uncomfortable in order to overcome your anxiety. Ideally you would work with a professional. There are some reasonably priced ones and you may only need a small number of sessions. There are also some really good books for self help.

Feel free to DM me x

DS and DP caught it in Egypt last year. Environmental health called us and we all had to stay off work and school.

I never caught it despite living in the same hotel room and then house with them. I think because I washed my hands properly and maxed out on hand gel.

He should definitely have told you before you went.

This doesn't make sense. Ok so you can catch it through infected blood but that means he must have had an open wound himself because it would have had to enter his own bloodstream to infect him.

Is he off work with potential shigella and being treated as precaution or has he actually got it.
I've never heard of it but going on the replies it sounds like he would be very poorly, not a casual sniffle.
He sounds very blasè about it all whilst you're frantic

Ok this makes sense now. He is clearly becoming Spiderman. Give him time.

Shigella can be blood borne in a small number of cases. Up to 7% of people develop bloodstream infections caused by Shigella itself, or by other germs in the gut that get into the bloodstream when Shigella damages intestinal linings. But I agree, it’s notifiable in the UK, so if he has it, it should have been notified and appropriate isolation measures taken given that it’s highly infectious.

The Grandchild not actually ill though - are they - and there the one stopping over. If they do get ill I wouldn't want them in my house to further spread it.

With the SS - 30 HCP - sounds like they have had preventative anti biotics and seem well enough to do a day out with their dad. So limited physical contact in car with you and presumably your Dh can wash hands and have good hygiene.

.I can see why you are unhappy - especially with a germ phobia on top - TBH if SS well enough to go out with you why mention it at all - but wonder if actual exposure and risk is low to you and he winding you up a bit.

I wouldn’t have the GC for a sleepover but equally I don’t believe that 6 members of staff were all stupid enough to touch someone’s blood without gloves and then not wash their hands , or that the incident required 6 members of staff . It is just beyond belief .

Then I agree he shouldn't really be going out at all then.

Sorry I meant they play in the park not the hospital park!

Very worrying if he works in healthcare and doesn’t wash his hands properly!

i had shigella when I was a child (1988 I think) and I was kept in isolation in hospital for a week or so.

And yes i was very ill!

If he has diarrhoea and it hasn’t resolved, he could still be infectious. Shigella is a form of bacterial dysentery and it’s highly contagious, and notifiable in the UK. He should be isolating until he’s sure he can’t infect others.

I don't think you need taking down. It's incredibly irresponsible to be off work with an infectious disease but carrying on as normal outside work.

FFs why does my SS do this to us? My DH will basically take whatever his son has said as gospel! I'll have to sit down with DH and pick apart everything SS has said, DH will brush it off and then an arguement will ensue!

At no point with DH challenge his son! and i'll be left being the bad guy AGAIN!